[GCN] Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness - "S.S. Libra" by Kricketune54

Started by Zeta, August 19, 2021, 07:22:17 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: S.S. Libra
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54

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Kricketune54


Probably the most hauntingly beautiful Pokémon song (couldn't find a good expressive text for that though lol).  I feel like I maybe need to put one on here though, so if anyone has any suggestions please do leave them.

Hope I didn't butcher the time signatures/tempos- this was a really tough one for me to figure out because it is somewhat free feeling in its speed, like wind swirling over desert sands. 

My biggest current problem is I'm not sure how to properly portray several notes in the RH: the last notes of 11 and 12 and the first note of the last triplet in m13.  It seems like there's some sort of brief slowdown and acceleration taking place on those notes- I hope it's not because of the aforementioned time signature being potentially wrong at m8.

Bloop

Cool piece, and nice arrangement!
About the time signatures, everything is correct! You just used 4/4 in these first few bars, but C (common time) in m. 5-7. It's better to be consistent and choose one. I vote for common time ^^
As for tempo markings, you could add "Freely" as a tempo marking at the start. You could also add markings like "Slowly" at m. 8 and "A little bit faster" at m. 11 with the original tempo marking in brackets behind, as something like that is a bit more descriptive than just "play this 2 beats per minute faster", but that's up to you!
I don't really know the context of the game, but maybe something like mournful/lamentoso or sadly/tristement could work? The Italian terms feel a bit forced to me, probably because I haven't encountered them as much.

Anyway, about the arranging stuff:
-m. 1 R.H.:  I'd notate the Gn's as Fx's (F double sharp).
-m. 1-2 R.H.: Instead of having two slurs over 4 notes, you could use one slur over the whole of m. 1 and 2. You can hear the strings playing legato until the end of m. 2 and take a clear break before m. 3.
You could take the slur-game a bit farther than just the first two measures, for example a slur on the two notes in m. 4, over the cello line in m.5 to m. 7, over the last two notes in m. 7, one on the R.H. lines in each bar of m. 8-11, etc. I feel it makes the sheet a bit more elegant and show some connection between the notes.
-m. 3 R.H.: I think flipping the top tie down looks a bit better.
-m. 7 L.H.: Rewrite the two quarter rests as a half rest, put it above the whole note and flip the stems of the last two notes. Flipping the tie of from the previous measure will look better too.
-m. 8: I'd add a mp dynamic marking here.
-m. 11-15: There is a lot of room between the two staffs here, I'd put them a bit closer together so they're less stretched out.
-m. 11: Fn in the L.H. should be E# (because it's the sixth of a G#m6 chord). Also, I believe the last G# in the R.H. is tied to the first one of m. 12.
-m. 13 R.H.: Cn's should be B#'s and Fn's should be E#'s because they're the third and seventh of a C#maj7 chord.
-m. 14 L.H.: I'd add an courtesy accidental on the An.
-m. 14-15: I'd write the tied C#'s in the R.H. as a half note, and the tied notes in the L.H. as a double dotted half note.

Kricketune54

Quote from: Bloop on August 29, 2021, 02:51:34 AMCool piece, and nice arrangement!

Thank you!

QuoteAbout the time signatures, everything is correct! You just used 4/4 in these first few bars, but C (common time) in m. 5-7. It's better to be consistent and choose one. I vote for common time ^^

Good to know, and I have fixed to just common time in those spots

QuoteAs for tempo markings, you could add "Freely" as a tempo marking at the start. You could also add markings like "Slowly" at m. 8 and "A little bit faster" at m. 11 with the original tempo marking in brackets behind, as something like that is a bit more descriptive than just "play this 2 beats per minute faster", but that's up to you!
I don't really know the context of the game, but maybe something like mournful/lamentoso or sadly/tristement could work? The Italian terms feel a bit forced to me, probably because I haven't encountered them as much.

Yeah I thought about it and freely was something I thought might be the best option.  I added Slightly faster at m11, and agree Italian seemed forced so I left any out.

QuoteAnyway, about the arranging stuff:
-m. 1 R.H.:  I'd notate the Gn's as Fx's (F double sharp).
-m. 1-2 R.H.: Instead of having two slurs over 4 notes, you could use one slur over the whole of m. 1 and 2. You can hear the strings playing legato until the end of m. 2 and take a clear break before m. 3.
You could take the slur-game a bit farther than just the first two measures, for example a slur on the two notes in m. 4, over the cello line in m.5 to m. 7, over the last two notes in m. 7, one on the R.H. lines in each bar of m. 8-11, etc. I feel it makes the sheet a bit more elegant and show some connection between the notes.

Made these fixes, lmk if the slur from 5-7 is good though, that's what Finale wanted to default to

Quote-m. 3 R.H.: I think flipping the top tie down looks a bit better.

Finale didn't seem to let me do this unless I put the note in another layer.  Hope that works

Quote-m. 7 L.H.: Rewrite the two quarter rests as a half rest, put it above the whole note and flip the stems of the last two notes. Flipping the tie of from the previous measure will look better too.
-m. 8: I'd add a mp dynamic marking here.

In the reupload can you confirm if the half rest is high enough?  Also, I wasn't sure how get that tie to flip in m8 layer 1.  I tried swapping layers too, but was not successful

Quote-m. 11-15: There is a lot of room between the two staffs here, I'd put them a bit closer together so they're less stretched out.

Okay, I fixed this.  I had them far apart because I thought it was recommended to have a lot of space when you have notes dipping down and symbols close to the bottom part, but I can see how it was too wide.

Quote-m. 11: Fn in the L.H. should be E# (because it's the sixth of a G#m6 chord). Also, I believe the last G# in the R.H. is tied to the first one of m. 12.

Fixed both bits, I had a hard time telling if it was just a quick G# in m11 but I agree it sounds tied after some relistens

Quote-m. 13 R.H.: Cn's should be B#'s and Fn's should be E#'s because they're the third and seventh of a C#maj7 chord.
-m. 14 L.H.: I'd add an courtesy accidental on the An.
-m. 14-15: I'd write the tied C#'s in the R.H. as a half note, and the tied notes in the L.H. as a double dotted half note.

Fixed these bits

Couple other comments: I made some changes to the rhythm's in 12-13 specifically on last note of m12 RH and m13 third to last note.  I think it sounds more accurate to what is going on there in the original, but let me know if you hear otherwise. 

Also, I do want to acknowledge I hear a C# in m14-15 (starting m14 beat one) but I don't think it fits into the piano arrangement with regards to the RH playing melody and LH accompaniment

Bloop

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2021, 01:10:50 PMMade these fixes, lmk if the slur from 5-7 is good though, that's what Finale wanted to default to
It's fine!

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2021, 01:10:50 PMIn the reupload can you confirm if the half rest is high enough?  Also, I wasn't sure how get that tie to flip in m8 layer 1.  I tried swapping layers too, but was not successful
The half rest is good like that, I'd have put it there too. You can swap layers with the Tie Tool in Special Tools: select the bar you want to edit a tie in, select the tie, and press Ctrl+F to swap it.
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Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2021, 01:10:50 PMOkay, I fixed this.  I had them far apart because I thought it was recommended to have a lot of space when you have notes dipping down and symbols close to the bottom part, but I can see how it was too wide.
It looks alright like this!
..although I still find m. 14 and 15 having a lot of space, but there's not that much you can do if you want the dynamics to align with m. 11 and 12. I personally would consider centering the ones in m. 14 and 15 between the two staves, especially because the decrescendo applies to the R.H., though I'm not sure what the general consensus is on this.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2021, 01:10:50 PMCouple other comments: I made some changes to the rhythm's in 12-13 specifically on last note of m12 RH and m13 third to last note.  I think it sounds more accurate to what is going on there in the original, but let me know if you hear otherwise.
I can hear where you're coming from, but I think it's more of a free strings thing than an actual rhythmic thing. I think having them all as straight eighths is a bit easier to read. 

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 29, 2021, 01:10:50 PMAlso, I do want to acknowledge I hear a C# in m14-15 (starting m14 beat one) but I don't think it fits into the piano arrangement with regards to the RH playing melody and LH accompaniment
I actually didn't notice this myself, but now that you've said it, I think adding it could sound pretty well, as it will just stay in the pedal for the rest of the two bars. If you add it on top of the L.H. chord, I think the player can decide if they want to play it with the R.H. or have big enough hands to play it with the L.H.

Also, the PDF file you currently have uploaded is still the old one :p

Kricketune54

QuoteAlso, the PDF file you currently have uploaded is still the old one :p

Gah, that's what happens when you have the PDF open and don't notice

I made all the fixes, but I have included a screenshot below for the record of what I hear 11-13 being played in the RH.  If I had more space I would probably include a performance note stating that the melody rhythm in m11-13 can be played at one's discretion but I guess it's not a big deal

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Bloop


Kricketune54


Bloop

Awesome! With my newfound powers, I abloopve of this.

Latios212

A couple small things:
- Top layer, m. 10 second note should be Dn instead of Cn
- I think the cresc. in m. 12 should end before the barline, without crossing it

Before I get into the other details (system spacing, slurs, tempo marking position, etc.) - a few thoughts about the intro. While what you have is correct timing-wise (except for m. 7, I think), it seems a bit odd that the fluctuating BPM for the intro is roughly twice that of the 12/8 section. This feels kind of off to me since the intro feels more laid-back and free-form than the rest which proceeds at a pretty steady tempo in the 12/8 rhythm.

Compare with this:
You cannot view this attachment.

The pulse would not have a drastic change to the second section, and you'd also have a better picture of where the phrases begin and end (RH from the Fx to the Cn, and from the Dn to the B). Thoughts?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Kricketune54

Quote from: Latios212 on September 12, 2021, 12:31:23 PMA couple small things:
- Top layer, m. 10 second note should be Dn instead of Cn
- I think the cresc. in m. 12 should end before the barline, without crossing it

Fixed


QuoteCompare with this:
You cannot view this attachment.

The pulse would not have a drastic change to the second section, and you'd also have a better picture of where the phrases begin and end (RH from the Fx to the Cn, and from the Dn to the B). Thoughts?

I really like this, and it makes sense from a tempo perspective.  I guess I initially felt like it was quarter notes somewhat hurriedly drifting and slowing down but this makes more sense.  I have reuploaded to reflect this change.  Should the last two bars (i.e. the 7/8 ones) also be changed or are they good as is time sig-wise?

I also did go ahead and do some system spacing adjusting

Latios212

Nice :)

Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 12, 2021, 01:10:37 PMShould the last two bars (i.e. the 7/8 ones) also be changed or are they good as is time sig-wise?
Yeah hm this is a bit strange. I think something like this would make sense to read:
You cannot view this attachment.

Other than that:
- See how it looks after you mess with the last measure, but I would recommend four three-measure systems (with the last one maybe having two) since the spacing is a bit uneven now - the last system is cramped - and there's more vertical space on the page you can use
- After messing with the distribution, check the lower/upper staff distance for each system - the space is rather large in the last system right now
- Write the Cn in m. 2 as part of the upper voice
- Use 4/4 instead of C at the beginning to match m. 3
- Move the tempo marking left a bit in m. 2 to account for the offset introduced by the natural on the C
- Flip the tie between m. 3-4 LH down to point away from the upper layer in m. 4
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Kricketune54

Quote from: Latios212 on September 12, 2021, 05:00:25 PMNice :)
Yeah hm this is a bit strange. I think something like this would make sense to read:
You cannot view this attachment.

Other than that:
- See how it looks after you mess with the last measure, but I would recommend four three-measure systems (with the last one maybe having two) since the spacing is a bit uneven now - the last system is cramped - and there's more vertical space on the page you can use
- After messing with the distribution, check the lower/upper staff distance for each system - the space is rather large in the last system right now

Messed around with this I think result is good

Quote- Write the Cn in m. 2 as part of the upper voice
- Use 4/4 instead of C at the beginning to match m. 3
- Move the tempo marking left a bit in m. 2 to account for the offset introduced by the natural on the C
- Flip the tie between m. 3-4 LH down to point away from the upper layer in m. 4

Fixed this stuff as well.

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot