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[DC] Wacky Races - "Snow La Coasta" by ShyYoshiGuy

Started by Zeta, June 24, 2020, 11:53:17 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Wacky Races
Console: Dreamcast
Title: Snow La Coasta
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: ShyYoshiGuy

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ShyYoshiGuy

https://youtu.be/5pkjPCdvi0M

The YouTube video calls the piece "Gruesome Towers". It is true that this song plays during that course. However, Snow La Coasta is the first course that uses this song, as well as the only course unlocked from the beginning of the game that uses this song. As far as this OST goes, I believe the six main themes should be named after the first course that uses each theme.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Latios212

Sorry for the wait on this one! Taking a look now. This looks pretty solid overall, glad to see!

First off - makes sense, your reasoning for the title. The naming convention you suggested is similar to that of the Mario Kart series, so I'm fine with it.

Some quick and easy feedback:
- Bass notes in the first measure should be G, not D.
- The RH in the first measure seems a bit low (two octaves lower than in the original). Maybe raise it an octave from where it is now?
- Use an eighth note + 16th rest instead of dotted eighth in m. 2 and 4. This is the correct rhythm grouping - and additionally there's a notable pause between that note and the next which should be noted by this 16th rest.
- There's a difference between how every other measure in the first repeat section (m. 2-10) is articulated. Try putting the melody in m. 3/5/etc. in octave and see how you like that.
- In m. 10, beat 2.5 in LH should be a B (similar to m. 10).
- The A#s at the end of m. 10 should be Bbs. (Descending chromatically to the next measure B > Bb > A)
- Similarly (chromatic descents) I would suggest writing beat 3 of m. 11 as Eb and beat 3 of m. 13 as Gb.
- m. 29-32 sound pretty empty without the offbeat chords in the left hand. There's an easy way to make this sound more lively without making it much harder - write eighth notes in the offbeats. For example, you could write B (above the G) in the offbeats of m. 29 since we have a G major chord here. Similarly up to the first half of m. 32.
- Use Bb in m. 34 (chromatic neighboring tone: A-Bb-A)
- I suggest using flats instead of sharps in m. 35-43 (except for the F#s).
- Left hand in m. 38 and 42 descend chromatically back to the C at the end (they end in Eb-D-Db)
- I think the lower right hand notes in m. 35-36 and 39-40 should be all C (some of them are B currently).

Some parts I think need a little revisiting - i.e. try giving another look when transcribing:
- There should be a lot more going on in the RH of m. 11-14. If you're going for the brass (I think?) voice you can fill in the harmonies - sounds like for the A B C D notes you can fill them out with major triads in the second inversion. You can also try using those chords placed to the rhythm of the piano part in the original to make it more interesting.
- m. 15 isn't the same as measure 1 - that measure should be re-transcribed.

Also, everything I said about m. 2-15 applies to the places they're repeated (i.e. m. 16-23 and on page 3) since as far as I can tell they're the same.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

ShyYoshiGuy

Yay, thanks for the feedback! Most of that was easy to change, and I agree with all your suggestions. The .mus is updated now. And sorry that NotePad keeps screwing up the spacing.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Latios212

Cool! No worries, I'll help you get the formatting all sorted out once we're done with the notes.

Follow-up on the above fixes, everything else looks good I think:
- Sorry, forgot to point out the same rhythm error in m. 3/7 (dotted eighth should be eighth + 16th rest) as well. Same in the duplicated places.
- I think the offbeat notes in m. 32 would make more sense as D above the bass notes (instead of the F#) to preserve the up-down contour.
- Last measure RH in octaves too?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

ShyYoshiGuy

The first and third points there seem obvious now, lol. But there we go, it's updated again.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

Latios212

#6
Great! I updated the sheet with formatting fixes. (Also assume you meant to make the last RH note an octave as well.) I think we could mess around with the measure distribution a little more if someone thinks it'd be good to, but it works as is.

Approved :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

ShyYoshiGuy

Quote from: Latios212 on July 30, 2020, 04:36:06 PMGreat! I updated the sheet with formatting fixes. (Also assume you meant to make the last RH note an octave as well.)

Approved :)

Yes I did, oof. Yay, thank you for doing that for me.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

mastersuperfan

Odd that this music plays in a track called "Gruesome Towers"...

- The "Composition by" should be split into two lines (probably at the end of Marshall Parker's name) so that it doesn't extend so far left.
- The first note in m1 RH should be a high G (higher than the D on beat 1.5).
- m9 and m10 RH (and all similar future measures) could use a staccato on the first eighth note on beat 1.
- You might consider doubling the LH part up in the RH in m11-14 so that the RH isn't just playing the same notes over and over (see image below); this also applies to m44-51. (This does make m11-14 really crowded, so the measure distribution would probably have to be adjusted.)
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- m16-23 shouldn't be written with a repeat. On the second pass, there are extra harmonies in the RH, so both phrases should be written out separately, with the extra notes added in the second half in the first, third, fifth, and seventh measures as shown below. (The same thing happens in m53-61, which should also be written out separately into two phrases. This means that the arrangement will have to go onto a fourth page.)
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- A mezzo piano marking would be nice in m24, and then a return to mezzo forte in m29.
- m24/26/29/31 RH beat 1.5 (G) should be two sixteenth notes instead of one eighth note.
- m27 LH beat 3 should be a dotted eighth and a sixteenth rather than two eighths.
- There are some extra notes you can add in m29-31 LH. Also, the LH would benefit from having staccatos here:
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- I would include the dyads in m32 LH by writing it like this, in two layers:
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To do this, enter the black notes into Layer 1 and the red notes into Layer 2. Put a half rest for the first half of Layer 2, and then hide it by highlight it and pressing H. You might have to flip beats 1-2 by pressing L. You will have to manually move the staccatos above the noteheads for beats 1-2 (Finale will put them below the stems by default).

- For m33 beats 1-4 and m34 beats 1-2, I would recommend adding E's above the C's in the LH. I would also put staccatos on all the LH notes. Also, I would recommend transposing the last three notes (G-A-B) in m34 LH down one octave in order to lead into m35 better. Finally, on m34 beat 3, there is a G under the C in the RH. See below:
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- The whole notes in m35 and m39 RH should be tied over to the first beat of m36 and m40, respectively.
- The last three notes in m38 and m42 RH (Eb-D-Db) would benefit from staccatos and by being doubled an octave below.
- All the notes in m43 (both hands) should have accents and staccatos on them. (Don't add accents and staccatos separately; there's an articulation that has both combined.)
- You might consider putting accents on all the notes (both hands) in the final measure, except for beat 4, which is softer. (Use a combined staccato + accent for the first eighth note on beat 1.) Also, there's a low C in the LH on beat 4. See below:
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Long story short: utilize articulations and dynamic changes! You want to make it clear to the player how to play each particular passage instead of leaving them to guess. There's more to a great arrangement than just getting the right notes.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

ShyYoshiGuy

I won't be able to address this until Sunday or most likely Monday, oof. Thank you for the feedback, I'll see how I can incorporate it then.

This is useless information, but it also plays in the track "Ice Caverns". Both snow themes are happy like this, see Snow Hope Village. But yeah, I guess it's not all that fitting being that the course is a mansion with a cemetery in the back.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

ShyYoshiGuy

NotePad really didn't like me adding measures like that, oof. Once spaced out though, the music should be right.
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Quote from: mastersuperfan on July 31, 2020, 07:11:41 PM- The "Composition by" should be split into two lines (probably at the end of Marshall Parker's name) so that it doesn't extend so far left.

I don't know how to fix that without breaking it, but I agree it should probably take up two lines. (And before Battle Theme makes it on site, same thing.)

Quote from: mastersuperfan on July 31, 2020, 07:11:41 PM- I would include the dyads in m32 LH by writing it like this, in two layers:
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[close]
To do this, enter the black notes into Layer 1 and the red notes into Layer 2. Put a half rest for the first half of Layer 2, and then hide it by highlight it and pressing H. You might have to flip beats 1-2 by pressing L. You will have to manually move the staccatos above the noteheads for beats 1-2 (Finale will put them below the stems by default).

I see no buttons in NotePad to make layers, but yeah good idea.


Sorry it took so long to get to this, but there ya go. It's updated again.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

mastersuperfan

Quote from: ShyYoshiGuy on August 02, 2020, 11:21:37 AMI see no buttons in NotePad to make layers, but yeah good idea.
What about the bottom-left corner?
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

ShyYoshiGuy

"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

ShyYoshiGuy

Funnily enough, the staccatos went in the right spots by default. Pressing H on the half rest didn't work unfortunately. But it's there now.
"Don't be nervous, be of service."
   - Jacob Howard
On-site arrangements

Guguuh!

mastersuperfan

Changes look good. Later today, I'll grab the formatting, measure distribution, and any remaining things, update the files, and accept.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.