[MUL] Star Wars: Bounty Hunter - "Main Theme" by Kricketune54

[Kricketune54]

Thanks for the help! 

I have resubmitted, also with a change:  I took out the 8va because it seemed to glitch out in the MuseScore to finale transfer on my end, so I cleaned up m14 to reflect how I had originally designed it between the two layers.  Also moved m14 B from LH to RH.  I think the m15 8th sounds good as you changed it.

[Maelstrom]

looks great!

[Kricketune54]

Thank you!  Looking to be the first Star Wars piece accepted on the website haha

[mastersuperfan]

Sorry for the wait on this one. I forgot about it, and that was my bad. With that said, here's some feedback:

- I don't think the character indication on the tempo marking makes a whole lot of sense. I get that it's a reference, but it seems like a bit of a contrived attempt to mix a reference with a legitimate character indication. I would just suggest using something like "Menacingly" or "Dramatically."
- You might consider changing the RH to bass clef from m1 to the first half of m6 (as well as m18). It gets a bit low as is (particularly m4) and looks a bit awkward with all the extra space you have to add between the staves.
- In m7-11, the Ab's should all be written as G#'s, and the Eb's should all be written as D#'s.
- In m7/8 LH, did you mean to write the chords on beat 3 with an F# on top and an Fn on the bottom?
- The short descrendos in m7 and m8 look awkward and don't make a ton of sense to me. I would suggest removing the decrescendo and putting a piano dynamic marking on beat 3, and then putting a mp or mf on beat 4 so that the player knows to revert back to the louder dynamic again.
- The crescendo in m11 doesn't really make a lot of sense either since you can't make held notes get louder. If you want the LH chord on beat 3 to be stronger than the RH chord on beat 1, you can put an accent on it. But the crescendo you have right now doesn't really mean anything.
- Likewise with the decrescendo in m13 as well, since there are no tremolos there and only one eighth note before the end of the decrescendo. If you want it to get quieter by beat 3, I would just put a dynamic on beat 3 and remove the decrescendo.
- Also same with the "molto dim." in m15—just put a softer dynamic marking on beat 4.5 of m15.
- m14 RH Layer 2 beat 1 is offset compared to beat 1. Should be fixed if you just delete the half note in Layer 2 and re-enter it.
- In m1 and m17, move the mp dynamics slighly left to be center-aligned with the noteheads on beat 1.

I might take a closer look at the chords next time, but everything sounds okay from a glance.

[Kricketune54]

Sorry for the wait on this one. I forgot about it, and that was my bad. With that said, here's some feedback:

- I don't think the character indication on the tempo marking makes a whole lot of sense. I get that it's a reference, but it seems like a bit of a contrived attempt to mix a reference with a legitimate character indication. I would just suggest using something like "Menacingly" or "Dramatically."

yeah this was goofy

m14 RH Layer 2 beat 1 is offset compared to beat 1. Should be fixed if you just delete the half note in Layer 2 and re-enter it.

This was actually by design as you can hear in the piece that the French horn (as the second voice here) moves to Dn on beat 3 while the trumpet part is held until the end of beat 4.  If you think it's too jarring I'll sync the horn note on beat 3.

Making the rest of the changes currently

[Kricketune54]

- You might consider changing the RH to bass clef from m1 to the first half of m6 (as well as m18). It gets a bit low as is (particularly m4) and looks a bit awkward with all the extra space you have to add between the staves.

Just reuploaded with all feedback addressed (decided to go with some different dynamics in some spots to replace crescendos), but I didn't make this change because I don't think Notepad can.  I know that if I try and do this in MuseScore the margins are going to get thrown out of wack here so would it be okay if someone with real finale made the above change?

[mastersuperfan]

Here are some updated files: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/pgnpmctu71fcd83/AADt-X2-lJ0pSy5gtqICOlVwa?dl=0

Changes I made:
- The clef change I suggested in m1-6 RH
- Changed all the Ab's to G#'s
- Changed the LH pattern on m3 beat 4
- Where applicable, changed note durations to last across a whole measure instead of being interrupted by rests
- Fixed the tremolos in m7-8 LH
- Added a pickup at the end of m11 (let me know what you think about this one, you can change around the pitches if you want)
- Messed around with dynamics a little bit (added back the crescendos in m7-8 since there are tremolos there now, moved the mf in m15 to the end since I think beat 1 of m15 is still forte)
- Fixed the formatting (also changed http to https in the url)

Let me know what you think and if there's anything else you want to edit, and I'll be happy to accept.

[Kricketune54]

Here are some updated files: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/pgnpmctu71fcd83/AADt-X2-lJ0pSy5gtqICOlVwa?dl=0

Changes I made:
- The clef change I suggested in m1-6 RH
- Changed all the Ab's to G#'s
- Changed the LH pattern on m3 beat 4
- Where applicable, changed note durations to last across a whole measure instead of being interrupted by rests
- Fixed the tremolos in m7-8 LH
- Added a pickup at the end of m11 (let me know what you think about this one, you can change around the pitches if you want)
- Messed around with dynamics a little bit (added back the crescendos in m7-8 since there are tremolos there now, moved the mf in m15 to the end since I think beat 1 of m15 is still forte)
- Fixed the formatting (also changed http to https in the url)

Let me know what you think and if there's anything else you want to edit, and I'll be happy to accept.

Thank you for fixing some of these finale issues!

I'm good with m11 pickup I had originally submitted with a pickup triplet run but I now hear the 16ths.  I think F# is okay because it fits with the chord and before going to G# (it's a shame this is the only official recording of the piece, as the audio is so compressed it's hard to decipher some of the pitches).

Looks good to me now!

[mastersuperfan]

all right, nice

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot