[MUL] Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! - "Piece by Piece" by Latios212

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Piece by Piece
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212

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[Latios212]

making maelstrom proud through extensive use of tenths (they're easily rollable)

[Zeila]

This looks pretty clean! Not much to say from me except for optional suggestions

- m1-8 it sounds like the RH doubles octaves on the first notes of each measure, but it makes sense if those were deliberately omitted for simplicity/feel
- m6/7 I don't think it would be too terrible to switch over to treble clef so the second chords could be raised an octave (as you wrote it that way in 14/15), but if you disagree then that's fine
- m9-16 there's an additional echo in the melody, and you could write that in by doubling an octave below and using roll markings on all of the melody notes

[Bloop]

Definitely pretty clean! I have one more suggestion to make:
There's this chromatic line in m6-8 and 14-16 that goes down from D to B and then finish on C, which could be nice to include... Although it'd be less optimal in your sheet. You can either add it in the L.H., but this causes a few chords to be 4 notes instead of 3 and make the chords in 14-16 very arpeggiated:
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Or, if you include the lower octaves on m1-8 per Zeila's suggestion, you could add it to the R.H., but it would force some gracenote-y playing:
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You could also move it up an octave in the R.H., but then it goes above the melody on beat 3 of m7, which could cause it to get mistaken for the melody note. Anyway, these are all just suggestions: it might also just be better to not worry too much about this chromatic line and just keep the chords as clean tenths.

Aside from that, the only thing I can really comment on is that the p dynamic marking in the first measure probably has enough space or could get enough space to be centered under the first note, instead of shifted to the left.

[Latios212]

Thanks Zeila and Bloop for taking a look! Sorry I've been rather busy the past week.

Not to appear super resistant to making changes on this one, but overall I'd like to keep things as is for simplicity. At its core I feel like this piece (ha) is best represented by a single note melody with chords that aren't too busy. Mostly it comes down to the opinion that making any of these adjustments would change the texture too much given they don't add much in the way of harmony/countermelody.

In particular, writing octaves for some RH notes doesn't add much and I think detracts from the clarity of the single line melody. For the countermelody in the B section, I would rather not cause the chords to grow in size or introduce big gaps in the right hand because again I feel like they would go against the simplicity of the piece. All of those chord tones are pretty much already captured in either the LH or the RH somewhere too.

- m6/7 I don't think it would be too terrible to switch over to treble clef so the second chords could be raised an octave (as you wrote it that way in 14/15), but if you disagree then that's fine

I tried following the motion of the bass here, or at least that down motion for the second chord in these measures is what I feel listening to the original.

- m9-16 there's an additional echo in the melody, and you could write that in by doubling an octave below and using roll markings on all of the melody notes

I think I would prefer to keep the melody as is and just differentiate the B section through changing the texture of the chords by lowering them.

Aside from that, the only thing I can really comment on is that the p dynamic marking in the first measure probably has enough space or could get enough space to be centered under the first note, instead of shifted to the left.

I personally don't like how this stack of symbols looks and would prefer not to increase the staff spacing of the whole system just for this one part, but let me know if you disagree

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[Bloop]

That sounds completely fine to me! As long as you consciously choose to keep it a simple, it's not a problem.

About the p dynamic marking, I don't feel that weird having the first system staff space increased:

Spoiler

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[close]

Though if it really bothers you, you can keep it as is too, it's not like it's ambiguously placed or something.

[Latios212]

That sounds completely fine to me! As long as you consciously choose to keep it a simple, it's not a problem.

Yep ^^

Alrighty, I'll concede that it doesn't look that lopsided with the dynamic there

Updated, thanks again!

[Bloop]

Awesome! Then this'll be the first time I'll use this:
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[Libera]

This is a pretty simple arrangement, but there are a couple of things I noticed.

-It'd be nice to have the Dm7 chords in bars 7, 15 and 17.  Particularly in 17 where you take the 7th rather than the tonic.  Obviously the chord there is inverted but I feel it'd be more consistent with 7 and 15 to have it being D F A at least.
-The rit in 17 is a rather extreme rit to say the least, so it might better to convey that by using a molto rit.

[Latios212]

-It'd be nice to have the Dm7 chords in bars 7, 15 and 17.  Particularly in 17 where you take the 7th rather than the tonic.  Obviously the chord there is inverted but I feel it'd be more consistent with 7 and 15 to have it being D F A at least.

Ah yeah good point. For measure 17 I'll swap out the F in the chord for the missing D. For measure 7 swapping out the F on top for the seventh C sounds good. For m. 15 though I think the seventh above the low root D sounds a bit muddy so I'd prefer to keep that chord as is.

-The rit in 17 is a rather extreme rit to say the least, so it might better to convey that by using a molto rit.

Yep, sounds good!

Updated with the above. Thanks!

[Libera]

Sweet.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot