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[MUL] Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 - "The Calm Before the Storm" by Zeila

Started by Zeta, June 23, 2020, 05:02:25 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2
Console: Multiplatform
Title: The Calm Before the Storm
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zeila

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Latios212

Is this a medley presented in the same manner in game? Just wondering what the titles refer to exactly.

(This is a cool piece...)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Zeila

I never played the game but according to the comments and this video, the song dynamically changes between the title, menu/game mode select, and character selection screens

(yes, it is!)

Latios212

Okay :3

- Rolled chord symbol in m. 4 could use a bit more space to the left
- mf in m. 9 coudl use a bit more space as well
- m. 28 beat 2.5 chord sounds more like A-D-E than A-C-D to me. Also watch the inner ties
- I don't think I hear the G on top of the chord in m. 29, at least it sounds like the E is more prominent
- Any reason m. 30 doesn't use 32nd notes like m. 27/29?

Is that a custom ending?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Zeila

Quote from: Latios212 on July 18, 2020, 08:46:11 AM- I don't think I hear the G on top of the chord in m. 29, at least it sounds like the E is more prominent
After listening to it again, I think it's actually present down an octave so I just shifted it

Quote from: Latios212 on July 18, 2020, 08:46:11 AM- Any reason m. 30 doesn't use 32nd notes like m. 27/29?
Not particularly, it has been changed

Quote from: Latios212 on July 18, 2020, 08:46:11 AMIs that a custom ending?
Yup

The rest was changed, thanks!

Latios212

Great! I still think that m. 4 could use a bit of extra space at the beginning via the Measure Tool but that's about it. Approving :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Interesting piece; I don't think I've seen this sort of dynamic music used on menus before.

Most of my concerns are with bars 25 onward.  At the moment, I feel like from that point on the arrangement is missing a lot of what is going on in the original.  Before 25 looks good.

Bar 25:  On beat 3 the bass comes in for the first time, but instead we have the left hand suddenly go to a higher register than before.  I'd recommend moving some of the piano chords/harmony notes to the right hand so that you can include the bass lower down in the left hand here.

Bar 31: Here you include the bass part at the end of the bar in the left hand, which is fine, but it feels a bit arbitrary to me since you never include it anywhere else really.  I would recommend including the bass more often!  Bar 33 is currently quite empty, especially the second half and would probably benefit from similarly using the bass part in the left hand.  You could also try keeping the piano in the RH for bar 32 so you can play the bass with the LH in 32 also, but that might not work quite so well (and the way you have it now isn't as empty as 33).  In general, I think including the bass more in this section would help, especially in the bars where the left hand isn't doing anything for the second half of the bar.

Bars 35-41 is where the right hand starts to go off from the original significantly.  You're missing RH (piano) notes in every bar here, the worst offender is probably bar 40 where you've written in a semibreve despite the piano playing throughout the whole bar.  For example, bar 35 should start with E and D semiquavers before the E semiquaver on beat 1.5.  There's a lot so I'd recommend looking through this section again carefully.

Some specific things:
-The run at the end of bar 39 sounds like it should be an octave lower, along with the subsequent chord.  (And there should be a C before the B at the start).
-I'd adjust the middle tie in the RH chord in bar 31 since it got quite squished.  Same for the first chord in bar 28.
-If bar 42+ is a custom ending I'd recommend noting it as such.  Especially since you've meticulously marked out the other sections.
-I think it'd be nicer to avoid the collisions between slurs/ties on the repeat markings in bar 34/35 by lifting the hooks so that'd they're out of the way.
-I'd second Latios' comment about bar 4.  The roll marking is just a little too close to the clef I think.
-You could put a rh marking in bar 24 if you wanted to, since it's not quite notated the same way as the previous instance.
-Really minor but, since we're making edits anyway, I should mention that some of the roll markings' placements are a little uneven.  Particularly ones like in 26 and 39, but it might be worth just having a look through them all and neatening them up a little where you think it's appropriate.

Zeila

Here's the real post now <_<

Quote from: Libera on July 31, 2020, 01:30:54 PMBar 25:  On beat 3 the bass comes in for the first time, but instead we have the left hand suddenly go to a higher register than before.  I'd recommend moving some of the piano chords/harmony notes to the right hand so that you can include the bass lower down in the left hand here.

Bar 31: Here you include the bass part at the end of the bar in the left hand, which is fine, but it feels a bit arbitrary to me since you never include it anywhere else really.  I would recommend including the bass more often!  Bar 33 is currently quite empty, especially the second half and would probably benefit from similarly using the bass part in the left hand.  You could also try keeping the piano in the RH for bar 32 so you can play the bass with the LH in 32 also, but that might not work quite so well (and the way you have it now isn't as empty as 33).  In general, I think including the bass more in this section would help, especially in the bars where the left hand isn't doing anything for the second half of the bar.
You raise some good points, I tried to incorporate the bass more and some parts were raised an octave to include other notes like beat 3 of m27 and 29. I also changed m31 too

Quote from: Libera on July 31, 2020, 01:30:54 PMBars 35-41 is where the right hand starts to go off from the original significantly.  You're missing RH (piano) notes in every bar here, the worst offender is probably bar 40 where you've written in a semibreve despite the piano playing throughout the whole bar.  For example, bar 35 should start with E and D semiquavers before the E semiquaver on beat 1.5.  There's a lot so I'd recommend looking through this section again carefully.
I left a few out intentionally for various reasons but I suppose I took it too far (like with m37 or m40). Anyways, I added more notes in between

Quote from: Libera on July 31, 2020, 01:30:54 PM-The run at the end of bar 39 sounds like it should be an octave lower, along with the subsequent chord.  (And there should be a C before the B at the start).
I raised the run up an octave because I figured that would be more natural to play with the subsequent chord in m40 being an octave higher since the chords and melody sound like they're progressing upwards. I will still lower the run and chord though because of the extra stuff in m40

Quote from: Libera on July 31, 2020, 01:30:54 PM-You could put a rh marking in bar 24 if you wanted to, since it's not quite notated the same way as the previous instance.
Sure. I also changed m25 by notating the B upwards too

The rest was updated, thanks!

Libera

Great, 25+ looks fuller now.  I'll now go through it...

-Bar 37 beat 1: sounds like there should be a C in the right hand at the top that starts the semiquaver run.
-Bar 38 beat 4: the semiquavers sound like E D C D to me.
-Bar 41 beat 4: I think there should be an A on top of this chord.
-Bar 35 beats 1-2: I'm hearing something like this:
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-You have beams colliding in bar 32.
-The LH rhythm in bar 29 would be easier to read without the tied D on beat 4 and I'm not sure it adds anything.

I know that you seem to like using the finale default staff size but I think this sheet would really benefit from a smaller one (0.65cm would work really well, as it often does), particularly because the music is starting to get kind of cramped in places on pages 2-3.  Alternatively, you could go to four pages to help spread out the last section more (if you're really against decreasing the staff size) but I would personally prefer changing the staff size.

Zeila

Quote from: Libera on August 01, 2020, 09:19:50 AMI know that you seem to like using the finale default staff size but I think this sheet would really benefit from a smaller one (0.65cm would work really well, as it often does), particularly because the music is starting to get kind of cramped in places on pages 2-3.  Alternatively, you could go to four pages to help spread out the last section more (if you're really against decreasing the staff size) but I would personally prefer changing the staff size.
I'd rather change the staff size, done.

Thanks once again! Everything else should be updated

Libera


Zeta