[3DS] Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon - "Drilbur Coal Mine" by Cashwarrior1

Started by Zeta, August 31, 2021, 06:41:51 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon
Game: Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Drilbur Coal Mine
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Cashwarrior1

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cashwarrior1

!!! Reached the PSMD arrangements ;) Guess I'll have to finish arranging the next ones


Kricketune54

Really liked this one and how you arranged it!  8)

Just had a few things that came to mind:

-m1 what is the etc. indicating?  I'm not familiar with using this, is this for the repeated rhythms of m1-4, and that you should phrase play the same articulations?  I see it was used in other places as well.
-m53 was wondering if the slur was necessary in the RH.  I'd suggest also raising the one on the left hand here given how close it gets to the Ab on beats 1.5 and 4.5.
-D.C. is a bit far to the right

cashwarrior1

Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 25, 2021, 08:02:19 PM-m1 what is the etc. indicating?  I'm not familiar with using this, is this for the repeated rhythms of m1-4, and that you should phrase play the same articulations?  I see it was used in other places as well.
This is used in reference to the articulation. It's just so that the sheet isn't littered with staccato dots.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 25, 2021, 08:02:19 PM-m53 was wondering if the slur was necessary in the RH.
Yeah I slurred the phrases, so it extends to the last note of the phrase.

Updated.

Kricketune54

Gotcha, I now understand the slur.  Thanks for also explaining the etc. usage I'll see if I can incorporate that in my own stuff in the future

One last thing I noticed:

-Change the staccato setting so that they are centered over the notehead.  I think this only will apply for m47 though so it's pretty small

Looking forward to seeing this sheet go up it sounds fun though I might have a hard time with some of the two layer parts haha


Bloop

Nice work on this one! It seems hard to make the different layers really work together, but I think you managed pretty well.
Anyway, some of my comments:
-m8 and 16, R.H.: The Db on beats 2.75 in the second voice should be C's
-I hear something like this in m30:
You cannot view this attachment.
-From m47 to m54, it might be better to just leave out the melody in the L.H., as it clashes with the chords in a lot of places. Pretty much every long note has to be restriked for the chords to work. If you leave out the melody, you can just copy the L.H. pattern of m55-62, as it's the same thing.
-As for the etc.'s, I usually like to go at least two measures of showing a pattern before hiding the accidentals, but if you prefer having it to one measure, that's fine too. It may be worth though to also place an etc. at the end m5 (or 6) and unhide the accidentals of m5 (and 6), as this is visually a different pattern. The player will probably figure out the L.H. has to be staccato here too, but it's worth being sure.
Also, technically you could use the Italian description "simile" ('the same') instead of etc., but either way is fine too.

cashwarrior1

Quote from: Bloop on October 01, 2021, 05:55:34 AM-As for the etc.'s, I usually like to go at least two measures of showing a pattern before hiding the accidentals, but if you prefer having it to one measure, that's fine too. It may be worth though to also place an etc. at the end m5 (or 6) and unhide the accidentals of m5 (and 6), as this is visually a different pattern. The player will probably figure out the L.H. has to be staccato here too, but it's worth being sure.
Also, technically you could use the Italian description "simile" ('the same') instead of etc., but either way is fine too.
Ah, I'm going to leave it as just one measure since there's a lot of moments where I put that.
Once I shared a sheet with a streamer and it had a bunch of articulations and he said that I didn't have to put it constantly and should just write etc. lol. Though I think simile does work better so I switched them.

Updated.

Bloop

Alright! A very minor thing is that the R.H. in m16 could use a slur too, but aside from that it looks good to me!

cashwarrior1


Bloop


Latios212

This is looking great! Overall I think the two layers combined into chords into the left hand gets a little bit muddy/awkward to read sometimes (mostly on the first page), but I think overall it works.

- Move the similar below the staff on the second system to indicate it applies to the left hand only there (as opposed to the first system where everything is staccato). These would also probably be better at the beginning of the second measure in the system instead of at the end of the first.
- The above also goes for m. 31 (may be nicer in m. 32 below the staff) and 48 (m. 49 between staves).
- I think the left hand part plays Bb's instead of C's in m. 16?
- A crescendo in m. 21-22 might be nice
- For m. 34 and m. 42 (and in any of your other sheets where you have a rolled chord at the beginning of the measure) - I would suggest using the measure tool to add a bit (0.05") of space at the beginning of the measure so you have room to give the squiggly line a bit more space.
- Flipping the slur upwards in m. 45-46 would make it clearer that it's not a tie between the low Db's
- Don't think I hear the G in the second chord in m. 45?
- The offbeat eighth rests in m. 47-54 are all a bit too low - nothing preventing them from being at their normal center staff height.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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cashwarrior1


Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Zeta