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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: WarioWare D.I.Y.
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Graphics Editor
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Nine Lives

[NineLives]

Source:

[Static]

First of all, here's a non-extended version:

• Because the melody is usually in a pretty high register, I think you can afford to move many of those LH chords up an octave as they are in the original. The piece is at a moderate tempo, so it isn't really that demanding to play. (m27-34 can stay the same of course)
• Most of those previously mentioned offbeat chords should have 3 notes instead of 2. Here's what I have transcribed for the first few bars to give you a head start (note some of these chords are also a bit different than the ones you have):
  
  Spoiler

  
  If you need more help with this part, let me know

  [close]
• m3-4: I would tie the melody over at least to beat 1 of m4, since it's much more prominent/important than the background whistle part.
• The Ens in m1, 3, 5, 27, 29, and 31 should all be Fbs (they're the b9 of Eb7b9 chords).
• m13 LH beat 4 should also be Fb because it's a Dbm chord.
• m18, 44 RH: you can beam across the 2nd and 3rd notes here. That descending line in these measures would be cool to add as well, if you can find a way to.
• If you want to add those downbeat chords in m19-25, 45-51, I think they would sound better as a 2nd layer in the RH. The LH would probably be better off it just stayed with the bass-chord rhythm used in the beginning for most of this piece, since that's really the part that drives this entire piece forward, at least in my opinion.
• Missing developer and copyright year.

[NineLives]

All right, so I feel I got most of the changes, you'll have to correct me on chords though if they're wrong.

• If you want to add those downbeat chords in m19-25, 45-51, I think they would sound better as a 2nd layer in the RH. The LH would probably be better off it just stayed with the bass-chord rhythm used in the beginning for most of this piece, since that's really the part that drives this entire piece forward, at least in my opinion.

For this, I did the first downbeats like normal and put the second downbeats on 2.5 for the most part in the first layer. I thought it'd be easier to play and sound better that way. Again, if  the chords sound off, you can correct me on them.

[Static]

Looks pretty good, I like your new accompaniment in m19-25. I went over this piece again in more detail and I've found some other stuff.

For your convenience, here's a file for you with all the changes below, but feel free to make any other changes.

• For the LH chords, this is what I'm hearing:
  
  • m1 beat 4: My mistake here, it should be Db-Fb-G.
  • m5 beat 4: Db-Fb-G
  • m7: I would actually move the C and Db down an octave here since they get in the way of the RH.
  • m11 beat 2: Bb-Db-F
  • m12 beat 4: Should be Ebb in both hands instead of D (chromatically descending line).
  • m13 beat 2: Ab-Db (you could add F underneath if you want)
  • m13 beat 4: G-Db-Fb
  • m14 beat 2: Bb-Eb (you could add G underneath if you want)
  • m15 beat 2: C-F (you could add An underneath if you want)
  • m15 beat 4: Bn-Dn (you could add an F underneath if you want)
  • m16 beat 2: Bb-Eb (you could add a G underneath if you want)
  • m16 beat 4: An-C (you could add an Eb underneath if you want)
  • m17 beat 2: Ab-Db (you could add an F underneath if you want)
  • m17 beat 4: G-Db (you could add a Bb in between if you want)
  • The points below will be for the RH harmonies in m19-25:
  • m19 beat 1: Ab-C instead of Bb-Db
  • m19 beat 2.5: Eb-G
  • m20 beat 1: G-Bb-C
  • m20 beat 2.5: You could add an Eb as well if you want.
  • m21 beat 1: F-Ab
  • m21 beat 4.5: G-Bb (you could keep the Eb too if you want)
  • m22 beats 2-3: I hear an Fm7 chord underneath, so maybe Ab-C instead of Ab-Bb would be better as the lower voice.
  • m23 beat 1: Ab-Cb-Dn
  • m23 beat 2.5: Db-Fb-Ab
  • m24 beat 1: G-Bb-C
  • m24 beat 2.5: You could also add an Eb here if you want.
  • m25 beat 1: Ab-Db-Eb
  • m25 beat 3: Db-Fb-G
  • For m25, consider putting thechords on beats 2 and 4 just for this measure. I think it might sound cool since there's continuous 8th notes and transition better into m27. Up to you though.
  • m26 beat 1: Ab-G-Bb (this is a bit of a stretch, a 9th interval; I think this one definitely possible to play with large hands, or by rolling the chord slightly).
  • The chords in m27-34 should match what I said for m1-8.
  • The chords in m45-52 should match what I said for m19-26.
• m4 RH: I hear that whistle voice (starting on beat 2) as Bb-F-Bn-Ab-Dn
• m6 LH: The bass notes on beats 1-2 should be C instead of Db.
• m7 RH: I hear the lower voice as Bb-Bb-C-Db-Eb-C-Db-C. I would also suggest tying the last 8th note over like in m3-4.
• m9 RH: Beat 2.5 should be An instead of Ab.
• m9 LH Layer 2: I hear C-Bb instead of Db-C, and the Bb should be tied to m10.
• m11 RH: Beat 2.5 should be F# instead of F.
• m11 RH: I hear the lower voice (starting at beat 2.5) as En-En-Fn-Gn-Ab.
• m11 RH: I would suggest tying the last 8th note over into a 2nd Layer in m12 so that the melody isn't cut off.
• m12 LH: I think this might sound better if you continued the descending bass octaves into beat 1 of this measure (so just a Db octave) instead of switching immediately to a chord.
• m13 RH: Beat 2.5 should be Fb-Bb instead of Eb-Bb.
• m15 LH: Beat 1 should be a Dn in the bass instead of Bb.
• m15 RH: The Cbs should actually be Bn (G7 chord).
• m17 LH beat 3: Might be better just to write this as a staccato quarter.
• m18-19: The inner mastersuperfan in me is telling you to align those dynamics horizontally.
• m21 RH: Beat 2.5 in the melody should be Fb instead of En (Eb7b9 chord).
• m23 RH: Beat 1.5 should be Dn instead of Db.
• m23 LH: Should be Dn-Dn-Db-Db.
• m24 LH: Beats 1-2 should be C instead of Bb.
• m26 RH: Beat 2 should be Ab instead of Bb.
• What I said above for m6-7 also applies to m32-33.
• Because the LH chords in m27-34 have to be lower, I think it might be better to perhaps invert them or remove some of the notes to make them sound less muddy in that register. When removing notes from chords, I usually prefer to remove the 5th or root (usually the least important notes in a chord because the bass has them). The 3rd (and 7th if applicable) are usually notes I prefer to keep. Also keep an eye for what notes are played in the RH on beats 2/4; avoiding octave doubling in the mid-low register will also help keep everything sounding smooth. I'd recommend experimenting with different ways to voice the chords in that section rather than just transposing m1-8 down an octave. The file I linked above has how I'd personally write it.
• m30 RH: I hear that whistle voice (starting on beat 2) as Bb-F-Bn-Ab-Dn (just like m4) - In addition, you could move this up an octave like in the original.
• m34 RH: You could move beats 2-3 up an octave as well (just the whistle notes).
• m35 RH Layer 1: Beat 2.5 should be An.
• m35 RH Layer 2: should be G-G-G-G-Bb, with the Bb tied to m36.
• m36-43 RH should be written exactly like m10-17, just an octave lower.
• m35 LH: Beat 2 should be C instead of Db.
• m38 LH: Beat 4-4.5 should be Ebbs instead of Dns (chromatically descending).
• m39 LH: Beat 4 should be Fb instead of Eb.
• m40 LH: Beat 3.5 should be Ab instead of G.
• m41 LH: Beats 1-1.5 should be Dns instead of Ebs.
• What I said above for m19-26 also applies to m45-52.
• For the copyright, we usually just go by the first year, so it would just be 2009 in this case.
• You could move the systems on pages 2-3 down a bit since there's more space on the bottom of those pages than on the top (the slur on top of page 2 in particular seems a bit close to the title). Actually, the systems on page 1 could also probably be moved down a tad to give the composer/arranger text some more breathing room.

Once you've reviewed all this feedback, I have a few small arranging suggestions:

• There's an additonal voice that appears in m18 and 44 that might work in the arrangement. Maybe try adding it in some way.
• Consider adding in the G-Ab piano figure on beats 1.5-2 of m35-37. It's right in the rest of the RH's range so it would fit pretty well. I'd probably write it as Layer 2 in all three of those measures.
• Another small piano figure appears in m39 on beats 3.5-4, I would probably add that too.
• The LH note lengths in m35-43 seem a bit longer/shorter compared how the original bassline sounds.

And I guess my final point is about the title. I'm not familiar with the game, but it looks like there are multiple Graphics Editor tracks for the various tools. Is there a way to make this track more clear? I'm assuming know more about the game than me, so I'll leave that to your judgement...

[NineLives]

• Consider adding in the G-Ab piano figure on beats 1.5-2 of m35-37. It's right in the rest of the RH's range so it would fit pretty well. I'd probably write it as Layer 2 in all three of those measures.
• Another small piano figure appears in m39 on beats 3.5-4, I would probably add that too.

Having the figure for measures 35-37, to me, sounds a bit off in the sheet. Maybe because the figure goes fully through to count 2.5 from what I'm listening to in the source, so it sounds incomplete with just the two eighths, but then, if I add the note on 2.5, then it overshadows the melody a bit, so it sounds slightly cluttered either way, therefore I think I'd rather not have it for those measures. On measure 39 though, it sounds more natural, at least in the way I was able to I write it in. so I'm willing to keep that figure in.

• The LH note lengths in m35-43 seem a bit longer/shorter compared how the original bassline sounds.

Mkay, so I edited it a bit to try and match it up more with the right hand. Maybe it sounds a little better? You can judge me on that.

And I guess my final point is about the title. I'm not familiar with the game, but it looks like there are multiple Graphics Editor tracks for the various tools. Is there a way to make this track more clear? I'm assuming know more about the game than me, so I'll leave that to your judgement...

I suppose I can switch it to "Graphics Editor (Main Tools)," "Graphics Editor (Main Theme)" or something along those lines. There are only two themes for the section this tune plays in and this is the default one. The other one's just for when you select and use the stamp and shape tools.

[Static]

I suppose I can switch it to "Graphics Editor (Main Tools)," "Graphics Editor (Main Theme)" or something along those lines. There are only two themes for the section this tune plays in and this is the default one. The other one's just for when you select and use the stamp and shape tools.

I think just "Graphics Editor" works then. The other stuff you mentioned sounds good as well, so I'm left with no choice but to... approve. Nice sheet

[Static]

Oh hey sorry, one last thing: for m23, I was wrong, it should be Ab-C-D (it's a D7b5 chord) - same applies to m49 but it looks correct there already.

[NineLives]

Oh hey sorry, one last thing: for m23, I was wrong, it should be Ab-C-D (it's a D7b5 chord) - same applies to m49 but it looks correct there already.

It's all right. I got it!

[Latios212]

Hey, Takeru Kanazaki! I've always sound the overlap between Paper Mario/WarioWare/etc. and Fire Emblem via Intelligent Systems to be quite interesting...

- I would recommend aligning the staccatos with the stems in m. 9, 35, and 39 - see this topic for how to change that setting
- LH chord in m. 11 beat 4 doesn't sound right - sounds like C to me (G-C-E ascending)
- The chord in m. 26 sounds a tad empty... maybe we could add in the third/fifth (C/Eb) too? That wouldn't make it really any more difficult to play since this is already a bit of a stretch. Same for the last measure.
- I think the Fn in the right hand of m. 3 and 29 beat 4 would be better written as a G instead. The Fn clashes quite a bit with the Fb in the chord in these places.
- Similarly I think the C in m. 6 and 32 RH sounds odd against the Bn in the chord, so I would suggest writing it as a Dn instead.
- m. 2/5/28/32 beat 2 I think the RH should play an Eb as the lower note instead of C.

[NineLives]

All right. The changes have been made. The articulations seemed to already have been centered with the stems on my program, so I don't know if it was loaded differently on your end or not.

[Static]

- LH chord in m. 11 beat 4 doesn't sound right - sounds like C to me (G-C-E ascending)

Watch out, that's E natural, not Eb there

[NineLives]

Watch out, that's E natural, not Eb there

Oh. Sorry! I got it!

[Latios212]

All right. The changes have been made. The articulations seemed to already have been centered with the stems on my program, so I don't know if it was loaded differently on your end or not.

Oops! Sorry, I meant to say that they would be better off centered on the noteheads, not the stems.

- Similarly I think the C in m. 6 and 32 RH sounds odd against the Bn in the chord, so I would suggest writing it as a Dn instead.

Looks like you wrote Bn instead of Dn? That fits too harmonically but I think writing in Dn to make a third interval works a bit better.

[Static]

Sorry I keep popping in and out of here lol, but for that specific spot I actually do hear a C in the RH in the lower voice there. It sounds less clash-y in the original because that voice is softer than the others.