[N64] Yoshi's Story - "Page Themes" (Replacement) by Bloop

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Yoshi's Story
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Page Themes
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Bloop]

It's been a little while

Or a big while I guess

All 6 youtube links

[close]

[Zeila]

This is late, but welcome back! Nice job with the sheet :>

Formatting stuff

• Some of the dynamics like in themes 1 and 3 could be centered a little better (both horizontally and vertically)
• For Heartbeat Caverns and The Summit, why not do 2 and 3 measures per system respectively? Both look a little cramped
• Copyright and header info are outside the margins; also it should be https
• The measure numbers should technically reset for each theme
• m2 beats 1-2 RH flip the staccatos so they're on the notehead side
• m14 it would be better if you just added a second layer to the LH so the A could be pointed upwards (it's still possible to do so after cross staving but that takes more work)
• m23 the arpeggio marking could be centered around the chord more
• m31 the quarter rest could be moved a bit lower

Note stuff
The Summit

• m9/11 I'm not sure if this is intentional but the D's on beats 2.5 and 4.5 should be F#'s
• m12 I imagine the C# instead of B# on beat 2.25 was intentional here though, but I just felt like pointing it out in case it wasn't

Alone In The Jungle

• It sounds like it loses intensity from m17-20, so maybe it could be mf here then back to f at m21
• The dotted eighth notes with staccato could be written as staccato eighth + sixteenth rest
• m15-16 the LH pattern here is a little off. For example, I think the C#-Dn pattern would be better as Dn-Eb (the C# is still there on top, but the second note was wrong anyways and Dn-Eb fits more imo than C#-Eb). I also think it would be better to prioritize the low note that alternates between G# and A instead of the voice that just does G#, so it would be G#-A-G#-A-A in the first measure and then G#-A-G#-A-B in the second
• m18 beat 4.5 RH G# sounds like A

Grande Finale

• m32 beats 1-2 RH I think there are C's playing here too?
• m32 beat 3 Db sounds like Dn and I think there are Bn's here too
• m32 beat 4 I think the 5th is omitted here if anything, so you could replace Fn with Dn

[Bloop]

Fixed!

• For Heartbeat Caverns and The Summit, why not do 2 and 3 measures per system respectively? Both look a little cramped

I originally thought it was a bit too spread out, but that was a year or two ago and now I don't feel that way lol.

The Summit

• m9/11 I'm not sure if this is intentional but the D's on beats 2.5 and 4.5 should be F#'s
• m12 I imagine the C# instead of B# on beat 2.25 was intentional here though, but I just felt like pointing it out in case it wasn't

I think I just missed that they weren't the same notes, the attack of the bassoons obscures it a bit. Fixed though!

Alone In The Jungle

• m15-16 the LH pattern here is a little off. For example, I think the C#-Dn pattern would be better as Dn-Eb (the C# is still there on top, but the second note was wrong anyways and Dn-Eb fits more imo than C#-Eb). I also think it would be better to prioritize the low note that alternates between G# and A instead of the voice that just does G#, so it would be G#-A-G#-A-A in the first measure and then G#-A-G#-A-B in the second

Did that, plus some extra notes. I hear a voice going C#-G#-C#-G#-D and a voice going D-Eb-D-Eb-Eb, and I have a bit of a hard time hearing what to bottom voice does exactly, but I think this sounds pretty close. I wanted to keep some of those minor seconds in though, because I feel like there's some more crunch than just diminished fifths.

Grande Finale

• m32 beats 1-2 RH I think there are C's playing here too?
• m32 beat 3 Db sounds like Dn and I think there are Bn's here too
• m32 beat 4 I think the 5th is omitted here if anything, so you could replace Fn with Dn

Fixed too! I feel like there's some change happening between beat 3 and beat 4, but I can't hear what it would be. Maybe it's just in my head.

[Static]

Looks pretty great, just a few extra details from me:

Some general stuff first:
- Man, titles are annoying sometimes... it appears you're using the Nintendo of Europe CD titles, which are a bit more verbose than the original Japanese titles. The American CD just has all the tracks under "Page Medley" which isn't very helpful here. None of these quite match the in-game world map names though (Beginning, Cavern, Summit, Jungle, Ocean, Finale). And maybe a better overall title would be "Page Themes" since each world is referred to as a page (this matches up with the soundtracks as well). Just something to think about, up to you if you want to change the titles or not.

The Story Begins/Beginning
- The bass notes sound lower to me, like almost G#s.

Heartbeat Caverns/Cavern
- The F#s on beats 3-4 RH of m4 sound like D#s to me. It's fine to move around the other offbeat notes to make this part easier to play, but these two beats have nothing else going on.

Alone in the Jungle/Jungle
- The harmony part obscures this a bit, but I still hear the tonic as A. Maybe A major would be better.

The Grande Finale/Finale
- The F on beat 3 of m2 sounds like it has some grace notes leading to the to the Eb (Gb and F it seems).
- I don't think you need to shorten the final system, since it has the same amount of stuff going on as the one above it. As it is now, it looks a bit squished compared to the one above.

[Bloop]

I think I'll keep the page specific titles as they are. I thought about putting the in-game titles in brackets, but except for Mermaid's Tears, their title is in their name in some way too. I do like "Page Themes" as overall title too, but I can't edit the submission title itself because it's a replacement, so I guess that's an updater thing.

@The Story Begins: I think I prefer the B over the G#, because the G# doesn't make much sense with the other harmonies. The actual note is between G and G# I believe, but because it's percussion, I'd rather have something harmony-neutral.

@Heartbeat Caverns: I didn't notice at first, but the offbeat notes are just the onbeat notes an octave lower. Except for the first measure I changed the offbeat notes to be the upper note of the dyad (and the sole D# in the beats you mentioned).

@Alone in the Jungle: I still feel it more as C# minor, but I did feel weird having Dn's and Eb's while having a D# in the key signature, so A major fixes that for me lol.

@Grande Finale: Fixed!

[Static]

All those points make sense to me. I'll change the submission title and approve

[Latios212]

I find it interesting how a bunch of Yoshi's Story themes sound so unnerving despite how cute the game is...

Just a few small things:
- Last measure of The Summit: the "tr" is too far to the right (should be above the note, this also applies to the ones in the last few measures) and the stem for the C# is too short
- Much of the second page is pretty cramped vertically. I'd suggest reducing the space between LH/RH staves slightly where there's extra space in some systems in order to put a bit more space between the header and the top system in particular.
- Page number (2) is above the top margin

[Bloop]

Fixed!

[Latios212]

Terrific! I'll accept now, hooray for replacement

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot