[SWITCH] Paper Mario: The Origami King - "Shroom City" by mastersuperfan

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Paper Mario
Game: Paper Mario: The Origami King
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Shroom City
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mastersuperfan

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[mastersuperfan]

"...Don't you dare say 'I told you so.'"

[Latios212]

This is great! Only a few things to add.
- Flip the slurs upwards in m. 22
- Beginning dynamics in m. 27 and 33 are just a bit far to the right.
- You might want to disconnect beats 3-4 in measures 27, 28, 33, and 34 to better show the downbeat.
- I'd suggest tenutos or something on the first beats of m. 29 and 35, since those notes are sustained in the original.

I also wonder if there's some simpler way to denote the double-time changes on page 3 than those somewhat long tempo indications, but I'm not too familiar with that style so I don't have any specific ideas.

[mastersuperfan]

- Flip the slurs upwards in m. 22
- Beginning dynamics in m. 27 and 33 are just a bit far to the right.
- You might want to disconnect beats 3-4 in measures 27, 28, 33, and 34 to better show the downbeat.

Done.

- I'd suggest tenutos or something on the first beats of m. 29 and 35, since those notes are sustained in the original.

I think I'd rather leave them as is. I feel like adding tenutos would imply more emphasis on notes that shouldn't be particularly emphasized.

I also wonder if there's some simpler way to denote the double-time changes on page 3 than those somewhat long tempo indications, but I'm not too familiar with that style so I don't have any specific ideas.

Yeah, I'm not sure either, but this seemed to be the clearest/least ambiguous way to do it.

Thanks for taking a look!

[Latios212]

Cool, no problem. Looks good to me, I approve

If anyone else has ideas for the double-time section tempo indicators, would be happy to hear them.

[Khunjund]

Wow, I was not expecting that shift at m. 27. I thought I got transported into Conker's Bad Fur Day or something.

For the notation, how about alternating doppio movimento and a tempo?

[Static]

For the notation, how about alternating doppio movimento and a tempo?

I don't think that really makes sense in this context; this is jazz music. Generally speaking, I prefer to write in the idioms of whatever style a piece (or section of a piece) happens to be.

The part at m27 is shifting from swing to double time swing. It should all be written in 4/4 (do not change any of your current note values, just change the time signatures), and you only need to have the "quarter = half" and "half = quarter" markings. I think that's the simplest way to write it in a way that both reflects the type of music it is, and also will allow the most people to easily understand what you mean.

[mastersuperfan]

The part at m27 is shifting from swing to double time swing. It should all be written in 4/4 (do not change any of your current note values, just change the time signatures), and you only need to have the "quarter = half" and "half = quarter" markings. I think that's the simplest way to write it in a way that both reflects the type of music it is, and also will allow the most people to easily understand what you mean.

Updated.

[Static]

• In m2 LH and similar places, I think it would look less cluttered if you replaced some of those 16th notes with staccato 8th notes like this:
  
  Spoiler

  

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• In m8 LH, you might want to consider breaking that 8th note beam in half to keep in line with all of the other 16th note beaming - I personally think it makes it look more consistent, but up to you.
• I do not hear the 16th note on beat 2.5 of m19 or 21 RH.
• The LH in m27-28 and 33-34 sounds like it's just the lower octave, but I'm fine keeping it in octaves for some extra punch.
• For those changing tempo markings, you do not need to include the "quarter/half = 102" thing since the first part "quarter=half/half=quarter" already tells the reader this information. No matter what note you switch to, the pulse will always be 102bpm since that's what you set at the beginning of the piece.
• This really nitpicky but usually in jazz I see dotted quarter notes on beat 1.5/3.5 instead of tied notes like you have in m31 and 37.

[mastersuperfan]

• The LH in m27-28 and 33-34 sounds like it's just the lower octave, but I'm fine keeping it in octaves for some extra punch.

Yeah, that was intentional for that reason.

• For those changing tempo markings, you do not need to include the "quarter/half = 102" thing since the first part "quarter=half/half=quarter" already tells the reader this information. No matter what note you switch to, the pulse will always be 102bpm since that's what you set at the beginning of the piece.

I dunno, I'm not convinced. I'd agree with you if there was a time signature change where a different note value got the beat (i.e. 4/4 to 2/2, or 4/4 to 12/8), but here, I don't think it's completely clear to all potential performers from a glance whether the tempo is being doubled or halved. I might change my mind if other people agree with you, but I think I'd rather be redundant over ambiguous.

All other changes made.

[Static]

I think that makes sense. The rest of the changes look good, so I'll go ahead and accept.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Static.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot