News:

Need help with Finale? Have a question about arranging? NSM Resources is the place to go!

Main Menu

[NDS] Nintendogs - "Naptime Record" by PokéMaster

Started by Zeta, August 16, 2020, 04:34:31 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Nintendogs
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Naptime Record
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PokéMaster

[attachment deleted by admin]


Maelstrom

Alright. Notes first.
RH - m7 b1 - I hear an Eb here instead of the rest.
b3 - I hear an Ab harmony below the C here.
There's no reason why b4 of m19/27 has to be in the LH. It's perfectly playable in the RH and I would argue it's also much easier to play because you don't need to jump back down with the LH afterwards.
m20 RH b1 looks like this: (also in m28

m23 RH - I just hear an F for this, and an octave below where you have it. Don't hear the C at all
m23 LH - There's a rest on beat 4.
m24 RH b1 - there's an En below that chord. Perfectly playable.
Up to you, but I'd give the Bb in m24 b3 to the LH instead.
m32 RH b1 - there's a F below the chord. It also sounds rolled.

Formatting stuff:
Put the simile below the barline? It would be cleaner that way and that's where the accidentals are anyway.
I'm unsure what purpose the ties to nothing serve. I'm not sure how you would let those ring without ped, which would be a simpler marking by far...
m9, 25, 29, and 33 - make those pairs of quarter rests a half rest.
m12 - align the pp and mf to be in the same line. It looks weird the way it is.
Speaking of looking weird, all the a tempos seem to be aligned funky. I thought convention was to line them up with the first note of the measure, and that doesn't feel like what they're doing at all.
Move the rolled chord marking away from the barline in the final measure. If you need to, move the whole notes further inward.
no forte and/or cresc in m21? It is certainly louder and sounds like it gets louder after that point.

PokeMaestro

QuoteRH - m7 b1 - I hear an Eb here instead of the rest.
Really? Not me, sorry

Quoteb3 - I hear an Ab harmony below the C here.
Ah, y'are right, thanks.

QuoteThere's no reason why b4 of m19/27 has to be in the LH. It's perfectly playable in the RH and I would argue it's also much easier to play because you don't need to jump back down with the LH afterwards
Mh, I agree. Originally I constructed this like right now because then interrupts the 4-2-4 game in the left hand.

Quotem20 RH b1 looks like this: (also in m28
corrected

Quotem24 RH b1 - there's an En below that chord. Perfectly playable.
what? I've taked a closer look and I noticed this passage was incorrect: Instead of the previous I've added an arpeggio between d' and b♭'. click to look But I didn't know what you meant, sorry.

QuoteUp to you, but I'd give the Bb in m24 b3 to the LH instead.
Makes sense, I've constructed it so now that the pianist can choose the hand there.

Quotem32 RH b1 - there's a F below the chord. It also sounds rolled.
alright, corrected

QuotePut the simile below the barline? It would be cleaner that way and that's where the accidentals are anyway.
Well, is not a must for me but okay

QuoteI'm unsure what purpose the ties to nothing serve. I'm not sure how you would let those ring without ped, which would be a simpler marking by far...
alright, added pedal markings

Quotem9, 25, 29, and 33 - make those pairs of quarter rests a half rest.
Yep. I think you include m1 and m21 too.

Quotem12 - align the pp and mf to be in the same line. It looks weird the way it is.
Done.

QuoteSpeaking of looking weird, all the a tempos seem to be aligned funky.
yep

QuoteMove the rolled chord marking away from the barline in the final measure. If you need to, move the whole notes further inward.
Fixed. Fortunately it wasn't required to move the notes further inward.

Quoteno forte and/or cresc in m21? It is certainly louder and sounds like it gets louder after that point.
I've added a forte in m25


Thank you for the detailed feedback  :)

Maelstrom

I don't really see the point of the ped markings at all. I can't hear those notes ringing out longer than any others in the whole song and it just feels unnecessary.

Why is the En in m2 spelled with an Fb? It makes it harder to tell the chord is just a simple F7. I'd strongly recommend using a En instead in all instances.

-m17 rh b3 - I hear the F in this chord as a Ab
-m23 rh b1 - I don't hear the octave harmony here, just the lower F.
-m27 rh b4 - I hear the same chord here as back in m19 rather than the single note.
-m31 rh b4 - I hear the solitary G here instead of a full chord

PokeMaestro


Maelstrom


Latios212

Pretty solid. I don't think there should be a key signature change in this one, though. Two flats (Bb key signature) makes sense throughout and I would recommend writing it like that.

Other things:
- If I recall correctly, "Naptime Record" is a more accurate title since this is actual music from one of the records in game.
- m. 24 would look more natural if the half notes in the LH were written as quarter notes in one layer, or if the Bb on beat 3 was written in the right hand instead
- We should have courtesy naturals on the Dn in m. 6/8/14/16/38 since they immediately follow a Db
- Watch the spacing for the pp markings in the PDF export. Sometimes Finale's exporter likes to mess with those
- The first chord in m. 17 should have an F on top
- I don't think m. 31 needs an 8va, that octave sounds like it should be at the staff height it's written.
- Second chord in m. 31 should be inverted up (C on top instead of bottom).
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

PokeMaestro

#8
QuoteI don't think there should be a key signature change in this one, though. Two flats (Bb key signature) makes sense throughout and I would recommend writing it like that.
You're right, I'm removing the F minor. Although I love key changes so much :'( But I would leave the double barline.

Quote- m. 24 would look more natural if the half notes in the LH were written as quarter notes in one layer, or if the Bb on beat 3 was written in the right hand instead
I intentionally constructed this so that the performer can decide for himself whether to play it with his left or right hand. For the sake of clarity I have extended the stem of the note to the top.

Quote- We should have courtesy naturals on the Dn in m. 6/8/14/16/38 since they immediately follow a Db
Done

Quote- The first chord in m. 17 should have an F on top
Done

Quote- I don't think m. 31 needs an 8va, that octave sounds like it should be at the staff height it's written.
Alright, I've accented this octave instead.

Quote- Second chord in m. 31 should be inverted up (C on top instead of bottom).
Done


Latios212

Cool, changes look good. Last few things:
- Roll marking is too close to the barline in m. 38; should be moved right a bit
- I don't think we really need a double barline at m. 16-17 in particular. The music does similar things elsewhere like in m. 8 and 32 and the piece doesn't seem to change too significantly in this one particularly place.

Also these things still:
Quote from: Latios212 on November 06, 2020, 01:43:36 PM- If I recall correctly, "Naptime Record" is a more accurate title since this is actual music from one of the records in game.
- Watch the spacing for the pp markings in the PDF export. Sometimes Finale's exporter likes to mess with those

I'd be happy to take care of these last few things for you. Just let me know
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

PokeMaestro

Rest was updated

QuoteI'd be happy to take care of these last few things for you. Just let me know
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't get back to those points. I thought the pdf was fixed. Anyway, if it wasn't fixed already, I would be happy too if you can could do that, you as longtime Finale user probaly get this better than I do ;D


Latios212

No worries. All taken care of! (I also adjusted the spacing around some of the roll markings slightly).

Accepting now :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot