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Zeila's Colors Project Sheets

Started by Zeila, July 26, 2021, 02:36:13 AM

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Zeila

[NDS] Cory in the House - "White House" - [MUS]

[WiiU] Paper Mario: Color Splash - "Sunset Express" - [MUS]

I have some comments about this one:
  • m10 RH beat 1.25 it sounds like the lower note is a C, but then it doesn't match with measures 6/14 that way...
  • m11 RH the way the grace notes are placed imply something different but they're just there to vaguely approximate the sax fall. If they should be removed or notated differently then I'm okay with it
  • m20/23/24 LH I tried emulating the percussion here but it may be better to just omit it, idk
  • m37-42 LH omitted a few notes to make it sound less muddy/dissonant

Bloop

About White House:
-Is the little fill at the end of m. 2 (and similar places) just to signify a new section? That's not a problem! There's two suggestions I could do:
   -Maybe you could change the C to a Cb, like the actual bassline does in m. 6.
   -In m. 6 and 22, you could change the last 4 (or even last 6) notes to be exactly the same as the bassline on top.
-m. 22 R.H.: The C in the second layer on beat 4 needs a natural accidental. If you're going to change the L.H. to be the same as the bassline, you can still use Cb there.
-m. 23-26: This part could be a bit too short for this, but I'd suggest changing the key signature to F major here too, as this is a similar section to m. 7-14.

About Sunset Express:
-m. 2 and 4, R.H.: I believe the Bb on beat 2.75 doesn't tie into beat 3.
-m. 7-8, R.H.: You could continue with the accent markings in the R.H., as there are more piano notes that are being played softly. I think they same is true for most other accent-solos like in m. 15-16 and m. 24
-m. 10: Listening at 0.25 speed, the lower sax starts on a Db but kinda dips down to a C. It could just be a weird jazzy mistake flourish.
-m. 11: If you want to notate the sax fall exactly, it would look like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
You could also add a slur from the F to Db on top of that, to really emphasize it being connected to the F.
-m. 12, R.H.: There should be a staccato marking on the Ab on beat 3.75
-m. 20/23/24: I think I'd be pro omitting the arranged drum parts, because they make an emptier-sounding part sound too full imo.
-m. 40 and 42: I'd notate the (upper) 32nd notes as grace notes in beat 1.75 in m. 40 (even though they do start on the same beat as the lower Bb) and beat 2.75 in m. 42.

Zeila

White House

Quote from: Bloop on August 30, 2021, 05:23:14 AM-Is the little fill at the end of m. 2 (and similar places) just to signify a new section? That's not a problem! There's two suggestions I could do:
   -Maybe you could change the C to a Cb, like the actual bassline does in m. 6.
   -In m. 6 and 22, you could change the last 4 (or even last 6) notes to be exactly the same as the bassline on top.
It is, and thanks for the suggestions!

Quote from: Bloop on August 30, 2021, 05:23:14 AM-m. 22 R.H.: The C in the second layer on beat 4 needs a natural accidental. If you're going to change the L.H. to be the same as the bassline, you can still use Cb there.
Odd, I guess the mus export messed with that since it shows in my musx file. I tried manually adding/removing parenthesis around it as if it were a courtesy accidental, so maybe that will help

Quote from: Bloop on August 30, 2021, 05:23:14 AM-m. 23-26: This part could be a bit too short for this, but I'd suggest changing the key signature to F major here too, as this is a similar section to m. 7-14.
I'm not sure if it's worth adding considering that I'd also have to put a courtesy key signature change at the very end too


Sunset Express

Quote from: Bloop on August 30, 2021, 05:23:14 AM-m. 10: Listening at 0.25 speed, the lower sax starts on a Db but kinda dips down to a C. It could just be a weird jazzy mistake flourish.
In that case I will just change it to a Db

Quote from: Bloop on August 30, 2021, 05:23:14 AM-m. 40 and 42: I'd notate the (upper) 32nd notes as grace notes in beat 1.75 in m. 40 (even though they do start on the same beat as the lower Bb) and beat 2.75 in m. 42.
I'll leave m40 the same and change measure 42, but if more people think I should also change measure 40 for consistency or whatever else then I'll do it

I did the rest, thanks for checking!

Static

White House
- Wow, if only you had taken the melody quiz I put this in a few years ago... No one else got it rip
- Maybe the PDF version looks different, but on my end, whenever you have a keychange, all of the cancelling naturals appear. What I mean by this is that when you go from F minor to F major, only 3 naturals should appear, not all 4. Likewise, going from F major to F minor should just add flats - not add a natural and then add 4 flats. You can fix this by just changing the Fmaj section to Dm (and check "Hold notes to original pitches chromatically")
- m22: That Cn in the RH is colliding with the previous beat
- You could add Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle as a composer if you want, since he wrote La Marseillaise (m23-26). It's such a short excerpt though that it probably doesn't matter and can just be thought of as a quote. That first melody though, I've been trying to find what that is but no luck, so it's probably original.

Cool sheet, it works surprisingly well as a piano solo, especially with those added fills you wrote

Zeila

White House

Quote from: Static on September 07, 2021, 07:12:38 PM- Wow, if only you had taken the melody quiz I put this in a few years ago... No one else got it rip
oof

Quote from: Static on September 07, 2021, 07:12:38 PM- Maybe the PDF version looks different, but on my end, whenever you have a keychange, all of the cancelling naturals appear. What I mean by this is that when you go from F minor to F major, only 3 naturals should appear, not all 4. Likewise, going from F major to F minor should just add flats - not add a natural and then add 4 flats. You can fix this by just changing the Fmaj section to Dm (and check "Hold notes to original pitches chromatically")
For whatever reason, holding the pitches chromatically still changed the enharmonic spellings. Maybe it bugs out when switching from major to minor? Regardless, I fixed the keychange issue

Quote from: Static on September 07, 2021, 07:12:38 PM- m22: That Cn in the RH is colliding with the previous beat
Fixed

Quote from: Static on September 07, 2021, 07:12:38 PM- You could add Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle as a composer if you want, since he wrote La Marseillaise (m23-26). It's such a short excerpt though that it probably doesn't matter and can just be thought of as a quote. That first melody though, I've been trying to find what that is but no luck, so it's probably original.
I'll omit him since it's only 4 measures

Quote from: Static on September 07, 2021, 07:12:38 PMCool sheet, it works surprisingly well as a piano solo, especially with those added fills you wrote
Thanks!

Static

All the changes look good, one last thing that caught my attention though: The top staff on page 2 looks a bit close to the text/top margin, and you have plenty of space on the bottom of that page. Maybe bring those systems down a bit.

Zeila


Static


Bloop


Bloop

Double posting for a little bit more small thins about Sunset Express:
Quote from: Bloop on August 30, 2021, 05:23:14 AM-m. 2 and 4, R.H.: I believe the Bb on beat 2.75 doesn't tie into beat 3.
Maybe I should've worded this a bit clearer, but I meant that there's not a Bb at all on beat 3:
You cannot view this attachment.
-m.15 R.H.: The Eb on beat 3.5 could use an accent too I think.
-m.24 R.H.: Maybe an accent on the F of beat 4.25 too? Also, you can have this run go over in the L.H. so the right hand can take the higher Db of the sax on beat 4.75. Maybe from that same F could be a good switching point.
-Probably very nitpicky, but the game title could go up a little bit as the gap seems a tad too big, but maybe that's just me lol.

Everything else seems fine!

Zeila

Quote from: Bloop on September 13, 2021, 09:29:50 AMDouble posting for a little bit more small thins about Sunset Express:Maybe I should've worded this a bit clearer, but I meant that there's not a Bb at all on beat 3:
~snip~
oops, fixed

Quote from: Bloop on September 13, 2021, 09:29:50 AM-m.15 R.H.: The Eb on beat 3.5 could use an accent too I think.
-m.24 R.H.: Maybe an accent on the F of beat 4.25 too? Also, you can have this run go over in the L.H. so the right hand can take the higher Db of the sax on beat 4.75. Maybe from that same F could be a good switching point.
-Probably very nitpicky, but the game title could go up a little bit as the gap seems a tad too big, but maybe that's just me lol.
I did these too, thanks!

Bloop

Nice, I'll move this to the abloopved folder! The only thing I could add is that the newly added 8th + 16th rest in m. 24 could also be written as a dotted 8th rest, but either way is fine.

Latios212

Sunset Express
- The Eb in m. 15 beat 3.5 should be natural (the one on beat 4 is still flat though)
- Not too sure I hear where the Bb in the left hand is coming from in m. 17/33? It sounds kinda muddy, and to me the right hand chords sound like they might be better off inverted upwards a bit too
- The G's in the second half of m. 18/34 should be flat
- Adjust the gliss. going into m. 19 a bit - it doesn't have to be so long and sloped, and could have the right end raised a bit
- m. 23 beat 3.25 eighth note is missing a staccato
- Not sure if this is a Finale version thing, but the accents should be above the noteheads in m. 24
- Some slurs need adjusting to not be so curvy - the F-Gn one in m. 18/34, the one in m. 38, and also the one in m. 42 should be above the note (signifying the grace notes resolve into the upper note, not the bottom one)
- Ab in m. 27 beat 4.5 should be natural
- En in m. 38 should be Fb (remove courtesy flat in next measure)
- Don't think I hear the Dn in m. 38 beat 3 RH - I think it's just an eighth note Db instead of 16th note Dn-Db? (Also the Bn should be a Cb)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Zeila

Sunset Express

Quote from: Latios212 on September 23, 2021, 02:15:21 PM- Not too sure I hear where the Bb in the left hand is coming from in m. 17/33? It sounds kinda muddy, and to me the right hand chords sound like they might be better off inverted upwards a bit too
The Bb in m17 was from the sax run, and I don't remember why I did that for m33, but I removed both

Quote from: Latios212 on September 23, 2021, 02:15:21 PM- The G's in the second half of m. 18/34 should be flat
Looks like that was another bug with the mus export because that's in my musx file. I'll try to keep that in mind. Not sure if you also meant the G that's starting the gliss too, but I left that alone to leave it as a white key glissando

Quote from: Latios212 on September 23, 2021, 02:15:21 PM- Not sure if this is a Finale version thing, but the accents should be above the noteheads in m. 24
They are on my end... odd. I tried flipping them again to see if that would consider the positions as manually entered instead of automatic

Quote from: Latios212 on September 23, 2021, 02:15:21 PM- Don't think I hear the Dn in m. 38 beat 3 RH - I think it's just an eighth note Db instead of 16th note Dn-Db? (Also the Bn should be a Cb)
I think it's more of a bend that's in between Db and Dn that resolves on beat 3.25, but I'll just leave it as an eighth Db

Quote from: Latios212 on September 23, 2021, 02:15:21 PM- The Eb in m. 15 beat 3.5 should be natural (the one on beat 4 is still flat though)
- Adjust the gliss. going into m. 19 a bit - it doesn't have to be so long and sloped, and could have the right end raised a bit
- m. 23 beat 3.25 eighth note is missing a staccato
- Some slurs need adjusting to not be so curvy - the F-Gn one in m. 18/34, the one in m. 38, and also the one in m. 42 should be above the note (signifying the grace notes resolve into the upper note, not the bottom one)
- Ab in m. 27 beat 4.5 should be natural
- En in m. 38 should be Fb (remove courtesy flat in next measure)
Updated, thanks!

Latios212

Had a quick chat and I fixed the articulation positionings in my Finale 2014, only thing that wasn't a simple reset was the accents in m. 24.

Changes look good, accepting! Thanks~
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle