NinSheetMusic Forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Debate topic for next Tuesday: Are cannons truly valid instruments for an orchestra? Or should they be replaced with something safer, like Tesla coils?

Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: Radiak's Colors Sheet  (Read 1125 times)

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Radiak's Colors Sheet
« on: July 17, 2021, 02:04:46 AM »

My first sheet for the colors project:

Prisma Museum [MUS] [Original]

NotePad stuff:

-First chord of cadenza needs less space
-Cadenza tempos & timesig need to be hidden
-Pedal markings need to be hidden/con pedale playback disabled
-D.S. needs bolding
« Last Edit: August 08, 2021, 07:06:48 AM by Radiak488417 »
Logged

Zeila

  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *************************
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1121
  • Beehaw
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet(s)
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2021, 05:18:20 AM »

I did the stuff you mentioned, and then I also fixed the "title" header and changed the measure numbers so that the cadenza only counts as one instead of three. Here's some feedback too, and the measure numbers I'm referencing are the new ones

  • it sounds like the LH G at the end of the cadenza is followed by a D, but I'm unsure. To me it sounds like it's in sync with the trill delay, and could just be represented by an eighth note then dotted quarter that's tied or dotted half note
  • m6/26 you left a rest here, but in measures 14/15/18/etc you tied the note instead. Is there a reason why they're written differently?
  • m11/31 RH beat 1 might have an Ab too
  • m13 RH beat 1 I don't think the high G is there, so you could put a low E instead
  • m18 RH beat 1 sounds like there's an F too, but idk if you'd want to include that
  • m33 RH second chord sounds like it might have an A too; I also don't hear an E here but it could just be more faint
  • m34 LH first eighth note should be a quarter note, and the third eighth note should be lowered an octave
  • m35 RH first chord sounds rolled
  • m36 LH I think either the second eighth note is a quarter note, or the third eighth note is a C (same note as before) instead of an F; I'm leaning towards the latter personallyl
  • m36 RH second chord - there's also a D# on top, and if you were to only include one then I would personally have it on top to preserve the melody; it also doesn't sound like the A is there
  • m37 RH missing augmentation dot for beat 4?
  • m42 RH missing rest
  • m62 second chord sounds rolled
  • m62-65 it sounds like it decrescendos to piano or so, then it's back to mf at the pickup

That's it, nice work!
[MUS]
Logged

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet(s)
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2021, 02:08:59 AM »

Thanks for the edits and the timely feedback :)

  • it sounds like the LH G at the end of the cadenza is followed by a D, but I'm unsure. To me it sounds like it's in sync with the trill delay, and could just be represented by an eighth note then dotted quarter that's tied or dotted half note
  • m6/26 you left a rest here, but in measures 14/15/18/etc you tied the note instead. Is there a reason why they're written differently?
  • m11/31 RH beat 1 might have an Ab too
  • m13 RH beat 1 I don't think the high G is there, so you could put a low E instead
  • m18 RH beat 1 sounds like there's an F too, but idk if you'd want to include that
  • m33 RH second chord sounds like it might have an A too; I also don't hear an E here but it could just be more faint
  • m34 LH first eighth note should be a quarter note, and the third eighth note should be lowered an octave
  • m35 RH first chord sounds rolled
  • m36 LH I think either the second eighth note is a quarter note, or the third eighth note is a C (same note as before) instead of an F; I'm leaning towards the latter personallyl
  • m36 RH second chord - there's also a D# on top, and if you were to only include one then I would personally have it on top to preserve the melody; it also doesn't sound like the A is there
  • m37 RH missing augmentation dot for beat 4?
  • m42 RH missing rest
  • m62 second chord sounds rolled
  • m62-65 it sounds like it decrescendos to piano or so, then it's back to mf at the pickup

-I think that D is just an overtone from the low G (3rd harmonic)
-Yeah, the reason I didn't tie it there is that the RH plays the same note immediately afterwards, so it doesn't really make sense for the LH to be holding it.
-Yep, good catch.
-That makes sense, changed it.
-I think this is the same as m13, the top note isn't restruck from the previous measure. I've added the F and removed the G for now.
-I'm hearing this one as I have it currently, if others hear it differently I'll consider changing it.
-I'm also hearing this as I have it written.
-Whoops, got it.
-Pretty sure the third eighth is an F like I have it, but it's really faint so it might not be worth including.
-I think the D# you're hearing might be an overtone or something because I don't hear it. I think it makes more sense for the melody be an A here, since it is in m32 and this is essentially the same phrase down an octave. I also noticed an A in the LH on this beat, so I've added it.
-(n/a)
-(n/a)
-Done.
-Agreed, added that in.

MUS has been updated!
Logged

Bloop

  • Scourge of World 2-2
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Posts: 2006
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2021, 11:39:44 AM »

Awesome sheet! Here's a few little things:

-m. 3 (and similar places), R.H.: I'd notate the two 32nd notes at the end of the bar as 16th grace notes in m. 4.
-m. 17 L.H.: I'd notate the two A's in beat 2 (or beats 4-6, if you're counting eighths) as two dotted eighths. If you really don't want that, I'd suggest extending the beam across all three notes, or just the first two. This same rhythm appears in m. 37 R.H., so whatever you choose, use the same notation there :p
-About m. 33 and 34: I think what you have now is correct. I didn't hear the A in m33, then I did, then I didn't again, so idk anymore lol. You'd expect solo piano pieces to be clearer in what notes are played, but that's unfortunately not true vah medoh traumas
Logged

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2021, 04:32:24 AM »

-m. 3 (and similar places), R.H.: I'd notate the two 32nd notes at the end of the bar as 16th grace notes in m. 4.
I'm conflicted here, because they sound more like part of the melody than an ornamentation. Having them as 32nds also makes it so that the performer doesn't have to remember to play them when repeating back to m4 from the D.S. That said, if other people also think they should be grace notes I'll go along with it.

-m. 17 L.H.: I'd notate the two A's in beat 2 (or beats 4-6, if you're counting eighths) as two dotted eighths. If you really don't want that, I'd suggest extending the beam across all three notes, or just the first two. This same rhythm appears in m. 37 R.H., so whatever you choose, use the same notation there :p
Whoops I didn't realize they didn't match haha. Honestly I'm not sure what the correct notation is here, but 2 dotted 8ths looks a bit weird to me. In the meantime I've updated m17 to match m37, with the first two notes beamed together.

-About m. 33 and 34: I think what you have now is correct. I didn't hear the A in m33, then I did, then I didn't again, so idk anymore lol. You'd expect solo piano pieces to be clearer in what notes are played, but that's unfortunately not true vah medoh traumas
Yeah lol, solo piano can be really hard sometimes (after notechecking Zeila's Kirby sheet I don't think my ears will ever be the same...)

Fixed up a couple more things as well:
-Changed the 8th grace notes in m31 to 16ths and flipped them
-Flipped the grace note in m32
« Last Edit: September 03, 2021, 04:06:53 AM by Radiak488417 »
Logged

Bloop

  • Scourge of World 2-2
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Posts: 2006
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2021, 07:01:37 PM »

I'm conflicted here, because they sound more like part of the melody than an ornamentation. Having them as 32nds also makes it so that the performer doesn't have to remember to play them when repeating back to m4 from the DC. That said, if other people also think they should be grace notes I'll go along with it.
Ornamentations are still part of the melody right? But yeah, I can see what you mean with the D.C. thing, that was something that did cross my mind when I commented on it. Let's see what others think!
Logged

Static

  • Updater
  • Corneria Concert
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1986
    • View Profile
    • YouTube
    • Email
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2021, 02:55:40 AM »

Prisma Museum

Regarding the 32nd note stuff, I think having the rhythms written out explicitly is fine, but I'd recommend this beaming instead:

It's just a slightly fancier version of this rhythm:


Onto other things now:
- The very first chord I think would be fine just 8va, it only goes up 4 ledger lines when written like that (in general, 4-5 ledger lines above the RH is perfectly acceptable - though maybe that's just my inner jazz trombonist speaking). It's only one note higher than the 16th note run after it.
- m13 RH beat 1: Sounds like G-C#-E-G instead of E-G-C#
- m14 RH beat 1: There's a G between the F and A here
- m17 RH beat 1: There isn't a C in this chord
- m17 LH/37 RH: Two dotted 8ths is actually the standard grouping for this rhythm, but you could also write it as a duplet
- m18 RH beat 1: This chord doesn't sound arpeggiated to me
- m30 LH beat 3: This should be C instead of A
- m32 RH beat 1: I'm not sure I hear the F in the RH here
- m32 RH beat 4: You could add an arpeggio marking here if you want
- m33 RH beat 1: There's another G an octave below the melody G
- m33 LH beat 1: There's another E an octave above the current E
- m34 RH beat 1: I don't think there's an A playing here
- m35 RH would be a good place for a little crescendo perhaps
- m35 RH beat 4: I also don't think there's an E here, but it's hard to tell
- m37 RH beat 1: There's an E between the D and G
- m37 beat 4: This is a dim7 chord, so it can be written many different correct ways, but in this case I'd suggest spelling it with Eb and Gb so that it resolves more appropriately to the Dm chord in the following bar
- m38 RH beat 1: Sounds like there's an A between the F and C
- m62 RH beat 1: The low A should be the D above it, and this chord could also have an arpeggio marking
- m64 LH beat 1: I think there's a D above the G here, just on beat 1 though

Looks great overall, these are just little details

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2021, 05:42:52 AM »

- The very first chord I think would be fine just 8va, it only goes up 4 ledger lines when written like that (in general, 4-5 ledger lines above the RH is perfectly acceptable - though maybe that's just my inner jazz trombonist speaking). It's only one note higher than the 16th note run after it.
Yeah that makes sense. Unfortunately I can't do 8vas with NotePad, plus raising the chord an octave necessitates moving the first system down a bit. If you could do those for me I'd appreciate it.

- m13 RH beat 1: Sounds like G-C#-E-G instead of E-G-C#
I hear the lower E pretty clearly and can't hear any high one at all. I'm really unsure about the high G as well, it's definitely playing on that beat but I can't tell if it's restruck or not. I've left it unchanged for now.

- m17 LH/37 RH: Two dotted 8ths is actually the standard grouping for this rhythm, but you could also write it as a duplet
Good to know, I'll just go with 2 dotted 8ths.

- m32 RH beat 1: I'm not sure I hear the F in the RH here
You're right, removed it. I think I hear a low A as well, so I've added that in.

- m33 RH beat 1: There's another G an octave below the melody G
- m33 LH beat 1: There's another E an octave above the current E
I'm honestly having a hard time hearing what's happening on this beat... I can sort of hear the notes you mentioned, but it sounds way too full/forceful to me in playback, so I've left it as-is for now.

- m34 RH beat 1: I don't think there's an A playing here
I hear it pretty prominently.

- m35 RH beat 4: I also don't think there's an E here, but it's hard to tell
I think it's there, just very quiet.

- m37 beat 4: This is a dim7 chord, so it can be written many different correct ways, but in this case I'd suggest spelling it with Eb and Gb so that it resolves more appropriately to the Dm chord in the following bar
I had them as Eb and Gb originally, but I thought the enharmonics with m36 might be confusing to read. I'd like to hear someone else's opinion here, I could honestly go either way.

- m62 RH beat 1: The low A should be the D above it, and this chord could also have an arpeggio marking
I hear both the A and the D, so I've just added the D for now (and the arpeggio).

Got everything else!
Logged

Static

  • Updater
  • Corneria Concert
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1986
    • View Profile
    • YouTube
    • Email
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2021, 02:25:28 AM »

I hear the lower E pretty clearly and can't hear any high one at all. I'm really unsure about the high G as well, it's definitely playing on that beat but I can't tell if it's restruck or not. I've left it unchanged for now.
Ah, I hear that low E now, but I still hear the high G restruck as well. It's a wide chord, but definitely possible with a slight roll (as in the recording).

You're right, removed it. I think I hear a low A as well, so I've added that in.
Not sure I hear a low A there

I'm honestly having a hard time hearing what's happening on this beat... I can sort of hear the notes you mentioned, but it sounds way too full/forceful to me in playback, so I've left it as-is for now.
In general, I wouldn't rely on Finale playback, especially for actual transcribed solo piano pieces like this. There's so many nuances that a performer can make (bringing out individual notes in a chord, etc.) that aren't easily captured in playback. With that said, I still hear the extra E on beat 1 (the G is a bit harder to tell).

Oh yeah, and one other thing, consider writing "Transcribed by" rather than "Arranged by" - this isn't really an arrangement, since it's a direct transcription of a solo piano piece.

The rest of the changes look great! I've uploaded a fresh copy of the file with the fixed 8va, lmk if there's any issues.

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2021, 04:04:27 AM »

Looks good, except it looks like the spacing for the first chord in the cadenza got reset. I changed the arranger text to "Transcribed by," and moved the E you added in m33 to the LH since it's a lot easier to play that way. Still unsure about that high G in m13, if someone else thinks it should be there then I'll add it.
Logged

Static

  • Updater
  • Corneria Concert
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1986
    • View Profile
    • YouTube
    • Email
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2021, 04:46:24 AM »

Nice, I'll approve now

Bloop

  • Scourge of World 2-2
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Posts: 2006
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2021, 08:17:26 PM »

I'm very close to accepting! Just a few little things and a few little suggestions:
-You could change the A# in m.2 (and similar measures) to Bb, like you do with the same kind of chord in m.5 for example.
-m.32: Maybe you could put a forte dynamic marking here? This is pretty much the climax of the first section, so a dynamic to show that would be pretty nice.
-m.40: The stem of the first 8th in the R.H. should be facing upwards.
-m.42: If you want, you could use p instead of mp here; going from mp to mf is kinda like going to luke"cold" to lukewarm, so expanding that dynamic range could liven up the sheet a bit more.
-m.58-62: Fairly minor point, but you could use the 8vb marking for just the low D in m.62, as the low A's and G's in 58-61 aren't too low yet and it prevents trip-ups from reading the "high" A after the high G in 57. The 8vb at the low D is pretty close to the D too btw, it's not covering anything but it just feels a bit tight.
-m.64-65: Maybe you can either show the pedal marking and/or extend the B-D in the R.H. in 64 to 65 too, so that it's clear for the player that they need to depress the pedal at beat 4 of m.65.
Also, I'd add a mf dynamic marking to beat 4 of m.65 too, as it starts at the original dynamic again.
Logged

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2021, 01:15:34 AM »

-You could change the A# in m.2 (and similar measures) to Bb, like you do with the same kind of chord in m.5 for example.
-m.40: The stem of the first 8th in the R.H. should be facing upwards.
Got these!

-m.32: Maybe you could put a forte dynamic marking here? This is pretty much the climax of the first section, so a dynamic to show that would be pretty nice.
-m.42: If you want, you could use p instead of mp here; going from mp to mf is kinda like going to luke"cold" to lukewarm, so expanding that dynamic range could liven up the sheet a bit more.
Not too sure about these, I don't really hear the dynamics changing that much in those spots in the original.

-m.58-62: Fairly minor point, but you could use the 8vb marking for just the low D in m.62, as the low A's and G's in 58-61 aren't too low yet and it prevents trip-ups from reading the "high" A after the high G in 57. The 8vb at the low D is pretty close to the D too btw, it's not covering anything but it just feels a bit tight.
Agreed with all of this, I deleted the 8va but I can't add it back in for m62 so if you could do that that'd be great.

-m.64-65: Maybe you can either show the pedal marking and/or extend the B-D in the R.H. in 64 to 65 too, so that it's clear for the player that they need to depress the pedal at beat 4 of m.65.
Opted for extending the dyad to m65, although the ties/staff spacing might need some adjusting.

Also, I'd add a mf dynamic marking to beat 4 of m.65 too, as it starts at the original dynamic again.
I swear I had one here... it's there in my MuseScore sheet :P Added it.

I'd still like someone to take another look at some of those disagreement spots (m13, m32, m33) before this gets accepted. Also, what do you think about having the 2nd layer dyad in m3 and m23 be cross-staffed from the RH? (I can't do it obviously but it seems like it could help with readability)
Logged

Bloop

  • Scourge of World 2-2
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Posts: 2006
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2021, 07:29:28 PM »

Not too sure about these, I don't really hear the dynamics changing that much in those spots in the original.
Yeah it's true that it's a bit more subtle in the original. I'm kinda looking into how dynamic markings can be used less as volume knobs and more as atmosphere, so pulling the dynamic strings a bit further may make a difference in how the player will perceive the sections. It's up to you what you wanna do though! Keeping it to mf and mp is not a problem.

I'd still like someone to take another look at some of those disagreement spots (m13, m32, m33) before this gets accepted.
In measure 13 I do hear the high G: it's a bit soft compared to the rest of the chord, but it doesn't sound like an echo.
Is measure 32 referring to the lower A in the R.H.? I do hear that one too. As for measure 33, I don't hear the octave doublings in both the L.H. and R.H. (so no high E or low G)

Also, what do you think about having the 2nd layer dyad in m3 and m23 be cross-staffed from the RH? (I can't do it obviously but it seems like it could help with readability)
Both are fine I think, I added it in for you, but if you change your mind you can probably just delete it again and change it back. I also added the 8vb in m62 for you and widened the space between the two systems a bit! (I didn't change the stuff in m.13, 32 and 33 yet though)
Logged

Radiak488417

  • Lapras Lullaby
  • *****
  • Posts: 116
    • View Profile
Re: Radiak's Colors Sheet
« Reply #14 on: September 16, 2021, 03:12:36 AM »

Looks great, I added the high G in m13 + removed the lower E for playability, and removed the LH E in m33. It looks like you added a double barline in m23, which I also agree with. The only other things I can think of are that the beams for the cross-staffed parts could be angled a little bit, and the LH rest in the cadenza should be hidden (although doing that might mess up the spacing of the 16ths, anytime I do anything to the cadenza that seems to happen lol). Thanks for all the help with this one!
Logged
Pages: [1] 2
 

Page created in 0.304 seconds with 24 queries.