[DELETED] [GBA] Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version - "Route 123/Opening" by The Vulpine Sax

Started by Zeta, December 23, 2020, 02:24:12 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Route 123/Opening
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: The Vulpine Sax

Kricketune54


Latios212

Hey there, welcome to NSM! :D

Couple logistical things real quick - I've updated your arranger name to "The Vulpine Sax" to match your sheet. And you can edit your submissions through the NSM Panel to reupload new files instead of deleting and creating new submissions.

As I skim, a few observations about the arrangement itself before we talk about formatting or anything:
- There shouldn't be any triplets in the piece. The rhythms you've notated as triplets conform to 4/4 time (for the ones like the beginning of m. 3, as dotted eighth + sixteenth notes).
- The arrangement feels a bit empty in some places due to the lack of activity in the lower ranges of the piano. I would recommend including bass notes instead of the upper 16th note runs in the intro. You may want to try out playing fifths instead of just the bass note on page 2.
- The rhythm for the left hand part for the beginning of the second page is incorrect.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Call Me Cammy

Quote from: Latios212 on December 27, 2020, 01:31:45 PMHey there, welcome to NSM! :D

Couple logistical things real quick - I've updated your arranger name to "The Vulpine Sax" to match your sheet. And you can edit your submissions through the NSM Panel to reupload new files instead of deleting and creating new submissions.

As I skim, a few observations about the arrangement itself before we talk about formatting or anything:
- There shouldn't be any triplets in the piece. The rhythms you've notated as triplets conform to 4/4 time (for the ones like the beginning of m. 3, as dotted eighth + sixteenth notes).
- The arrangement feels a bit empty in some places due to the lack of activity in the lower ranges of the piano. I would recommend including bass notes instead of the upper 16th note runs in the intro. You may want to try out playing fifths instead of just the bass note on page 2.
- The rhythm for the left hand part for the beginning of the second page is incorrect.

Thanks!

I think I fixed the formatting errors. I was still figuring out how to do some of them

I fixed the rhythms, although the right-hand part from measure 15 to 22 is giving me trouble. The part sounds right, but there is probably a better way to notate it that I haven't figured out.


Latios212

Don't worry too much about the formatting just yet - there's a bunch of work to be done on the arrangement which will result in needing to adjust a few things later :)

Some more things:
- Some of the dyads/chords you have right now are inverted. For instance, in the 2-measure intro, the melody is the lower note in each of the fifths you have written - the notes above them should be lowered an octave.
- Along those lines, for the bass in m. 15+ you have the right chords but they're in the wrong inversion (and also triads that low on the staff sound really muddy). m. 15 and similar play an Ab chord and should have Ab on the bottom, and I would suggest writing in Eb to make a fifth. For 16 and similar, the original plays an Fb chord over a Cb bass, so I would suggest writing in Cb with Fb and maybe Ab on top of it.
- Listen carefully to the upper layer in m. 15-22 - it's not always the same, it changes and sometimes doesn't play at all.
- Layers - in places like measure 4 you should show the lower layer rest for the second half of the measure for clarity. The eighth rest in the upper layer should be moved over the staff to stay aligned with the rest of the voice.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 25, 2020, 01:51:06 PMI think this one is known in the OST as Introductions
This too, and the composer is Morikazu Aoki.

If you're having trouble hearing notes, you can try using AudioStretch.

There's quite a few things (the ones I mentioned above are just a few) that will need some work, but you've got the basics down for the most part so I'm willing to help get this one shaped up if you are willing to work on it :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

I'm going to archive this for inactivity.  Feel free to resubmit when you've had an opportunity to go over Latios' feedback.