[SW] Paper Mario: The Origami King - "The Elastic Entertainer" by mastersuperfan

Started by Zeta, July 10, 2021, 06:22:22 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Paper Mario
Game: Paper Mario: The Origami King
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: The Elastic Entertainer
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mastersuperfan

[attachment deleted by admin]

mastersuperfan

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Bloop

For some reason all articulation placements are messed up in the .mus and .musx file :o Don't know if that's just me though, because it's fine in the pdf. Anyway, here are some enharmonic spelling tips!

There are a lot of descending lines in this song, which usually looks cleaner with flats instead of sharps. For the main melody you could use Bb instead of A# and Ab instead of G:
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This makes the R.H. in m. 21 a lot cleaner too:
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And maybe this for the L.H. in m. 26, 27 and 29:
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And R.H. m. 34:
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Usually, sharpening or flattening a note just to have it canceled again afterwards is a red flag for me. Sometimes it's nearly unavoidable (like the L.H. in m. 27), so you'll have to choose what you think clearest to the performer.

Libera

Quote from: Bloop on July 11, 2021, 02:36:11 AMFor some reason all articulation placements are messed up in the .mus and .musx file :o Don't know if that's just me though, because it's fine in the pdf.

This is how we know you haven't been around for ages haha.  This is a well known issue here that occurs when people with versions of finale older than v26 open sheets produced in v26.

Bloop


mastersuperfan

Quote from: Bloop on July 11, 2021, 02:36:11 AMFor some reason all articulation placements are messed up in the .mus and .musx file :o Don't know if that's just me though, because it's fine in the pdf. Anyway, here are some enharmonic spelling tips!

There are a lot of descending lines in this song, which usually looks cleaner with flats instead of sharps. For the main melody you could use Bb instead of A# and Ab instead of G:
You cannot view this attachment.

This makes the R.H. in m. 21 a lot cleaner too:
You cannot view this attachment.

And maybe this for the L.H. in m. 26, 27 and 29:
You cannot view this attachment.
You cannot view this attachment.

And R.H. m. 34:
You cannot view this attachment.

Usually, sharpening or flattening a note just to have it canceled again afterwards is a red flag for me. Sometimes it's nearly unavoidable (like the L.H. in m. 27), so you'll have to choose what you think clearest to the performer.

Thanks, I updated the files based on your advice.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

This is... really quite good. I'm not finding anything off.
- Cross-staff beam in m. 17 should be horizontal

A few thoughts about some of the accidentals/intervals here... overall I think it makes sense to look at the LH and RH largely independently. But there are a couple of things that catch my eye:
- I notice you didn't change the RH Ab in m. 10 and similar per Bloop's post, was that intentional? I do think the G# might look a bit nicer.
- The Fb at the end of m. 42/46 looks really awkward bridging the gap between F# before it and En after it. I'm wondering if it'd be less confusing to write that as a E-G# dyad (we already have G# from earlier in the measure) with a courtesy natural on the G in the following measure.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

mastersuperfan

Quote from: Latios212 on July 28, 2021, 06:40:10 PMThis is... really quite good.
Thanks! :D

Quote from: Latios212 on July 28, 2021, 06:40:10 PM- Cross-staff beam in m. 17 should be horizontal
- The Fb at the end of m. 42/46 looks really awkward bridging the gap between F# before it and En after it. I'm wondering if it'd be less confusing to write that as a E-G# dyad (we already have G# from earlier in the measure) with a courtesy natural on the G in the following measure.
Got these!

Quote from: Latios212 on July 28, 2021, 06:40:10 PM- I notice you didn't change the RH Ab in m. 10 and similar per Bloop's post, was that intentional? I do think the G# might look a bit nicer.
I actually missed this the first time around, lol. But Ab still feels more appropriate to me because it's not a leading tone to the A (as G# might imply) and because the measures afterward also use Ab.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Static

  • No slur in m9 LH?
  • m24-25 RH: I hear another E-F voice on top of the A#-B.
  • Maybe use dotted 8th rests in m24-25? You use them in m42-47.
  • It kinda bugs me that m25 beats 3-4 aren't written as parallel chords when they are, but I guess this is easiest to read.
  • Might be a good idea to put tenutos on m34/36 RH beat 1, I feel like those are easy to miss when reading and would likely just be played short to match the previous measures.
  • m44 is not the same as m48. I'm getting this:

mastersuperfan

Quote from: Static on July 29, 2021, 08:37:37 PM
  • No slur in m9 LH?
  • m24-25 RH: I hear another E-F voice on top of the A#-B.
  • Maybe use dotted 8th rests in m24-25? You use them in m42-47.
  • Might be a good idea to put tenutos on m34/36 RH beat 1, I feel like those are easy to miss when reading and would likely just be played short to match the previous measures.
All good points, updated. I also turned m25 RH beats 3-4 into staccato parallel octaves.

Quote from: Static on July 29, 2021, 08:37:37 PM
  • m44 is not the same as m48. I'm getting this:
The Fn belongs to a different voice that I wasn't trying to transcribe—but since it's pretty prominent, I decided to add it anyway. I don't hear the B, though. I omitted the A# at that spot for playability's sake.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Static

For m44, even if those extra notes om beat 4-4.5 are part of a different voice, I still hear them pretty clearly in the original. But I guess it's fine to leave them out. The other changes look good, so I'll accept.

Zeta