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Author Topic: Zeila's Replacements  (Read 1193 times)

mastersuperfan

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Re: Zeila's Replacements
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2020, 07:30:43 PM »

The only G I'm hearing is from another layer/voice that plays G-D-G-D. Listening to it again I hear the middle note as F but in a higher octave. I ended up adding D's to the chords in the RH of measure 45 and G's in measure 46

I admit I'm finding it pretty hard to work out exactly what's going on in bar 45, but what you've written in there just sounds out of place to me compared to in 46-47 where it's fairly consistent.  The general pattern (low high low) with not too large an interval sounds like it should still be going on in 45, if you understand what I mean.  Particularly the F-F-F octave jump in the second half of the bar sounds especially off to me.  Maybe we could get another opinion if necessary.

This is what I hear for m45 (transposed down to be in the same octave as the notes in m46-47):


It's hard for me to hear where the F's come from, let alone the octave jump, so I personally wouldn't recommend that. These notes in m45 that I wrote above come from the same voice that plays what you've written for Layer 2 in m46-47, so I would be consistent here and transcribe the same voice for m45 too.

For the arrangement, I would just write it like the way I put above, except I would turn m45 beat 1.5 (the low G) into a D so that the RH doesn't restrike the LH G right away, and so that Layer 2 sounds more consistent.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2020, 07:32:42 PM by mastersuperfan »
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Zeila

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Re: Zeila's Replacements
« Reply #31 on: September 07, 2020, 03:19:05 PM »

This is what I hear for m45 (transposed down to be in the same octave as the notes in m46-47):


It's hard for me to hear where the F's come from, let alone the octave jump, so I personally wouldn't recommend that. These notes in m45 that I wrote above come from the same voice that plays what you've written for Layer 2 in m46-47, so I would be consistent here and transcribe the same voice for m45 too.

For the arrangement, I would just write it like the way I put above, except I would turn m45 beat 1.5 (the low G) into a D so that the RH doesn't restrike the LH G right away, and so that Layer 2 sounds more consistent.
I guess our ears are just different then since (I thought) I transcribed m45-48 from the same voice, and again I only really hear any G in the second half of m45 from the voice that goes G-D two octaves higher. Since two people think it's off though I'll change it, and it makes sense. I wrote your suggestion for the first two beats of m45, but I kept the F's in the second half instead of D's since that will start the descending pattern that Libera mentioned

Thanks for your input!
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Libera

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Re: Zeila's Replacements
« Reply #32 on: September 07, 2020, 03:57:34 PM »

I guess our ears are just different then since (I thought) I transcribed m45-48 from the same voice, and again I only really hear any G in the second half of m45 from the voice that goes G-D two octaves higher. Since two people think it's off though I'll change it, and it makes sense. I wrote your suggestion for the first two beats of m45, but I kept the F's in the second half instead of D's since that will start the descending pattern that Libera mentioned

Thanks for your input!

That works for me so I'll accept!

Libera

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Re: Zeila's Replacements
« Reply #33 on: October 06, 2020, 10:11:03 PM »

Brinstar

I remember this piece well from playing SSBM back in the day haha, nice sheet generally.

-I'd write the guitar slide thing in bar 4 the same way as in the previous two bars to be more consistent.  I don't think they sound very different personally.
-The last note in bar 41 sounds like an A rather than a G to me.
-I'm not sure about the F in the final chord of 15 (and everywhere else this figure shows up).  It sounds like the only note that changes is the B -> C to me.
-I think it'd be less confusing to write the right hand in bars 47-53 in one layer rather than two.  I'm not sure you gain anything out of writing it in two layers and it looks more cluttered and confusing to read.
-Be careful with your rests in 12/8.  The crotchet rest in bar 8 should be two quavers rests.  Same for bar 62 (and potentially others I've missed).
-It's kind of hard to hear because it's so low, but it sounds like the bass note at the end of bars 91 and 95 is an F rather than a G.
-You could cue in the drums in the first bar, rather than starting on bar 2.  It might be less deceptive that way, but it's not super necessary.
-The way the top line gets hidden in bars 41-42 isn't ideal.  I think it wouldn't be too bad to put the little resolution an octave lower, even if that means some hand crossings.  But I haven't actually tried it out so I'm not sure how awkward it is.
-I think the key signature should be in G major.  It definitely feels more like the tonal centre is G major with some modal stuff or whatever over the top.

Zeila

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Re: Zeila's Replacements
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2020, 11:07:57 PM »

Brinstar

I remember this piece well from playing SSBM back in the day haha, nice sheet generally.
Thanks!

-I'd write the guitar slide thing in bar 4 the same way as in the previous two bars to be more consistent.  I don't think they sound very different personally.
The last one sounds a bit more delayed in my opinion. Maybe someone else can chime in

-The last note in bar 41 sounds like an A rather than a G to me.
-It's kind of hard to hear because it's so low, but it sounds like the bass note at the end of bars 91 and 95 is an F rather than a G.
I don't hear these two. Maybe someone else will feel differently?

-I'm not sure about the F in the final chord of 15 (and everywhere else this figure shows up).  It sounds like the only note that changes is the B -> C to me.
I personally still hear an F in measures 7 and 61, but you're right about 15/69

-You could cue in the drums in the first bar, rather than starting on bar 2.  It might be less deceptive that way, but it's not super necessary.
I'd rather not personally because of spacing

-I think it'd be less confusing to write the right hand in bars 47-53 in one layer rather than two.  I'm not sure you gain anything out of writing it in two layers and it looks more cluttered and confusing to read.
-Be careful with your rests in 12/8.  The crotchet rest in bar 8 should be two quavers rests.  Same for bar 62 (and potentially others I've missed).
-The way the top line gets hidden in bars 41-42 isn't ideal.  I think it wouldn't be too bad to put the little resolution an octave lower, even if that means some hand crossings.  But I haven't actually tried it out so I'm not sure how awkward it is.
-I think the key signature should be in G major.  It definitely feels more like the tonal centre is G major with some modal stuff or whatever over the top.
Done, thanks!
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