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Author Topic: [NES] Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon Darkness - "Breager's Castle" by Atcero  (Read 223 times)

Zeta

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Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Gargoyle's Quest II: The Demon Darkness
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Breager's Castle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Atcero
« Last Edit: April 14, 2021, 12:43:46 PM by Libera »
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Atcero

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Quote from: Dudeman
"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

a

Quote from: Latios
"OOPS
I KICKED THE WRONG ONE"

Static

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Looks pretty solid! Here's the files with all of these changes, plus some additional formatting adjustments.[/li]
  • Tempo marking should align with the left side of the time signature.
  • m2 LH actually looks something a bit more like this:
    Spoiler
    [close]
      But that's pretty challenging to play. I'd leave it as you have it, but I would add a B to the half note on beat 3 to fill that chord up some more.
    • The ties at the end of m3 and 5 should be flipped up.
    • m4, 6 LH should have courtesy naturals for the Gs on beat 4.
    • m7-9 LH: I would put the top voice in its own layer for beats 3-4 so that the quarter notes can be held for their full value. The Cn on beat 2 should also have a courtesy accidental.
    • The second layer in m7 RH can be hidden.
    • It sounds a bit weird having the middle voice shifted up an octave in m8, but not in m7 or 9-10. I think you could just move it to the LH.
    • The last system's right margin can be increased so that the one measure doesn't take up the entire width of the page.

    Let me know if you have any questions
    « Last Edit: April 08, 2021, 05:07:26 PM by Static »
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    Atcero

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    Thank ya! Yeah I had the LH with the split voices but since they clashed so much I removed the middle voice for m2.
    For m8, I had the middle voice with the RH since it lined up so well and it kept it in the original octave. That one I would prefer to stay in the RH if possible due to that.
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    Quote from: Dudeman
    "When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

    a

    Quote from: Latios
    "OOPS
    I KICKED THE WRONG ONE"

    Static

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    For m8, I had the middle voice with the RH since it lined up so well and it kept it in the original octave. That one I would prefer to stay in the RH if possible due to that.
    It does work well, but it just sounds kind of weird to me when it shifts up like that. The middle voice goes from the E in the LH in m7 and jumps all the way up to the high A in the RH of m8. If you want, measure 10 might be a good spot to move the middle voice up as well (maybe just beats 3-4). Up to you though. The files in the folder I linked above have the voice moved up in m8.

    Atcero

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    Thank you! When I relisten to it for m10, the middle voice does go down like that rather than going with the upper voice so I think its fine if it stays there if thats fine with you. Also for some reason the playback for the .mus gets a little weird around m5 for some reason. Not sure if it matters too much but just wanted to let ya know.

    Otherwise it looks good to me all in all if it looks good to you, thanks again!
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    Quote from: Dudeman
    "When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

    a

    Quote from: Latios
    "OOPS
    I KICKED THE WRONG ONE"

    Static

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    Thank you! When I relisten to it for m10, the middle voice does go down like that rather than going with the upper voice so I think its fine if it stays there if thats fine with you. Also for some reason the playback for the .mus gets a little weird around m5 for some reason. Not sure if it matters too much but just wanted to let ya know.

    Otherwise it looks good to me all in all if it looks good to you, thanks again!
    No problem! I tried opening the .mus and it sounds ok to me, so I'm not sure what that is. I'm using Finale 2014, so maybe it's just NotePad it doesn't play in or something. But either way it looks good so I'll go ahead and approve

    Atcero

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    Got it all updated, thanks for the reminder Libera!
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    Quote from: Dudeman
    "When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

    a

    Quote from: Latios
    "OOPS
    I KICKED THE WRONG ONE"

    Libera

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    Generally the notes and arrangement are pretty good, but I think the formatting could still be improved.  Whilst I recognise the effort gone to so that this could fit onto one page, I think the end result looks very cramped, especially at the top and the bottom of the page.  Here is my recommended layout:
    Spoiler
    [close]
    Things I did:
    -Moved to a two page layout.
    -Increased the staff separation.
    -Realigned the title and url/copyright.
    -Moved the systems to start on the left margin (for some reason they didn't..?).

    You will (potentially) also notice two other changes in that picture.

    -Bar 9's RH should look like this (everything comes in a semiquaver earlier and there is an extra penultimate B):
    Spoiler
    [close]

    -Bar 11's left hand is different, let me explain.  I don't think the way that the top voice jumps down from the E by a ninth works very well, particularly as this then causes it to cross over with the lower voice.  I agree that this is what happens in the original, but a) I don't think it works very well on piano; b) you have already put the E up to the octave on beat 3, so it's weird for it to not descend by a second; and c) the voicings are completely confused to the reader by writing it this way.  (Furthermore, the Dn and D# on beat 3.5 shouldn't really be written in this way and should instead use a double/split stem.)  Here's a picture:
    Spoiler
    [close]
    The first picture denotes what you currently have with the correct notation for beat 3.5 (this is just for educational purposes, I don't recommend writing the bar this way).  The second picture is my recommendation if you REALLY want to keep it the way you have it (writing it in two layers means it is easier to discern the voicings).  The third picture is my actual recommendation: put the whole of those last four notes up the octave (not just the E) and put a courtesy natural on the Dn.  I highly recommend the third picture since it is clearer to read, much less awkward to play and reflects the original well.

    If you're alright with the above changes (see my first picture), I have the files ready to upload.
    « Last Edit: April 13, 2021, 06:42:15 PM by Libera »
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    Atcero

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    Thank you for m9, it never sounded right fully to me but I thought it was just my imagination! Also yeah, I agree with m11, that sounds fine to me! It still does hold up the original sound so I am more than fine with these changes, thank you so much!
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    Quote from: Dudeman
    "When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

    a

    Quote from: Latios
    "OOPS
    I KICKED THE WRONG ONE"

    Libera

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    Cool and no problem.  I've uploaded the new files (let me know if you find any issues with them) and I'll accept!

    Zeta

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    This submission has been accepted by Libera.

    ~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot
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