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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Metroid
Game: Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Theme of Rundas
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom

[Maelstrom]

I did a lot of simplifications+additions to chords to make this work on piano.

[Libera]

Sorry for the wait!  Checking now...

-I don't really hear this C -> Eb thing in bars 5, 9, 19 etc...  It sounds like the Eb comes in on beat 1.5 just like all of the other ones.
-The chord in bar 15-16 sounds like Gm to me rather than Bb.
-The chord on beat 4.5 of bar 34 and 38 is wicked hard to play in both the left and right hands.  I can just about stretch the RH one but the LH one is impossible for me without awkwardly playing both the Ab and G with my thumb.  You might want to give that one a rethink.
-The bass in bar 27 should look like in bar 25.  Bar 29's should look like bar 30's.  At least that's what I hear anyway.
-Bass goes back up the a C rather than a Bb at the end of bars 36 and 40 which matches the bass pattern in all the other bars in that section (i.e. anticipating the next bars bass note).  APART from in bar 40 the second time round where it stays on a G.  This point sounds annoying because it's only one note and it'd mean you'd have to write out 8 more bars, but I think you should write those 8 bars out anyway because of my next point.
-Why miss out the guitar riffs in bars 36, 40, 36* and 40*?  The ends of the phrases sound pretty boring without them to me.
-I think it'd be better to keep the second top note in bars 33-40 to be a G throughout.  For one, I don't hear the top vocal part going down to an F at the end, but also I think the G is just more prominent at the ends of the phrase than the F so it'd make more sense to double the G (in the harmony) than to double the F. 
-I'm not super sure but the second chord in bar 43 sounds like it might be a Gm7 rather than Gm (same as in bar 47).
-I'm hearing something different for the bassline in bars 41 onwards.  Like this:

Spoiler

[close]

i.e. I don't hear it starting the bars on a Bb or going back up to a C at the end.
-The chords in bars 57-60, 65-72 should be dim7s rather than dims.
-I'm not sure I hear the guitar going up to an Eb on beat 2 of bars 57, 59 etc.  Kinda sounds like it's staying around C still.
-I'm not going to lie, 57 to the end is kind of boring without the guitar solo written in.  Especially 61-64 where the RH is doing nothing at all and the left hand is just continuing with the same riff it's already been doing for 8 bars.  Basically the end of this track is just a guitar solo with some fixed backings, and here we only have the backings so it sounds a bit meh.

Hopefully some of that is useful.

[Maelstrom]

Here we go, exactly one month later.

I hear the C-Eb thing pretty well, especially in m5.
I hear m41 as I now have it written. Idk what else to say except maybe another pair of ears might convince me.

re: guitar at the end: Well, I would argue it's not the same because everything else is louder than the guitar solo. Still added it into the empty section anyway.

Changed everything else

[Libera]

I hear the C-Eb thing pretty well, especially in m5.

Still don't hear this.  If I listen for the Eb it comes in on beat 1.5.  Also I think all of the ones in 9-10 are on the beat, not just the ones in 10.  (This goes for all the other instances as well.)  I guess we should probably have someone else check this.

-Bass goes back up the a C rather than a Bb at the end of bars 36 and 40

APART from in bar 40 the second time round where it stays on a G.

^This still.  Remember that the repeats are now gone.

-For the last beat of the guitar in bar 40 I hear this:

Spoiler

[close]

-Bar 44 sounds nothing like what you wrote in.
-Slur on the grace in bar 47 to match the others?

I hear m41 as I now have it written. Idk what else to say except maybe another pair of ears might convince me.

Remember this is now 49+.  If you still disagree then yeah I guess we can ask someone else.

-Missing a G->An in bar 70 beat 4 (before the Bb).
-I think the guitar riff in the left hand might be different every other time.  The first third etc sound like what you wrote but the even ones I think it doesn't go up to an Eb on beat 2 and it goes to a Bb on beat 2.5 rather than beat 3.  Admittedly it's kind of hard to hear.
-Should be F# rather than G# in the chords for 65 etc.  Also I think it should be the An on top.

re: guitar at the end: Well, I would argue it's not the same because everything else is louder than the guitar solo. Still added it into the empty section anyway.

Honestly I'm not sure what to do about this final section.  At the moment it sounds very underwhelming in my opinion.  Even if you're not writing in the solo more it needs dynamics or articulations or ...something to bring it out more.

[Maelstrom]

m40 guitar - I hear the F but it also has a quick bend up and back to a G. The triplet I have is a way of including that. Thoughts?

Guitar patterns - I still hear the Eb there, and want to keep it to avoid droning on the C for that much longer. I do,  however, hear that b2.5 Bb so I added it in and tied it to b3. I also changed the 2nd measure of each set - I don't think the F is restruck outside of the mordent so I just made it 4 16ths instead.

Chords - I think I was hearing the An at the top as the G#. So I lowered the G# to an F# and added the An on top and it sounds even better now.

Next updater - Check the C-Eb thing in m5 and 9.

Again, thanks for the feedback and taking so much time to closely check it. Files updated

[Libera]

-Bar 44 sounds nothing like what you wrote in.

Still not sure what is going on here.

m40 guitar - I hear the F but it also has a quick bend up and back to a G. The triplet I have is a way of including that. Thoughts?

How about this then?

Spoiler

[close]

-Bass goes back up the a C rather than a Bb at the end of bars 36 and 40

^This still.  Remember that the repeats are now gone.

^This still x2 combo.

I hear m41 as I now have it written. Idk what else to say except maybe another pair of ears might convince me.

Remember this is now 49+.  If you still disagree then yeah I guess we can ask someone else.

Still would like this double checked.  Same for the C-Eb in bar 5 etc.

Honestly I'm not sure what to do about this final section.  At the moment it sounds very underwhelming in my opinion.  Even if you're not writing in the solo more it needs dynamics or articulations or ...something to bring it out more.

Did you give this any thought?  I still think this final section could do with some more dynamics/articulations to help bring it out more.

Again, thanks for the feedback and taking so much time to closely check it. Files updated

No problem, hopefully we can close this one out soon.

[Latios212]

-I don't really hear this C -> Eb thing in bars 5, 9, 19 etc...  It sounds like the Eb comes in on beat 1.5 just like all of the other ones.

I hear the C-Eb thing pretty well, especially in m5.

I agree with Maelstrom here; I hear it as currently written.

-Bar 44 sounds nothing like what you wrote in.

Is 44 the right bar we're talking about? I hear the electric guitar playing the countermelody written in here (C's and Bb's)

Spoiler

[close]

Yeah, I agree with this for the bass in m. 49+.

Other suggestions:
- In m. 5 and similar, I would suggest extending the top layer notes until the end of the beat - i.e. eighth rest + dotted quarter rather than eighth reat + quarter + eighth rest
- You could just use a dotted half instead of quarter-tied-half in m. 25/29
- Would suggest putting the staccato below the note in m. 38
- The melody sounds like it descends to a C (instead of staying at G) at the end of m. 39 and 47.
- Fix the inner ties crossing for the chords in m. 65 and similar

[Maelstrom]

Made all changes except:
-Didn't change m47 melody line because I chose to follow the guitar here as it goes into the next measure. The C is covered by the 2nd layer anyway. Also made the last RH chord in the system easier to play in all instances.

talked with libera over discord.

Files updated

[Libera]

Nice to finish up with this one.  Good work!

Approved.

[Latios212]

let's goooooo

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot