[PS1] Final Fantasy IX - "Roses of May" by SlimyWyvern

Started by Zeta, November 19, 2020, 10:02:41 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Final Fantasy IX
Console: PlayStation
Title: Roses of May
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: SlimyWyvern

[attachment deleted by admin]


Khunjund

Hello! Seems like a pretty accurate arrangement to me. Just a few things:
  • I've always seen the title in the plural as "Roses of May". While the Soundtrack CD seems to have it in the singular, the wiki seems to consider plural to be the default as well, but I'm not too sure anymore.
  • You don't need to have a character indication, but it would always be a nice addition. (Just don't take inspiration from Libera :P)
  • I think the A in the anacrusis you assigned to the left hand would be better off in the right, either as an eighth played with the D, or as a separate layer; it's the voice which goes down to E in the first measure, and keeping one voice in the same hand (or at least on the same staff) just makes things clearer. Moreover, the same movement is repeated between measures 4 and 5, where it's much more convenient to play with the right hand, so keeping the notation the same between the two identical measures would be a good thing.
  • In measures 1 and 5, the uppermost voice goes up to G, and I think it would be important to keep this, because it's a fragmented version of the full melody which comes later. If you don't want to have a tenth between this G and the lower E, I think raising the latter by an octave is the lesser evil.
  • I think the mezzo forte in measure 24 gives the impression that it's a sudden change in dynamics, whereas it's more like one musical phrase is ending, and the left-hand arpeggio is leading into the next one. I would instead use a crescendo there, leading into mf at the beginning of measure 25.
  • Since you can't realistically take up fewer than two pages, how about spacing out your measures a bit more and taking up those two pages? I think it would look a lot cleaner than a dense first page, followed by a three-quarters empty second one.

I made a document with all the above changes, if you want to compare. (I really should have made an image with both pages side by side, but I didn't know how to do it, so I apologize for that.)
Please stop making lists using hyphens.

SlimyWyvern

Alright, thanks for the suggestions!

Weird, I've usually seen it as "Rose of May" but you are right that the official name of the track has it as plural.

Sorry if I sound dumb but, what's a character indication? I assume that has something to do with the tempo marking?

I barely even hear it going up to the G myself, but what you said about the melody makes sense. I've made all the other changes you pointed out, so it should look a bit neater now.

Khunjund

A character indication is a word or short phrase placed before the metronome marking (and elsewhere) which gives a brief description of how to interpret the piece's rhythm and mood. This can either be one of the "generic" indications (andante, moderato, allegro, presto, etc.), or a more personalized description (e.g. "Very lively and with great vigour", at the start of Chabrier's Bourrée Fantasque). It doesn't have to be in Italian, but in my opinion, there are two important things to keep in mind:

First, the indication should apply to the entire section of music it encompasses. That is to say, if you have a piece which starts out fast, but has a slower choral-style section later on, you shouldn't simply write "Lively" at the beginning and leave it at that; it would be better to a) give a second character indication at the start of the second section, or b) come up with a broader indication of character that applies to both sections. (This shouldn't be necessary here, but I thought I should mention it anyway.)

Second, the indication should be clear even for someone who knows nothing about the piece (or even the game the piece comes from). I'll bring up an example from this site: someone submitted a sheet with the character indication "Breathe". This was because the main character from the game suffered from asthma attacks, and by the time this piece plays (it was the ending theme), they have subsided. In essence, what the submitter wanted to say was that the piece should be played calmly and freely, but at first I thought it meant to use a lot of rubato (e.g. take "breaths" between phrases), since I didn't have the context. After learning his intentions, I suggested that he write instead "Calmly and freely", or something else to that effect, which is descriptive even if you don't know anything about the game.

For reference, the Piano Collections: Final Fantasy IX version of "Roses of May" has andantino.
Please stop making lists using hyphens.

SlimyWyvern

Thanks for explaining, I've added an andantino expression next to the tempo marking so it has something there. Let me know if there are any other changes I should make.

Maelstrom

-RH m1 b1 - the e-g third here should be a c-e. Also in m5
-mp should be more centered in m1

Why not have the left hand take over the last half of the measure in m32 and m39? It's perfectly capable of doing so and would be easier to play and have less ledger lines.

Otherwise it looks pretty great, nice job.

Latios212

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 24, 2020, 03:55:00 PMWhy not have the left hand take over the last half of the measure in m32 and m39? It's perfectly capable of doing so and would be easier to play and have less ledger lines.
Note sure what you mean here; did you mean RH and m. 40 instead of 39? If so, that makes sense to me

Other stuff in addition to Mael's comments:
- The octave D in m. 4 would be easier played by the left hand.
- Up to you, but the end of m. 24 would be a good place to put a double barline if you want to.

That's all, nice work!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

SlimyWyvern


Maelstrom

Sorry if I wasn't clear. M1 and m5 should look like this:


And yes I meant m40. Counting is hard; thanks latios

Latios212

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 25, 2020, 09:49:15 AMSorry if I wasn't clear. M1 and m5 should look like this:

I thought it was that but with the E an octave lower

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 25, 2020, 09:49:15 AMAnd yes I meant m40. Counting is hard; thanks latios
Haha no worries
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

SlimyWyvern

Quote from: Maelstrom on November 25, 2020, 09:49:15 AMSorry if I wasn't clear. M1 and m5 should look like this:


And yes I meant m40. Counting is hard; thanks latios

Ah, see that was my first thought, but I changed it based on what Khunjund had said about the upper voice going up to G. Should it be C-E then?

Maelstrom

I strongly disagree with Khunjund there. If you want, we can see what Lat things about it.

Latios212

Oh, I see what you were getting at now. The G up top seems pretty faint compared to the notes under it, especially in m. 5.

I was suggesting this based on what stands out to me when listening to the original:
You cannot view this attachment.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Maelstrom

Idk, I'm positive the top note is the E.

The more I listen to it, the more I hear an E in both places, above and below.