This one is weird in that it somehow manages to sound both cute and spooky at the same time.
Haha it wouldn't be Harvest Moon without a little bit of cuteness!
-I feel like there has got to be a nicer way to write out the part in bars 11-12 with the triplets. The way the two layers interact together is kind of confusing and requires a lot of deciphering. I think if you went to using sextuplets rather than triplets and wrote both parts in one layer it would be a lot clearer how they interact together.
-Another thing about 11-12 is that I think they need a bit more space. Some of the bars in this piece are far less dense so we can up the number of bars per system elsewhere to get some more room. If you want to stay on one page then something like 6-5-5-8-7 seems to work pretty well, although there are probably other solutions. This will be even more necessary with sextuplets.
-Another x2 thing about 11-12 is that I think the D# on beat 3 of bar 11 should be on beat 3.33 instead i.e. not at the same time as the C# above it.
-Another x3 thing about 12: I think this string 'scream' on beat 4 could probably be better represented. It has a sort of diminished sound to it when I listen, particularly as it ends on an A on beat 1 of the following bar (which you could also add). Have you tried something more like an A -> D# -> A roll rather than the Dn -> D# thing? Again, something to try out.
This part gave me
a lot of trouble - I probably spent as much time trying to transcribe those two bars than the entire rest of the arrangement. I'll just respond to all of this at once:
-I did originally consider writing it out in triplets, which I did again here - does it work this way or would sextuplets be better?
-Spacing is fixed.
-The rhythms in this bar are so hard to hear, but yeah I think you might be right about that.
-Oops I totally meant for the bottom note to be a D# instead of a Dn. However, I think the roll you suggested sounds better anyways so going with that.
-In bar 13-15 these low strings also have a diminished tone i.e. you are missing a C#. You could just add it in between the G octaves you currently have and it would probably sound appropriately creepy.
Done, I like how much more punchy it makes those low hits sound!
-Missing Fs in the chords in bars 16-21. You could just add them in the right hand as it's a doable stretch. Also missing Ds and you could add these to the left hand.
Also done, that sounds a lot fuller now. Thanks!
-The notes in bar 22-23 sounds like A -> G and then F A -> D G thirds, rather than D -> C then D -> C.
The only issue I have here is that the D doesn't sound right to me in the last one. Did you mean E-G instead of D-G?
All the other little note things are fixed. This was a bit of a weird one so thanks so much for the help!