Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Paper Mario
Game: Paper Mario: The Origami King
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Olivia's Plea
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: XiaoMigros

[XiaoMigros]

An older transcription of mine, might need some work done.

[Latios212]

An older transcription of mine, might need some work done.

Would you mind giving it a once over first? Or is there something in particular you think you still need help with?

[XiaoMigros]

Can do. There's nothing particular that needs doing, I'll just double-check it for accuracy before one of you guys takes a closer look at it then

[Latios212]

Yes, thanks - that would be much appreciated

[XiaoMigros]

Done 
Should be less work for you now

[Latios212]

Yay less work!

This is originally a piano piece, so I'll be a little more picky than normal regarding which chord tones to include.
- I'd suggest inverting the first chord in m. 1 down once. The original plays a B an octave lower which obviously isn't doable but we can preserve the B on bottom.
- Similarly the chord in m. 7 is rooted by a G on the bottom. That makes a minor tenth to the B flat, but if you omit the G currently written it's easy rollable or reachable. Or you could invert the Bb down as well. Anyway, I suggest playing around with it since I think this chord could be made a bit heavier
- I'm hearing the left hand C in m. 9 being held for the whole measure. I think the RH octave on beat 1 could be lengthened too - to a half note perhaps
- The chord on beat 1 of m. 1 sounds like Bb-Fn-Bb-D ascending. You could have the RH play some of those notes
- Along the same lines, I think the next few triads in m. 10-12 sound a bit too heavy. I think the ones in m. 10-11 can do without the Cn's in them, and m. 12 LH can be F#-C#-F#
- I think the half note chord in m. 14 also has a B on bottom
- Beat 2 of m. 16 isn't very playable as written - see if you can maybe omit a tone or two to make it easier for the LH to roll? I think beat 2 would be good written as C-G-E ascending. (You might want to think about removing the lower D in the half note chord here too, it sounds a bit heavy)

Other things:
- I think beat 3.5 of measure 8 would be better written up an octave, not underneath the 8va. It'd keep the contour of that phrase consistent (G descending to F#-D-A).
- Avoid having the hairpins cross the barlines in m. 17-19.
- The last two chords before the repeat definitely don't sound like p to me. Maybe save the dynamic change for the pickup back to the melody?

Formatting help to come later!

[XiaoMigros]

I agree with almost everything you pointed out, so here are the things I'm still less sure on:

The chord on beat 1 of m. 1 sounds like Bb-Fn-Bb-D ascending.

Presuming you meant to say measure 10, I fixed that.

I think the RH octave on beat 1 could be lengthened too

The original doesn't hold it for that long, and personally I feel that abrupt release gives the piece extra personality. Might just be me though and of course I can change it to a half later if I change my mind. (funnily enough I had it as a half before i revised the sheet)

I think beat 3.5 of measure 8 would be better written up an octave, not underneath the 8va. It'd keep the contour of that phrase consistent (G descending to F#-D-A).

I remember struggling with that section. It seemed weird to have an F# underneath the 8va but not the G. Good to know that the way you suggested is acceptable though, I'll keep that in mind for the future

The files should be updated 2 minutes after this message is sent. I also went ahead and replaced the pedal markings, though I'm not so certain about their alignment.
Thanks for your time!

[Latios212]

Presuming you meant to say measure 10, I fixed that.

Oops yeah, I meant that

I think the RH octave on beat 1 could be lengthened too - to a half note perhaps

The original doesn't hold it for that long, and personally I feel that abrupt release gives the piece extra personality. Might just be me though and of course I can change it to a half later if I change my mind. (funnily enough I had it as a half before i revised the sheet)

That's fair, although I think the eighth note makes it seem a bit too abrupt. Maybe a quarter instead?

I remember struggling with that section. It seemed weird to have an F# underneath the 8va but not the G. Good to know that the way you suggested is acceptable though, I'll keep that in mind for the future

Yeah, there aren't any strict requirements for "anything above/below X should be under an ottava line". It's a good goal to preserve the contour of the phrase to see where the right hand moves up and down, and everything's still perfectly readable this way - the high G in m. 8 is anchored by a G sitting on the staff which is easy to read.

- Beat 2 of m. 16 isn't very playable as written - see if you can maybe omit a tone or two to make it easier for the LH to roll? I think beat 2 would be good written as C-G-E ascending.

I think the C-E-C-E is still a bit awkward - have you tried the C-G-E I suggested?

Also, where is the mf in m. 12 supposed to be - what note is that supposed to apply to? If m. 12 starts off as p then the latest the mf could go is the half note in m. 11.

Do you have Finale 2014 now? Do you need me to fix up the formatting or would you like some pointers on that?

[XiaoMigros]

I think the eighth note makes it seem a bit too abrupt. Maybe a quarter instead?

A quarter works, opted for that now

have you tried the C-G-E I suggested?

I just did, and it works really nicely! Playable, and it ties in well with the rest of the LH in that measure.

I adjusted the mf and put it on m11's half note. Don't really know what I was trying to do earlier tbh

Do you have Finale 2014 now? Do you need me to fix up the formatting or would you like some pointers on that?

Currently I'm using Finale 26, though I can't emphasise enough how inexperienced I am. Maybe if you could tell me what needs fixing up I'll try my best to do so myself. In particular the position of the pedal lines is weird and I wonder if there's a way to automatically adjust those.

[Latios212]

Currently I'm using Finale 26, though I can't emphasise enough how inexperienced I am. Maybe if you could tell me what needs fixing up I'll try my best to do so myself. In particular the position of the pedal lines is weird and I wonder if there's a way to automatically adjust those.

Yeah of course! Here's some info you can take for the future rather than me doing it for you.

Make the system margins consistent, most notably the left margins. Those are different for the first and second page. Use the Page Layout tool and right click one of the boxes at the beginning or end of a system and you can edit margin values for a system range. You can fine-tune the spacing later by selecting the Staff Tool and dragging systems up and down.

Spoiler

[close]

Page 2's missing a title header. You can create one by using the Text Tool and double clicking to create a new text box. Then you can insert the title like in this screenshot. Refer to this topic to make sure the alignment is set properly. Make sure the page margins are consistent too. You can also change the font and style here - definitely need to do that for the composer/arranger info.

Spoiler

[close]

Pedal markings, I would suggest hiding them since they're so abundant here - you can put a con pedale/senza pedale expression text under the LH if you want it to start/end for a section. Unless you're really set on being explicit, you can hide them like this using the Smart Shape Tool:

Spoiler

[close]

Sorry if this is a bit haphazardly thrown together, my mind's a little scattered tonight haha. Lemme know if you need any clarification or help