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[NES] Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon Darkness - "Gaza Crevasse" by Atcero

Started by Zeta, November 26, 2020, 06:20:48 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon Darkness
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Gaza Crevasse
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Atcero

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Atcero

Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Libera

Sorry about the wait.  Generally speaking the notes look mostly correct but the way that it is presented and laid out on two staves is not the most pianistic or the easiest to understand.

-The left hand in bars 1-8 is not particularly pleasant to look at or to play.  When you combine two parts into one line you need to be careful because you can often end up with something like this where it's not really clear what is going on at all.  For example, the alberti bass style figure that the piece has going on here is totally lost because of how you've combined it with another part.  I think it'd be much better to try and cut this section down to just that single pattern as I'm not sure the other part really adds much other than to just confuse everything (picture below).

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-I don't hear the top A in bar 4.  It sounds to me like that part comes in on beat 1.5.  Even if it does, I'd still drop it because it obscures the melody resolves from G# up a semitone to An.
-The melody A in bar 4 also sounds like it lasts the whole bar rather than just half.  I know it doesn't really affect what the performer will play because of the restrike, but I think it'd still make more sense to write it out that way.
-I might be inclined to break the beam between beats 3 and 3.5 in bar 4 (RH) to make it clear that those are two different parts.
-The melody in bar 7 is slightly different to in bar 3; it should just be a G# on beat 4 rather than An->G#.
-Same comments as above about bar 8.
-Bar 8's left is completely different to in bar 4.  I'd have another look at that bit.
-Beat 3.5 of bar 9 (LH) should also be an E.
-Missing the G# in melody on beat 3 of bar 12.
-I'd recommend not putting the middle layer up the octave (and splitting it into a different layer) in the second half of bar 12.  I'd just keep it under the melody all in layer 2 (for beats 3-4).
-Bars 13-20 have similar issues to the start of the arrangement.  The middle layer moves between the left and right hands in a kind of weird way that's difficult to read off of the page.  I'd either a) Write it all out fully in one layer with cross staffing to show where it moves between the hands (probably still messy) or b) Write it all in the right hand as a second layer by omitting notes or moving their octaves around where appropriate.  The important thing in the middle voice is mostly the second third and fourth notes of each set of four.
-I hear the final LH note of bar 19 as an A (below), and the first note of bar 20 as a crotchet G# (rather than two Es).  I think the second E you wrote in comes from the middle layer, which confused me for ages (and should tell you that writing out things like this by mixing all the parts up is very confusing!).
-I don't see the reason to write out the second half of bar 20's left hand using two layers.  Just write it all in one layer.
-The middle voice moves at the of bar 20 (to a B).
-Don't obscure the melody at the end of bar 19.  Keep it in two layers.
-The whole sheet will easily fit onto one page by messing with the staff size/page size and the distribution (i.e. put four bars on each system).

Hopefully that's useful.  Let me know if you need any help with any of those things.

Atcero

Ok I believe I have it all updated minus the formatting and breaks in the 3.5 beat. Thank you!
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Libera

While I was making formatting edits I edited some other various aspects since I know it's harder for you to make edits after the formatting is finished.  You can see the file here.  Things I changed:

-I edited the second layer in bars 13-20.  Sometimes there were notes missing and so I added these back in.
-I added some staccatos in the left hand of bars 13-20 to represent the shorter notes.
-I added an extra note in the left hand at the very end that was missing.
-I broke the beams in 4/8.

Other than those things it was just formatting changes that you should be able to see by looking at the file.  It now fits on one page, the margins are more even, I widened the staff separation in the last two systems to make the beams fit in more neatly and probably a few other miscellaneous spacing changes.

If this looks ok to you or I can upload these files and I'll approve.

Atcero

Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Latios212

This looks good, thanks both for getting this one tightened up!

Going off of the file Libera provided above:
- I was going to mention the possibility of courtesy naturals for the descending bass notes in m. 2-3 and 6-7 (as well as the Gn in the RH of m. 15), but the key signature is blank so it's fine if you want to forego them.
- We should space out the LH/RH staves in the fourth system, similar to the last.

I replaced the files in the submission with Libera's file + the abovementioned spacing edit and approve!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Libera


Zeta