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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons
Game: Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Title Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek

[Code_Name_Geek]

The only weird thing in here is a bit of voice crossing that sometimes looks confusing - any suggestions are welcome!

[mastersuperfan]

- To get nitpicky with grammar for a moment: In the tempo marking, since "eighth note" is a symbol, the plural should be made with an apostrophe before the s.
- The tempo should be 123 BPM specifically. Also, the number in your tempo marking is bolded for some reason.
- I think the measure distribution would look better with 4 measures per system and the last system ending halfway across the page. However, I know some people prefer not to shorten the last system, so this is up to you.
- On m8 LH Layer 2 beat 3, there's a low F where you have a rest in the triplet, if you wanted to add that or not. (The F plays in the triplet twice in a row). Same goes for m26.
- In the second half of m8, you should use the note mover tool to manually move the swung eighth notes in the RH and LH to be aligned with the last note in the LH triplets.
- You can hide the Layer 2 half rest and flip Layer 1 down for m9/13 beats 1-2.
- For m9/13 beat 4, write RH Layer 1 as eighths instead of a triplet, and manually adjust the second eighth note with the note mover tool to be aligned with the last note of the Layer 2 triplet. Align the eighth note in the LH the same way.
- In m12, I think it would just be easiest to flip the Layer 1 half note on beat 3 downward and flip the Layer 2 eighth notes up. Even if it makes Layer 2 seem a little discontinuous, it looks a lot cleaner and is still very clear to read.
- In m15 LH, you might consider changing the G's in Layer 1 to Bb's in order to preserve the 7th chord feel there. You might also consider doing the same in m21-22 as well. m19 is also another possible place to add the 7th (C) on top, though not as necessary as m15/m21-22 IMO. (Alternatively, for m21, you could change the dyads from Eb-G to G-Bb.)
- On m18 LH beat 3, it's impossible to hold the A as a quarter note and play it staccato as an eighth note at the same time, so I would remove the overlapping A from Layer 1 and just leave it as the quarter note in Layer 2.
- There are thirds under the whistling melody from m17-22. (There are also thirds under the Layer 2 eighth notes in m16, although those may be a bit harder to play.)
- The last eighth note in m21 LH Layer 2 should be a G instead of a C.
- For m26 LH, you can hide the Layer 2 half rest and flip Layer 1 down for beats 1-2.

[Libera]

- To get nitpicky with grammar for a moment: In the tempo marking, since "eighth note" is a symbol, the plural should be made with an apostrophe before the s.

Apostrophes are only used to make plurals for lowercase letters to avoid misreading.  There is no chance of misreading in this case so no apostrophe is used.  That's my understanding of it anyway and I double checked with some style guides to be sure before posting.

[mastersuperfan]

Apostrophes are only used to make plurals for lowercase letters to avoid misreading.  There is no chance of misreading in this case so no apostrophe is used.  That's my understanding of it anyway and I double checked with some style guides to be sure before posting.

I looked into it some more and the convention seems to differ between different style guides/editors. I personally learned that symbols warranted apostrophes when forming plurals.

So I guess it doesn't matter which way it is.

[Code_Name_Geek]

So sorry for the wait on this, online school has completely sapped my motivation to do anything.

- To get nitpicky with grammar for a moment: In the tempo marking, since "eighth note" is a symbol, the plural should be made with an apostrophe before the s.

Apostrophes are only used to make plurals for lowercase letters to avoid misreading.  There is no chance of misreading in this case so no apostrophe is used.  That's my understanding of it anyway and I double checked with some style guides to be sure before posting.

I think I actually used one of Libera's sheets as an example for how to write the tempo marking since I wasn't sure, so it could have gone either way. I'll just leave it the way it is.

- I think the measure distribution would look better with 4 measures per system and the last system ending halfway across the page. However, I know some people prefer not to shorten the last system, so this is up to you.

I didn't do exactly this, but I redid the measure distribution so hopefully it looks better!

- In the second half of m8, you should use the note mover tool to manually move the swung eighth notes in the RH and LH to be aligned with the last note in the LH triplets.
- For m9/13 beat 4, write RH Layer 1 as eighths instead of a triplet, and manually adjust the second eighth note with the note mover tool to be aligned with the last note of the Layer 2 triplet. Align the eighth note in the LH the same way.

Hm, someone else (I think Latios) has suggested that before too, but I'm a bit surprised because I've never seen that style of notating swung eighths and triplets before (and I used to work as a librarian for a big band, so I saw a reasonable amount of swing notation). I'm not completely against since I do see the logic of it, I just kind of want to see an example of it in another arrangement before I decide.

For my side of the debate, here is an arrangement from a Hal Leonard piano book that I have laying around that doesn't do this with the triplets despite being a swing/shuffle rhythm:

Spoiler

[close]

Anyways it does seem to be a popular opinion here so I'm not against changing it if that's what everyone thinks is best.

Everything else is fixed! Thanks for the feedback, and sorry again for the wait.

[mastersuperfan]

So sorry for the wait on this, online school has completely sapped my motivation to do anything.

Likewise... oops.

Looking good! Some more tweaks:

- In m9 and m13 RH, move the staccato above the notehead on beat 1.
- In m9 and m13 RH, flip the tie on beat 2.5 upward.
- In m12 RH, flip the tie on beat 2.5 downward.

In general, I think that the LH chords are a bit too heavy given the low register they're in. You might consider changing most of the chords to only have two notes instead of three, and that might make it sound less muddy. Try it out and let me know what you think.

[Code_Name_Geek]

And I'm back... man I can't wait for winter break.

- In m9 and m13 RH, move the staccato above the notehead on beat 1.
- In m9 and m13 RH, flip the tie on beat 2.5 upward.
- In m12 RH, flip the tie on beat 2.5 downward.

Done.

In general, I think that the LH chords are a bit too heavy given the low register they're in. You might consider changing most of the chords to only have two notes instead of three, and that might make it sound less muddy. Try it out and let me know what you think.

What I did here was change the chords on beats 1+3 to be dyads (including the bass) while keeping the beat 2+4 chords the same since they play in the holes of the bass (also dyads)... if that explanation makes sense. Anyways I think it sounds less heavy now so let me know what you think!

[mastersuperfan]

Looks really good!
- Move the mf in m9 upward so that it's not so close to the LH notes.
- I would still strongly suggest manually aligning the eighth notes in m8/9/13/22/24/26, just because I think they look really confusing as is (m9/13 especially). That said, I know you posted that other example earlier, so you can get a third opinion from the next updater who checks this.

For now, I'll approve this one.

[Latios212]

- I would still strongly suggest manually aligning the eighth notes in m8/9/13/22/24/26, just because I think they look really confusing as is (m9/13 especially). That said, I know you posted that other example earlier, so you can get a third opinion from the next updater who checks this.

I agree with this... not necessarily because it's a practice I've seen in other places but simply because I think it's the least ambiguous way to write it. That said, I think it's fine if you want to keep it although measures 9 and 13 are particularly confusing.

Actually hold that thought - a few note discrepancies for the whistle I'm hearing first:
- The first two melody notes in m. 9/13 sound like F's instead of Bb's.
- I think there's a rest instead of D in m. 10/14 beat 2 melody.
- The last melody note in m. 10 sounds like F, and D for m. 14.
And the countermelody:
- The ascent in m. 9/13 sounds like it starts on D and ascends to D (no C#)
- m. 11 beat 3 half note sounds like C instead of Bb
- The voice from m. 12 resolves to a D on m. 13 beat 1 although I suppose that's fine if you want to leave out

Other stuff:
- The Bn's in m. 19 sounds like Bb and the G# in m. 20 sounds like G in the original. Dn instead of D# in m. 21 as well
- Bass in m. 16 beat 3.5 sounds like G instead of Ab
- Melod notes in m. 24 beat 1 misaligned
- Flip the LH tie in the last measure upwards
- Notehead-centered staccatos?

[Code_Name_Geek]

I agree with this... not necessarily because it's a practice I've seen in other places but simply because I think it's the least ambiguous way to write it. That said, I think it's fine if you want to keep it although measures 9 and 13 are particularly confusing.

Alright, that's logical enough so I suppose there's no harm in doing it that way. These places should be fixed now.

Got most of the note and formatting fixes as well, thank you! (I could have sworn there was a D on those beat 2s, but I listened to it again and you're totally right - I've been hearing that wrong for years lol.)

- The ascent in m. 9/13 sounds like it starts on D and ascends to D (no C#)

This is the only one I was unsure about - is this what you meant by no C#.

Thanks again for the help, and sorry on the wait!

[Latios212]

Yeah, no problem! ^^

This is the only one I was unsure about - is this what you meant by no C#.

Sorry, I can't even read my own feedback sometimes lol. Yes, what you have now is right!

- Bass in m. 16 beat 3.5 sounds like G instead of Ab

Think you missed this one

Last couple of things before I accept:
- I think the staccatos on m. 9/13 beat 1 RH would be better underneath the noteheads
- Would suggest moving the F at the end of m. 10 RH to the right a bit so the notes aren't squashed together

[Code_Name_Geek]

Ok, last edits are done!

[Latios212]

Yay! Let's get this one in

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot