Kricketune54's Halloween Sheet - Kirby Triple Deluxe - Reflected Laughter

Started by Kricketune54, September 29, 2020, 05:05:11 PM

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Kricketune54

So I had only just submitted this sheet last night
Kirby Triple Deluxe - Reflected Laughter

Should I delete the submission topic then and upload the files to the Halloween project folder?

Latios212

Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 29, 2020, 05:05:11 PMShould I delete the submission topic then and upload the files to the Halloween project folder?
Sure, that works!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Kricketune54

Just deleted my Submissions topic for Reflected Laughter


Latios212

Fixed up the swing playback and formatting for ya. Sheet review to come soon~
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Kricketune54


Latios212

This looks really good, nice work! Mostly have a few small things here and there to say, nothing huge.

Main thing: Dynamics! There's variation in how the melody is played in the original and you could reflect that in the sheet too. Here's a suggestion:
1 - f
5 - mf
21 - mp
37 - mf
53 - f
61 - ff

Other details:
- m. 4 LH half note shouldn't have a staccato
- Last RH note of m. 7 should be C instead of D (similar to m. 39)
- For m. 15 and 47 where the LH chord overlaps the RH octaves, I think it would be a little neater to invert the chord down once (i.e. remove the F's from the right hand and put them below the A's in the left hand)
- m. 18/50 LH beat 3 should be an A instead of E
- Any reason why the Am chords in m. 20 are inverted downwards unlike the other places?
- The melody in m. 21-28 is an octave higher in the original and would be perfectly fine with an 8va over what you currently have written.
- Looks like the chords in m. 29-30 should have A on the bottom instead of D (any reason why the ones from m. 21-22 seem to be inverted downwards?)
- I'd suggest writing all the chords in the end section with the octaves on the bottom instead of the sevenths (ex. m. 55 could look like m. 3, an similar for other measures)

Happy to help with these changes because of Notepad, let me know if you want my assistance~
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Kricketune54

Just re uploaded the file to Dropbox, almost all the changes were made with the exception of 21-28.  Notepad can't seem do to a 8va on it's own (having trouble with this on my Bounty Hunter arrangement), so I'm going to have to have you add that in.

Quote from: Latios212 on October 08, 2020, 04:47:53 PM- I'd suggest writing all the chords in the end section with the octaves on the bottom instead of the sevenths (ex. m. 55 could look like m. 3, an similar for other measures)

Hope I hit this the way you wanted!  I went through and made sure the octave is on the bottom for each section.

I didn't put this in the dropbox version, but what do you think about having a double E on m. 68 beat 4 RH to represent the cymbal?



Latios212

Quote from: Kricketune54 on October 08, 2020, 06:50:27 PMI didn't put this in the dropbox version, but what do you think about having a double E on m. 68 beat 4 RH to represent the cymbal?

Oh yes that's great! I like it :)

Made a few final adjustments on the folder in Dropbox, including:
- the above octave at the end
- adding the 8va in m. 21-28
- slightly adjusting positions of 8vas/dynamics to be better aligned with the notes
- also moving the F in m. 15/47 in beat 2 to the LH (you did for beat 4 but not beat 2)

I think that's it from me for this one, so moving this to approved ^^
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Kricketune54


mastersuperfan

Looks really good! Just a few minor touch-ups (let me know if you need help implementing them):
- The beginning of the 8va in m21 should be extended a little more to the left.
- Dynamic in m37 is a little bit too close to the barline.
- For m40 beat 4, since the RH is presumably too high to play the chord like it does in m16/48, I would suggest having the LH play the chord instead of the bass note since having only the bass note feels like it breaks the pattern.
- The beam in m67 RH beats 1-2 should be broken since you don't beam over rests anywhere else.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Kricketune54

Uploaded a new file to reflect all changes... minus the note beaming.

Quote from: mastersuperfan on October 11, 2020, 05:34:28 PM- The beam in m67 RH beats 1-2 should be broken since you don't beam over rests anywhere else.

Notepad unfortunately doesn't seem to let me do this.  No matter what I do the two notes just can't be separated like they're star crossed lovers or something.  I had this same problem in a previous submission, so someone with Finale is going to have to fix that for me. 

I also added a staccato quarter note in m4 to play the part of the cymbal just like in m68.  Figured it was good to keep consistency

Latios212

Just curious, have you tried the / key? I think some shortcuts work for both finale and notepad, but not sure if that's one of them
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Kricketune54

Quote from: Latios212 on October 11, 2020, 07:47:12 PMJust curious, have you tried the / key? I think some shortcuts work for both finale and notepad, but not sure if that's one of them

No I hadn't and it did work!  Thank you I have now made all the changes myself

mastersuperfan

To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of the octave on RH beat 4 in m4 and m68 (I guess it's okay for m68; it feels really out of place to me in m4). You might consider removing one or both of them, but if you want to keep them, that's also fine.

That's all I have to say, so let me know and I'll accept.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

LeviR.star

Quote from: mastersuperfan on October 18, 2020, 09:27:33 PMTo be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of the octave on RH beat 4 in m4 and m68 (I guess it's okay for m68; it feels really out of place to me in m4).

^^ Seconding this. Maybe you're using it as a substitute for the percussion, but I don't think it fits all that well. You're better off leaving it to the LH, imo.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements