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[N64] Harvest Moon 64 - "Title Theme" by Code_Name_Geek

Started by Zeta, February 18, 2021, 09:27:37 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons
Game: Harvest Moon 64
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Title Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek

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Libera

Again, sorry for the wait!

-The bassline should end with Bb -> C in every bar.
-Every F chord (so every four bars) I hear it as just open F-C, so I'd suggest changing the A's to C's or dropping them.
-I'd bring the first layer rest down a little in bars 15/19 etc. since it makes that first triplet bracket a bit oddly high.
-I think you need to mess with the ties in bar 20 a little more to keep them away from the first layer notes.
-Grace note in bar 21 is touching/too close to the second layer notes.
-I'd notate the dyad in 29 in a separate layer like you do elsewhere, I think it could be a little confusing for the reader to distinguish the melody there.
-The RH of bar 37 is very unplayable.  Is there any way you could rewrite that section to avoid the immense awkwardness of that phrase?
-The rhythm in the second half of bar 39 is very confusing to read.  Working out how the last two notes interact with one another is pretty tricky, and the way it's written looks like they play together (which they shouldn't).  Maybe you could simplify that rhythm there or write in a clearer way?
-In bars 41-48 another higher voice comes in over the top that I think is a bit more interesting, particularly in bars 43-44.  Have you considered including it?  Perhaps instead of the lower line?  Or maybe you tried it out already and it didn't work well.
-It might be nice to see if you can get a pedal F at the bottom of bars 49-56 like in the original, rather than the bass note changing.  I think it should still be doable with sost. pedal, or just normal pedalling.
-The dynamics could generally be better centred vertically and horizontally.  Have a look through them again to make sure the positions look nice.

Hope that helps!  Let me know if you need me to elaborate further on any of those points/give more advice, I know I've left you to figure out a few things on your own with that feedback.

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on March 12, 2021, 12:16:56 PM-The bassline should end with Bb -> C in every bar.
-Every F chord (so every four bars) I hear it as just open F-C, so I'd suggest changing the A's to C's or dropping them.
-I'd bring the first layer rest down a little in bars 15/19 etc. since it makes that first triplet bracket a bit oddly high.
-I think you need to mess with the ties in bar 20 a little more to keep them away from the first layer notes.
-Grace note in bar 21 is touching/too close to the second layer notes.
-I'd notate the dyad in 29 in a separate layer like you do elsewhere, I think it could be a little confusing for the reader to distinguish the melody there.
All done!

Quote from: Libera on March 12, 2021, 12:16:56 PM-The RH of bar 37 is very unplayable.  Is there any way you could rewrite that section to avoid the immense awkwardness of that phrase?
This is the one thing I couldn't figure out how to fix... I might play around with this some more but any suggestions would be welcome.

Quote from: Libera on March 12, 2021, 12:16:56 PM-The rhythm in the second half of bar 39 is very confusing to read.  Working out how the last two notes interact with one another is pretty tricky, and the way it's written looks like they play together (which they shouldn't).  Maybe you could simplify that rhythm there or write in a clearer way?
Simplified.

Quote from: Libera on March 12, 2021, 12:16:56 PM-In bars 41-48 another higher voice comes in over the top that I think is a bit more interesting, particularly in bars 43-44.  Have you considered including it?  Perhaps instead of the lower line?  Or maybe you tried it out already and it didn't work well.
I added the higher voice for the first 4 bars, but didn't hear anything significant in the second 4 bars so I left it the same. (Feel free to let me know if I missed something there though.)

Quote from: Libera on March 12, 2021, 12:16:56 PM-It might be nice to see if you can get a pedal F at the bottom of bars 49-56 like in the original, rather than the bass note changing.  I think it should still be doable with sost. pedal, or just normal pedalling.
-The dynamics could generally be better centred vertically and horizontally.  Have a look through them again to make sure the positions look nice.
Also fixed.

Thanks for the detailed feedback!

Libera

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 20, 2021, 10:02:36 PMI added the higher voice for the first 4 bars, but didn't hear anything significant in the second 4 bars so I left it the same. (Feel free to let me know if I missed something there though.)

You can add in the lower part in bar 44 as well since it has the same rhythm, like this:

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Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 20, 2021, 10:02:36 PMThis is the one thing I couldn't figure out how to fix... I might play around with this some more but any suggestions would be welcome.

Having another look at this, I think the best option may just be to cut the triplet on beat 1.  I don't think it will change that much sound-wise but it'll be massively more playable that way.



The rest of the changes look good to me, nice work.

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on March 22, 2021, 03:30:45 PMYou can add in the lower part in bar 44 as well since it has the same rhythm, like this:

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Having another look at this, I think the best option may just be to cut the triplet on beat 1.  I don't think it will change that much sound-wise but it'll be massively more playable that way.



The rest of the changes look good to me, nice work.
Ack, sorry it took so long to get this done. I changed the triplet to a quarter note which should be fine, and added the other voice too.

Libera

Cool.  Some (hopefully) final small things:

-Be careful with the positioning of the grace in 17.  It needs to be brought to the right more.
-It's probably better to hide the second layer rest in bar 39 since you've now combined that part into the first layer there.
-It would probably be better to change the bottom margin to 0.5 like the top and right margin.

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Libera on April 07, 2021, 04:39:26 AMCool.  Some (hopefully) final small things:

-Be careful with the positioning of the grace in 17.  It needs to be brought to the right more.
-It's probably better to hide the second layer rest in bar 39 since you've now combined that part into the first layer there.
-It would probably be better to change the bottom margin to 0.5 like the top and right margin.
Done! Sorry that took so long, I got swamped with end-of-semester stuff...

The only question I had was for bar 39: should I flip the stems in the second half of the measure (at least the second two of the quarter note triplet) or leave as is?

Libera

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on April 24, 2021, 04:47:57 PMDone! Sorry that took so long, I got swamped with end-of-semester stuff...

No worries, it happens to everyone.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on April 24, 2021, 04:47:57 PMThe only question I had was for bar 39: should I flip the stems in the second half of the measure (at least the second two of the quarter note triplet) or leave as is?

I think they're better as they are now.  Clearly the first one should be stay as-is, and then I think it's more consistent to keep the Bbs flipped upwards, and we have freedom to choose up or down for the middle staff line.

Looks good now, so I'll approve.

Latios212

Looks good! A few things before we finish up:

One overall thing - I hear the melody (some wind instrument?) play an F on beat 1 of the figure in m. 5, 9, 25, 29, 41, 45, 49, 53. Did you omit it intentionally because of other layers or were you going for another layer or something else?

- I hear a C on beat 2.5 of the recurring bass pattern. Was omitting this intentional?
- I think the melody restrikes on m. 24 beat 4 instead of holding over the F?
- Tie directions - would recommend flipping them normally in m. 29-32 since there isn't any risk of the two layers conflicting (they don't play above/below one another simultaneously)
- I don't hear the grace note in m. 37?
- Misaligned quarter note in lower layer in m. 37
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Latios212 on May 11, 2021, 03:16:11 PMOne overall thing - I hear the melody (some wind instrument?) play an F on beat 1 of the figure in m. 5, 9, 25, 29, 41, 45, 49, 53. Did you omit it intentionally because of other layers or were you going for another layer or something else?
For here, which octave do you hear the F in? I'm possibly hearing something in the lower octave but it's hard to tell with all the instruments. Just wanted to check that's the same note you're talking about!

Quote from: Latios212 on May 11, 2021, 03:16:11 PM- I hear a C on beat 2.5 of the recurring bass pattern. Was omitting this intentional?
I do hear the C (eventually, after listening very carefully lol), but it seems to be more of a ghost note to me than an actual note? It's a lot quieter than the other notes at least. I don't know if there's a good way to notate/play that on piano, so I just added it as a regular note for now. Let me know if there's a better way to do that or this is alright.

Quote from: Latios212 on May 11, 2021, 03:16:11 PM- I think the melody restrikes on m. 24 beat 4 instead of holding over the F?
- Tie directions - would recommend flipping them normally in m. 29-32 since there isn't any risk of the two layers conflicting (they don't play above/below one another simultaneously)
- I don't hear the grace note in m. 37?
- Misaligned quarter note in lower layer in m. 37
These are all fixed now. You're totally right about that grace note, I must have copied over another measure at some point and forgotten to take that out.

Thanks!

Latios212

You're welcome! Looking at the couple of things you mentioned...

Quote from: Latios212 on May 11, 2021, 03:16:11 PMOne overall thing - I hear the melody (some wind instrument?) play an F on beat 1 of the figure in m. 5, 9, 25, 29, 41, 45, 49, 53. Did you omit it intentionally because of other layers or were you going for another layer or something else?
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on May 17, 2021, 09:01:27 PMFor here, which octave do you hear the F in? I'm possibly hearing something in the lower octave but it's hard to tell with all the instruments. Just wanted to check that's the same note you're talking about!
I could also be a bit confused due to the layers, but I think I hear the melody ascending from the F like this (the whole phrase possibly lowered an octave from where it is in the original)
You cannot view this attachment.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on May 17, 2021, 09:01:27 PMI do hear the C (eventually, after listening very carefully lol), but it seems to be more of a ghost note to me than an actual note? It's a lot quieter than the other notes at least. I don't know if there's a good way to notate/play that on piano, so I just added it as a regular note for now. Let me know if there's a better way to do that or this is alright.
Yeah, I don't think ghost notes really work nicely on piano. That said, I think it's fine to just include as you have it now (since I hear it pretty clearly...).
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on May 17, 2021, 09:01:27 PMI do hear the C (eventually, after listening very carefully lol), but it seems to be more of a ghost note to me than an actual note? It's a lot quieter than the other notes at least. I don't know if there's a good way to notate/play that on piano, so I just added it as a regular note for now. Let me know if there's a better way to do that or this is alright.

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2021, 03:25:57 PMYeah, I don't think ghost notes really work nicely on piano. That said, I think it's fine to just include as you have it now (since I hear it pretty clearly...).

Firstly, I'm pretty sure these notes are Fs rather than a Cs.  Maybe putting it up the octave helps to hear this.  Secondly, although it's quieter I don't think these are ghost notes.  Thirdly, I do actually think ghost notes can be implemented on piano pretty well and my usually go-to is to write them in as low tonics for whatever chord is being played and it usually sounds good.  So even if these were ghost notes I think my suggestion wouldn't change: to write them in as low Fs.

Latios212

Ah yeah, it's a bit clearer when I raise it an octave. F's on beat 2.5 sound good to me, I think I was more "expecting" to hear C's there :)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Code_Name_Geek

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2021, 03:25:57 PMYou're welcome! Looking at the couple of things you mentioned...
I could also be a bit confused due to the layers, but I think I hear the melody ascending from the F like this (the whole phrase possibly lowered an octave from where it is in the original)
I think you're right about this - I'm hearing it in the piano especially - so I went ahead and changed all those spots. I also made a slight modification in m. 29 because I realized it was impossible to hold the second layer (formerly F-C) under the melody, so I just combined it into beat 1 of the melody.

Quote from: Libera on May 18, 2021, 03:40:12 PMFirstly, I'm pretty sure these notes are Fs rather than a Cs.  Maybe putting it up the octave helps to hear this.  Secondly, although it's quieter I don't think these are ghost notes.  Thirdly, I do actually think ghost notes can be implemented on piano pretty well and my usually go-to is to write them in as low tonics for whatever chord is being played and it usually sounds good.  So even if these were ghost notes I think my suggestion wouldn't change: to write them in as low Fs.
The Cs sounded a bit off in a way I couldn't put my finger on, but the Fs sound better. Got those, thanks!

Other than that, I fixed a few formatting issues caused by the modified bassline.