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Cashwarrior1's Halloween Sheet

Started by cashwarrior1, October 09, 2021, 06:47:35 AM

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cashwarrior1

Plok!
Flea Pit
[musx] [mus] [midi] [pdf]

Had to be quite interpretive on this one in the ladder half. Most notably starting at 47, since it's more percussion focused. I just played a chord for the snare hit and then for the weird sound on beat 2 I put an Eb just to add substance. Also, the melodies for 51-71 are all an octave higher (except the sixteenth note rune) so they do not interfere with the left hand.

So I used this upload to arrange it, but the audio is detuned (it's quarter tones) so I used the second upload on the bottom to double check everything.



Bloop

What a weird song lol, nice work though!

Before I get to the details, I wanna say some stuff about the harmony of the piece. The Abm chord starting at m47 is the first time there's a clear tonic: everything before that is preparation for this Abm tonic. I personally think you can put a key signature at the start of the Laid Back part (m23) already though, as everything between that and m45 makes sense in Abm too.
But, here's the dilemma: Abm/G#m is a bit of an annoying key to work with. Abm has 7 flats at the key signature, which is quite a lot of flats to keep track off. You can change it to G#m too, but that has some double sharps that aren't as pleasing either (most notably in the V chord, D# major (D# Fx A#). I personally don't mind the double sharps as much, so my preference would be G#m, but I'll let it up to you if you wanna go Abm or G#m.
In this case, everything from m23 should work itself out fine enharmonically: you currently have both E major (from the key G#m) and Eb minor (from the key Abm), but changing the key signature and checking "Hold notes to original pitches [enharmonically]" should fix that. In m47-50, you might want to look at what you prefer with the minor seconds though.
Depending on what key you choose, you will have to think about m9-22 though (except for m11-12). These chords are all preparations for the Abm/G#m too, but they feel a bit weirder as you're coming from an Em chord. You could maybe put the key signature at m13 (instead of m23), but that creates a visual division between m1-12 and m13-22 that shouldn't really be there. If you put the key signature at m23, the chords in m13-22 have to be enharmonically equivalent to that key signature too: so either change the chord progression to D#m - Em - D#m - C#m - D# - C#m - D# if you go with a G#m key, or Ebm - Em - Ebm - Dbm - Eb - Dbm - Eb if you go with a Abm key.

Anyways, details (notes after the key change will be written as "[in G#m] (or [in Abm])"):
-m1-6: I hear the tremolo strings here a semitone lower than you have written, though I hear the L.H. as you have it. Also, I hear a high D# in m6 instead of the F (which would be E). Also also, I'd write Eb in the L.H. in m4 as D#. There are also some enharmonic spelling stuff I'd change in the first few measures of the R.H. (before you change them to something different).
tl;dr: i hear this and would write it like this:
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-m12: I'd write the Bb's in the L.H. as A#'s.
-m27: Add a slur from the grace note to the A# (or Bb)
-m34: The run starting at beat 3 is actually a chromatic run at twice the speed, starting a semitone higher than the note before. Writing this exactly would probably be either impossible or very hard to play, but you can change the run to a chromatic run from B (or Cb) up to the B (or Cb) an octave higher in the next bar.
-m35: I think I hear an A# (or Bb) a semitone below the top note too. I'd remove the E (or Fb), as this note is in the bass too, and add the A# (or Bb). You could also add a tie from the last note of the chromatic run to the first chord of this bar.
-m37: I hear the F# (or Gb) as the highest note in this chord, so I'd remove the top note and add another F# (or Gb) on the bottom.
-m59-62: I think you can write this whole part up an octave too, like you did with the melody before and after this bar. It'll make the octave jumps before m59 and after m62 a bit less jarring.
-m60: The G in beat 3.75 should be F# (or Gb).
-m61: The C in beat 1.5 should be B (or Cb), the Bb on beat 2 should be A (or Bbb) and the G in beat 3 should be F# (or Gb)
-m71 and on: I think you can add an accent to beats 3 too, as well as a diminuendo marking for the delay effect (like you did in m23). You could also even add a pedal marking, as I think this delay-ish effect works better with pedal, but that's up to you!

cashwarrior1

Quote from: Bloop on October 10, 2021, 06:43:32 AM-m27: Add a slur from the grace note to the A# (or Bb)
I can never remember to do this 😫

Updated. (And in the group dropbox)

Bloop

Nice work! Just a few more things that I noticed:

-m48-50: Some tremolo beams here are really short, you can extend them with the Beam Extension Tool (under Special Tools)
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-m59-62: You kinda took the easy way out putting an 8va here lol, but I think it's fine to just move the notes up an octave and delete the 8va. There are some high ledger lines stuff but it's just managable (it's not like you don't have more than 3 ledger lines somewhere else)
Speaking of ledger lines though,
-m62: You could add an 8vb to the low Eb in the L.H. (and move the note up an octave of course), as this one is pretty low to read out of nowhere.

cashwarrior1

Quote from: Bloop on October 10, 2021, 11:30:17 AMNice work! Just a few more things that I noticed:

-m48-50: Some tremolo beams here are really short, you can extend them with the Beam Extension Tool (under Special Tools)
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Oh that's a cool feature lol

Quote from: Bloop on October 10, 2021, 11:30:17 AM-m59-62: You kinda took the easy way out putting an 8va here lol, but I think it's fine to just move the notes up an octave and delete the 8va. There are some high ledger lines stuff but it's just managable (it's not like you don't have more than 3 ledger lines somewhere else)
hehe

Updated.

Bloop


Static

This is quite a sheet, that's for sure. Let's see what's going on here...
  • You forgot to list the developer in the copyright (Software Creations). You just have the publishers listed, but developer is just as (actually probably more) important.
  • Some of your (de)crescendos on page 1 are a bit inaccurate. For example, in m9-10, the music decrescendos through the first half of m10, then crescendos around beat 3 of m10. There's a few more spots like this as well.
  • m23-24, 27-28, 31-32 RH: These Fb major chords are actually Fbmaj7 chords, so you can move the Fbs to Ebs instead (since Fb is already doubled in the bass).
  • m25-26 RH: The top note on all these chords should be Gb instead of Bb (basically it should look like m37-38). I think Bloop had mentioned this too.
  • m34 RH: Unless you want to beam them a little differently, those 16th note triplets should just be 16th note sextuplets.
  • m35-36 RH: Instead of doubling the Cb on top, I'd suggest removing it and putting an Eb above the lower Cb. This helps complete the Fmaj9#11 chord here.
  • m47-50 RH: So, there are two chromatically moving voices here, but they actually both go down in pitch at slightly different speeds. They start at the beginning of m47 as Eb-Dn (as you have written), but by the end of m50 they're a minor 3rd apart (F#-A). Both of these pitches are actually a bit higher than where you ended at m50. I would rework this section with perhaps longer tremolos that gradually get wider intervals, but making sure the start and ending points are accurate is the most important.
  • m50 RH: This slides back up to m47 on the repeat, so you could put a glissando here and write a note saying "1x only" or similar.
  • m47-78 LH: Instead of using discrete chords, you could use low LH clusters (see this or this as examples). Or, alternatively, just use really low Abm chords (i.e. move all the current ones down an octave or more). This would allow you to move the RH melody down to its correct octave as well.
  • m51/55: Don't cross beat 3 in 4/4 time! The dotted half notes should be quarter notes tied to 8th notes for all measures with that rhythm.

cashwarrior1

Quote from: Static on October 17, 2021, 06:20:51 PM
  • Some of your (de)crescendos on page 1 are a bit inaccurate. For example, in m9-10, the music decrescendos through the first half of m10, then crescendos around beat 3 of m10. There's a few more spots like this as well.
I originally just made them every measure because I figured it'd be easiest for the player to get across, though I've changed the ones I felt would benefit from the longer decrescendo.

Quote from: Static on October 17, 2021, 06:20:51 PM
  • m47-50 RH: So, there are two chromatically moving voices here, but they actually both go down in pitch at slightly different speeds. They start at the beginning of m47 as Eb-Dn (as you have written), but by the end of m50 they're a minor 3rd apart (F#-A). Both of these pitches are actually a bit higher than where you ended at m50. I would rework this section with perhaps longer tremolos that gradually get wider intervals, but making sure the start and ending points are accurate is the most important.
This was a little confusing, but I made the first and last ones correct then juts moved up chromatically in reverse. I also made it gradually (somewhat) speed up in a simple way so it wouldn't be too confusing to look at.

Quote from: Static on October 17, 2021, 06:20:51 PM
  • m47-78 LH: Instead of using discrete chords, you could use low LH clusters (see this or this as examples). Or, alternatively, just use really low Abm chords (i.e. move all the current ones down an octave or more). This would allow you to move the RH melody down to its correct octave as well.
That I would like to do, but I have absolutely no idea how to notate that. So for now I just put the chords down an octave.

Updated.

Static

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 17, 2021, 07:21:46 PMThat I would like to do, but I have absolutely no idea how to notate that. So for now I just put the chords down an octave.
The way I did it was through the Custom Line Tool. Click the Smart Shape Tool, and the toolbar appears will have an icon on the far right (or bottom if it's vertical) side. This is the Custom Line Tool, and to access the menu you have to ctrl+click it.

At the bottom of the window, click Create. This will bring up the Smart Line Designer. At the top left Line Style dropdown menu, choose Solid. Make sure Horizontal is unchecked. The thickness I used was 0.0625, but you could go thicker. Then, make sure all the values are set to 0 (all ten boxes), and choose None for both End Point styles.

Now you can choose that line by selecting it from the Custom Line Tool menu and create short vertical bars.

I think Bloop did it another way, but I don't actually know how they did it. It might be easier to do than this, so maybe ask later.

Bloop

Quote from: Static on October 17, 2021, 07:53:16 PMI think Bloop did it another way, but I don't actually know how they did it. It might be easier to do than this, so maybe ask later.
Yeah I did it differently, but your way is a lot easier. I changed the noteheads to black squares, but they didn't always align vertically, so I spend a bit of time adjusting each of them by a few pixels which took some work.

cashwarrior1

Okay I went ahead and changed them to clusters except at 71.

Updated.

Static

Sounds good! I think I'll accept now, nice work on this.