[SW] Xenoblade Chronicles 2 - "Friendship" by Latios212

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Xeno
Game: Xenoblade Chronicles 2
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Friendship
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212

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[attachment deleted by admin]

[Latios212]

The voice in m. 5 that parallels the one in m. 1 - I didn't have any good ideas for incorporating it (and honestly didn't even notice it at first - the few voices I've written in sound more prominent to me) but let me know if anyone else does.

[Libera]

Nice piece, nice arrangement.  There's a fair bit of feedback below but it's all mostly just details. 

The voice in m. 5 that parallels the one in m. 1 - I didn't have any good ideas for incorporating it (and honestly didn't even notice it at first - the few voices I've written in sound more prominent to me) but let me know if anyone else does.

So yeah, bar 5.  I really think that the melody should be included here (because that's what this omitted voice is).  While the piano may be higher in mix (perhaps in volume and pitch) it's just four repeated chords that are serving to accompany the repeat of the melodic line from bar 2.  I also think that by omitting this melody the resolution into bar 6 is greatly diminished (we get a static line that goes chord -> exactly the same chord as opposed to the melody which soars up to the top D).

But you asked for a solution, not for philosophy, so I spent a while coming up with one.  This is my suggestion:

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You could also drop either the D or E in those second layer chords if you think it sounds too dense, but I actually think this sounds great, personally.  You still get the effect of those repeated chords whilst keeping the melody and the resolution into bar 6.  You might also want to rewrite the offbeat Ds into layer 2 in the right hand, but maybe the finger substitution would be fun?  Either way is fine really.

Anyway... other stuff:

-This isn't super important but I think the tempo marking would look better if it was positioned normally horizontally but higher up so it's above the 8va.
-Any reason for a cresc. rather than a hairpin in bar 5?  I think hairpins are generally clearer so you should use them when possible.
-You could put in another high A for bar 4 if you wanted.  I don't mind really.
-I'm not actually sure I hear the left hand D on beat 4.5 of bar 5 (although this point doesn't matter at all if you take my suggestion above...)
-I think there's a lower E on beat 4.5 of bar 6 in the left hand.
-In addition to my previous point about the resolution into bar 6, I think the chord sounds kind of off to me.  I think it's because it's missing a G from the strings in the original, so maybe consider adding that in.
-The chord in bar 7 is actually completely measured, so I don't think it needs a fermata on it.
-The pair of triplets in 28 should be a sextuplet (with the beam still broken in the middle like it is here), right?  That was my understanding of the correct notation here, because we're in 4/4.
-I think the little guy at the end of 29 is actually demi triplets, like this:

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Although honestly I think you could get away with graces here, but your choice.
-There's an extra A in the trumpet solo in bar 30, like this:

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Honestly this trumpet solo is so great it made me go and get my trumpet and butcher it horribly; good stuff.  I should really practice more haha.
-Rolls on the notes in bar 34?
-It feels weird to me to start with the guitar on beat 2 of bar 42 and then drop to the piano on beat 3.  I think it'd make more sense to play the A -> B from the guitar on beat 3 and then continue with the piano on beat 3.5.  At least, I think that's the most natural way to hear the combination of those two lines.  You could even put the E below if you really think it's important.
-Sounds more like an A at the top of the chord in bar 43 beat 1 to me, in the guitar and piano.
-I think the piano plays both a G and an A on beat 2 of bar 44, so, while it's not really wrong what you're written, I think it might make more sense to have the A instead so that those sets of four all match each other.
-There's also some additional harmony that you could include if you wanted to in the run in 44, but I actually think sticking to the single run is better like you have it.
-I think there's an E on beat 2.5 of bar 11 (LH) like in 19.
-Bring off the left hand D on beat 3 of bar 12 like in 15?
-I hear another left hand B on beat 2.5 of bar 14.  Same for bar 22.  Same for 40 I think?  Not as sure for this one.
-None of the extra harmony on beat 4 of bar 15?
-In comparison to the previous point, I think that the chord you've written in for beat 3 of bar 16 is rather more heavy than it is in original, which is more of a light resolution.  Does it really need to double the tonic and the fifth?
-Missing a C on beat 3.5 of bar 23?  Could be in the left or the right hand.
-I think it'd be nice to include the whole of the arpeggio in bar 24, finishing on beat 3.  Any reason that you didn't?
-There's something kind of funny about the bass going on in 25-33 with regards to octaves but I think what you have keeps everything consistent so I'm just going to leave it.
-The third note of the right hand in bar 32 should be a D I think (which matches the rest of the ascending pattern as well).
-The chord in bar 32 is missing an A I think, but it might be kind of awkward to play so maybe you want to leave it out.  I don't mind.
-You could write the A in for the piano part in beat 2.75 of bar 35 like you did for bar 38.  Same for 39.
-I think you should put the B -> C semiquavers at the end of bar 38 down the octave.  I think here there's really no way to not confuse this for the melody and they're actually resolving up to the D which is now an octave below.

[Latios212]

Nice piece, nice arrangement.  There's a fair bit of feedback below but it's all mostly just details. 

Thanks! Yeah a lot of good stuff here, I really appreciate the careful look. Lots of details to iron out.

So yeah, bar 5.  I really think that the melody should be included here (because that's what this omitted voice is).  While the piano may be higher in mix (perhaps in volume and pitch) it's just four repeated chords that are serving to accompany the repeat of the melodic line from bar 2.  I also think that by omitting this melody the resolution into bar 6 is greatly diminished (we get a static line that goes chord -> exactly the same chord as opposed to the melody which soars up to the top D).

Since you mentioned it a while back I've come to appreciate the importance of reiterating this melody when listening every now and then. I really like your suggestion which is much better than crushing the melody between the two voices on the lower staff - the melody sounds good up there and the piano chords sound find inverted. Definitely like how it resolves to the upper D in the chord in m. 6, too. I've written it as you have (keeping the offbeat D's in the left hand) and also split m. 6 RH into two layers.

I'll reply inline for the rest of these since most of them are rather small and to keep the size of this post down...

Anyway... other stuff:

-This isn't super important but I think the tempo marking would look better if it was positioned normally horizontally but higher up so it's above the 8va. Got it
-Any reason for a cresc. rather than a hairpin in bar 5?  I think hairpins are generally clearer so you should use them when possible. I think I did that originally because it wouldn't line up with the mf on a vertical level. Not a problem anymore though as I've poked things around a bit.
-You could put in another high A for bar 4 if you wanted.  I don't mind really. Eh, probably not. The focus is definitely on the other notes by this point.
-I'm not actually sure I hear the left hand D on beat 4.5 of bar 5 (although this point doesn't matter at all if you take my suggestion above...) I think it may still be there, I left it in
-I think there's a lower E on beat 4.5 of bar 6 in the left hand. Yup
-In addition to my previous point about the resolution into bar 6, I think the chord sounds kind of off to me.  I think it's because it's missing a G from the strings in the original, so maybe consider adding that in. Yup
-The chord in bar 7 is actually completely measured, so I don't think it needs a fermata on it. I think I originally wrote that in for effect, though given what this section looks like the performer will probably do that if they feel like anyway, so yeah I took it out
-The pair of triplets in 28 should be a sextuplet (with the beam still broken in the middle like it is here), right?  That was my understanding of the correct notation here, because we're in 4/4. Yeah I think so
-I think the little guy at the end of 29 is actually demi triplets, like this:

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Although honestly I think you could get away with graces here, but your choice. Ah, yeah I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off when I was playing it. Thanks, this looks right. I wrote the chord as a quarter tied to dotted eighth instead. Didn't want to use grace notes since it very much sounds like part of the melody.
-There's an extra A in the trumpet solo in bar 30, like this:

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Yup
-Rolls on the notes in bar 34? Just beat 2, I think
-It feels weird to me to start with the guitar on beat 2 of bar 42 and then drop to the piano on beat 3.  I think it'd make more sense to play the A -> B from the guitar on beat 3 and then continue with the piano on beat 3.5.  At least, I think that's the most natural way to hear the combination of those two lines.  You could even put the E below if you really think it's important. Ah yeah, I should have included that. I've written in both parts using an additional layer.
-Sounds more like an A at the top of the chord in bar 43 beat 1 to me, in the guitar and piano. I had to do a double take here since this also felt weird to me when I was writing it out originally. The piano plays the B that I wrote in, but the guitar plays a quick A-B-A so these parts overlap a little oddly. That said, I think just writing in the guitar part with an A in the melody sounds good since we've got a D chord here. I've moved the C to the left hand to give the right hand an easier time playing the grace notes.
-I think the piano plays both a G and an A on beat 2 of bar 44, so, while it's not really wrong what you're written, I think it might make more sense to have the A instead so that those sets of four all match each other. The piano plays a G, and the guitar plays the A. I'll keep both and adjust the way the parts are written slightly.
-There's also some additional harmony that you could include if you wanted to in the run in 44, but I actually think sticking to the single run is better like you have it. Yeah, I think just the run is good.
-I think there's an E on beat 2.5 of bar 11 (LH) like in 19. It's kinda quiet, but I can include it
-Bring off the left hand D on beat 3 of bar 12 like in 15? Yup
-I hear another left hand B on beat 2.5 of bar 14.  Same for bar 22.  Same for 40 I think?  Not as sure for this one. Ah yeah. I'll leave 40 as is since I already have a B on beat 2 and the RH is playing stuff on beat 2.5.
-None of the extra harmony on beat 4 of bar 15? No space to fit anything between the LH and RH parts, and I wanted to keep the melody on top throughout this part (actually the entire piece pretty much). The D7b9 gets several other chances to shine
-In comparison to the previous point, I think that the chord you've written in for beat 3 of bar 16 is rather more heavy than it is in original, which is more of a light resolution.  Does it really need to double the tonic and the fifth? Ooh yeah not sure why I did that.
-Missing a C on beat 3.5 of bar 23?  Could be in the left or the right hand. Yup
-I think it'd be nice to include the whole of the arpeggio in bar 24, finishing on beat 3.  Any reason that you didn't? I think it was a bit weird to write out, but I think I've got it now
-There's something kind of funny about the bass going on in 25-33 with regards to octaves but I think what you have keeps everything consistent so I'm just going to leave it. Yeah sometimes for different pieces the octave of the bass throws me off but I think everything flows and transitions pretty nicely here.
-The third note of the right hand in bar 32 should be a D I think (which matches the rest of the ascending pattern as well). Ah man, that's the worst mistake here. That was just flat-out wrong haha. Definitely a D
-The chord in bar 32 is missing an A I think, but it might be kind of awkward to play so maybe you want to leave it out.  I don't mind. Yeah, think it's better without since the melody just played an A before anyway
-You could write the A in for the piano part in beat 2.75 of bar 35 like you did for bar 38.  Same for 39. I avoided doing that because the original actually plays a B there rather than an A so 35/39 are an omission rather than an overlap like in 38.
-I think you should put the B -> C semiquavers at the end of bar 38 down the octave.  I think here there's really no way to not confuse this for the melody and they're actually resolving up to the D which is now an octave below. Yup

Also, a couple small things I did were add a harmony note under the E in the RH of m. 25 since it sounded a little empty before (all in one layer now) and adjust the spacing slightly in m. 41 to give the flat more room. Everything above should be updated, I think...

Honestly this trumpet solo is so great it made me go and get my trumpet and butcher it horribly; good stuff.  I should really practice more haha.

Definitely my favorite part of this piece is the trumpet. Brass is not typically my favorite, but it's just so perfectly played for the melody of this piece.

[Libera]

Thanks! Yeah a lot of good stuff here, I really appreciate the careful look. Lots of details to iron out.

No worries!

Since you mentioned it a while back I've come to appreciate the importance of reiterating this melody when listening every now and then. I really like your suggestion which is much better than crushing the melody between the two voices on the lower staff - the melody sounds good up there and the piano chords sound find inverted. Definitely like how it resolves to the upper D in the chord in m. 6, too. I've written it as you have (keeping the offbeat D's in the left hand) and also split m. 6 RH into two layers.

Great!  I'm glad I could help with that section.

I'll reply inline for the rest of these since most of them are rather small and to keep the size of this post down...

Yep all these changes look good to me.  Just one thing:

For bar 44 would it not make more sense to have the A in the right hand and the G in the left hand?  That way the hands don't overlap and beat 2 of the RH matches beats 3 and 4.

After that I'll approve.

[Latios212]

For bar 44 would it not make more sense to have the A in the right hand and the G in the left hand?  That way the hands don't overlap and beat 2 of the RH matches beats 3 and 4.

I wrote it like that to capture the exact movement of the two voices in the original, but I guess swapping them makes a bit more sense from a musical and performance standpoint. I can swap them.

Files updated, thanks again~

[Static]

This is getting into some really nitpicky territory, but I hear that pickup in m29 as normal 32nd notes - they sound about the same length as the 32nd notes in m30 and appear to come in right after beat 4.5 instead of on beat 4.75.

(maybe just use a dotted quarter)

Also, the upper notes in m20/23 LH beat 4 might be best in the RH so the LH doesn't have to leap so far. Some of those notes are right in the range of the RH.

Otherwise, looks pretty great to me.

[Latios212]

This is getting into some really nitpicky territory, but I hear that pickup in m29 as normal 32nd notes - they sound about the same length as the 32nd notes in m30 and appear to come in right after beat 4.5 instead of on beat 4.75.

(maybe just use a dotted quarter)

I had this before... Libera helped me correct it. I just checked again and I'm fairly certain that the run starts on the last 16th beat of the measure. (I think it makes a bit more sense that way too, I found the 32nds a bit weird when reading)

Also, the upper notes in m20/23 LH beat 4 might be best in the RH so the LH doesn't have to leap so far. Some of those notes are right in the range of the RH.

Eh, I'd rather keep the voices separate for clarity (both visually and for the performer playing the same notes with different hands). It's a pretty slow piece anyway so the jumps aren't difficult at all.

Thanks for looking! (I didn't change the files)

[Libera]

This is getting into some really nitpicky territory, but I hear that pickup in m29 as normal 32nd notes - they sound about the same length as the 32nd notes in m30 and appear to come in right after beat 4.5 instead of on beat 4.75.

I still hear this as it is currently written, based on my earlier feedback.

But yes I'm finished with this.  Really great sheet. Approved.

[Static]

Fair enough I suppose, but I still hear it as starting slightly before that 16th beat. It's probably fine to keep it I guess, so I'll accept.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Static.

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