[SW] Metroid Dread - "Ferenia" by Kricketune54

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Metroid
Game: Metroid Dread
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Ferenia
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Kricketune54]

They kept playing the first few notes of this in basically every trailer for this game... this ended up being my favorite area theme

Lot of things I'd like to note with this arrangement, because in order to get it to work, there were a lot of decisions that were made along the way to simplify parts or to make sure things didn't feel too empty.  Overall, I feel pretty confident about the melody notes, and gave it my all on the chords and accidentals.

m.1 - would consider dropping one of the C notes to make it easier, and lighter sounding.  I hear two octaves, so I am leaving in until further feedback.

m.5- this LH pattern includes some changes. It features some mixing of octaves and instruments from the original, specifically pulling up the low strings/piano notes an octave.  Additionally, the E on beat 4.5 in the left hand is the timpani note.
    -Another note about m.5 and this pattern that repeats throughout the song- the G on beat 3 in the LH is a low voice part that is technically a quarter note on each beat, but I include it here to fill the space left by the rest that is in the other original parts that make up the LH part.  If a rest on beat 3 sounds better to others though, I will remove this throughout the song.

m.8 the top layer that starts here is the string line in the original at this part, but pulled down an octave.

m.10 I put the F# in the LH so that the G top layer can be played in the RH here.

m.12-13 and 16-17- Does this lose too much energy without the walking quarter part present?  I went with a partial quarter line that is down an octave from the original.  To me this is the weakest part of the arrangement from an energy standpoint.

m.32- The RH chords are all the heard non-percussion notes (percussion represented by LH tremolo), shifted and pulled up where applicable to put the C and G on top of each cluster (as they are heard).

m.33-m.38 this LH is another hybrid sort of part, combining the string notes and bass notes that felt like they fit together the best.

m.39-m.42 I went for a bit of a bass heavier approach, as the bass notes kind of take the focus off of those 16th note string runs that are in this section until m.43.

m.44 the A in layer 2 beat 3 technically is a half note, but I didn't think it was necessary to have it as a half note considering the Eb on beat 4 doesn't make sense to have a whole third layer devoted to it

m.46 I hear a Bb3 in the RH- moved to Bb4 so it was playable for the RH

m.46 The LH here until m.50 I do hear lower octave notes on beats 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, 4.0.  I did not split into two layers like m.39-m.42 because I felt like it was easier to read this way for m.46

m.49 There is a lot going on with the vocal parts, so much so that if you were transcribing, this would be three separate voices.  However, it looked awful busy when I tried to be that accurate, so I decided to play around with some of the note lengths in an attempt to capture the feel of the pitches holding and changing together.  For example, layer 2 in m.49 should just be a dotted half and a quarter.  I added a quarter A on beat 2 and a quarter A and F on beat 3 to represent some of the held chords here.  The reason I didn't have them in the top layer was that they change pitches on beat 1 of m.50. 

I know that is a lot; this is probably my most ambitious arrangement yet, but I hope having these notes makes going through this arrangement and understanding some of the decisions significantly easier.


More readable version of these notes


Update 11/8: fixed a chord that had an incorrect note, also changed a few pitches from sharps to flats and vice versa where deemed appropriate, and also made sure there was a double bar line for the D.S symbol before m.4

[Bloop]

Nice work on this one! There's some heavy dissonant stuff going on, really cool track!

-Your current .musx file seems to be outdated, as it has some differences from the mus and pdf :p
-m2-3:
  -Maybe you could move the C's in m2 beats 2.5-2.75 from the L.H. to the R.H. (so there's octaves in the R.H.), so the L.H. has a bit more time to jump to the Ab.
  -Also, you could rewrite the whole note at m2 beat 1 as a half note, as the notes themselves will be restruck by the R.H. anyway.
  -The tie in m2 L.H. beat 3 should be flipped downwards.
  -Maybe you could add a pedal marking from m2 beat 3 to the end of m4?
  -I'd rewrite the Gb's in m3 R.H. beat 3 as F#'s, so it makes a bit more sense next to the F#-G dyad before.
-m4 and 8: I hear an Eb below the chord on beat 1. In m8 you might wanna add this in the L.H., so the R.H. doesn't have to stretch as much.
-m5 (and similar), L.H.: I think I do prefer leaving out the beat 3 G, as it creates a gap in that range that's also there in the original. Also, I hear the timpani En as an Eb.
-m6 and 10: I hear a C# in the chord on beat 3.
-m7 (and similar), L.H.: I hear both the E on beat 2.5 and the Ab on beat 4 as a G
-m8: You can rewrite the Cb in the R.H. in beat 3 as B, like you did in m4 and 8.
-m13: I think you can rewrite the dotted half note G in the R.H. as a half note and a quarter rest, as it's not possible to hold it while playing the lower part.
-m14: The F# and G# should be written as a Gb and Ab (like in m6). Also, I don't think I hear a F# (or Gb) on beat 3, but a G and maybe an Eb below.
-m15 and 19: This C is supposed to be the bell right? I hear it as a G, but maybe a D would be better as both G's above and below the C are taken by the strings.
-m19: I don't hear the last note of the L.H. doing anything different than it was doing, so I still hear this as a An
-m20-27: I think it's better if you put the R.H. second layer notes in the L.H., as the R.H. can't hold it with the higher octave notes that come afterwards.
-m32: I think I'd separate these two notes from the slur from the one in m28-31, as it's not possible to play this bar connected from the previous, and I hear this as more as an add-on than a continuation of the phrase. I may even prefer having m28-29 and m30-31 under two separate slurs, as it's two times the same phrase, but if you wanna keep it as one, make sure the slur doesn't touch the clef at m30.
-m33 (and similar): I hear the D in the L.H. on beat 3.25 as a Db. Also, the Gb at the end could maybe be written as a F# (so it leads to the G in the next bar)
-m34 (and similar): Maybe you could add a courtesy Bn at beat 2.75, as this could easily be mistaken for a Bb considering the rest of these two bars. Also, I hear C-Db-C-Eb at beat 4.
-m43: I hear an Eb below the chord on beat 1 hear too. Maybe you could add pedal marks (or con pedale) to these 3 bars, as that'd take care of holding some of the lower choir chord notes and it fits well with the harp.
-m44: I'd rewrite some of these accidentals like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
I also added a low D to the chord on beat 2. Having this D does make the Eb less alone in a third layer :p I also added a courtesy accidental in the L.H. on beat 1.5 to differentiate it from the Eb the bar before, as well as making it look a little bit more like the R.H., as these are all pretty much the same chords.
-m45: I hear an En in the chord on beat 1. Also, maybe you could add parentheses to either the R.H. or L.H. Bn on beat 3, as this is the same note being played by both hands. Double also, I think the Eb in the second layer on beat 4 should be an En.
-m46-48: In the L.H., I'd either go with all G#'s as Ab's or all Ab's as G#'s, it looks a bit weird to interchange them like this.
-m46: I hear an Ab below the chord on beat 4.
-m48: I'd rewrite the Bb in beat 4 as an A#, as these three layer 1 notes are really cluttered and nearly unreadable. There is a different way to writing altered unisons, but I currently don't know how to do that exactly in finale.

I'll probably take another closer look at these last few bars another time, but I think you have most of the stuff down correctly.

[Kricketune54]

-Your current .musx file seems to be outdated, as it has some differences from the mus and pdf :p

Ugh I can't believe I did that lol

-m2-3:
  -Maybe you could move the C's in m2 beats 2.5-2.75 from the L.H. to the R.H. (so there's octaves in the R.H.), so the L.H. has a bit more time to jump to the Ab.
  -Also, you could rewrite the whole note at m2 beat 1 as a half note, as the notes themselves will be restruck by the R.H. anyway.
  -The tie in m2 L.H. beat 3 should be flipped downwards.
  -Maybe you could add a pedal marking from m2 beat 3 to the end of m4?
  -I'd rewrite the Gb's in m3 R.H. beat 3 as F#'s, so it makes a bit more sense next to the F#-G dyad before.

Updated m2-3 to represent these changes, hid the half rest on beat 3-4 in the top layer of m.2.  I did put the pedal mark at the end of m4 but to confirm is that where you wanted it to go?  Also, should the second (red layer) layer of m2 in the RH beat 3 be flipped up?  Also

-m4 and 8: I hear an Eb below the chord on beat 1. In m8 you might wanna add this in the L.H., so the R.H. doesn't have to stretch as much.

Added

-m5 (and similar), L.H.: I think I do prefer leaving out the beat 3 G, as it creates a gap in that range that's also there in the original. Also, I hear the timpani En as an Eb.

I've sometimes had trouble with low timpani pitches, fixed.  And I'm glad that you also prefer to leave it out; I felt that way as well but wanted to leave in at the time just in case.

 

-m6 and 10: I hear a C# in the chord on beat 3.

Added

-m7 (and similar), L.H.: I hear both the E on beat 2.5 and the Ab on beat 4 as a G

Fixed, should the G on beat 4 move up an octave?  Just wanted to check if those should be the same G on both beats

-m8: You can rewrite the Cb in the R.H. in beat 3 as B, like you did in m4 and 8.

Oh darn I thought I got these all (I had them originally as Cb), fixed

-m13: I think you can rewrite the dotted half note G in the R.H. as a half note and a quarter rest, as it's not possible to hold it while playing the lower part.

Yeah the intention was more for accuracy of the rhythm but I have fixed this.  Also did the same for m17

-m14: The F# and G# should be written as a Gb and Ab (like in m6). Also, I don't think I hear a F# (or Gb) on beat 3, but a G and maybe an Eb below.

Ah so this was actually written as a D#.  I have made it an Eb (the G was already present)

-m15 and 19: This C is supposed to be the bell right? I hear it as a G, but maybe a D would be better as both G's above and below the C are taken by the strings.

Listening again I think I was hearing the decay after the G.  Do you think it's necessary to show the bell sound?  I guess I'm not too attached to having it in as it was a bit of a late addition; not a huge fan of the D (did not add but removed the C layer)

-m19: I don't hear the last note of the L.H. doing anything different than it was doing, so I still hear this as a An

Fixed

-m20-27: I think it's better if you put the R.H. second layer notes in the L.H., as the R.H. can't hold it with the higher octave notes that come afterwards.

Fixed

-m32: I think I'd separate these two notes from the slur from the one in m28-31, as it's not possible to play this bar connected from the previous, and I hear this as more as an add-on than a continuation of the phrase. I may even prefer having m28-29 and m30-31 under two separate slurs, as it's two times the same phrase, but if you wanna keep it as one, make sure the slur doesn't touch the clef at m30.

I have fixed this and made two separate, should the slurs be under or over?  It defaults to under

-m33 (and similar): I hear the D in the L.H. on beat 3.25 as a Db. Also, the Gb at the end could maybe be written as a F# (so it leads to the G in the next bar)

Fixed D to Db, and fixed Gb to F#

-m34 (and similar): Maybe you could add a courtesy Bn at beat 2.75, as this could easily be mistaken for a Bb considering the rest of these two bars. Also, I hear C-Db-C-Eb at beat 4.

Fixed

-m43: I hear an Eb below the chord on beat 1 hear too. Maybe you could add pedal marks (or con pedale) to these 3 bars, as that'd take care of holding some of the lower choir chord notes and it fits well with the harp.

Added the E, and I added con pedale as a text object.  What way do I indicate the con pedale should not continue beyond m45?

-m44: I'd rewrite some of these accidentals like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
I also added a low D to the chord on beat 2. Having this D does make the Eb less alone in a third layer :p I also added a courtesy accidental in the L.H. on beat 1.5 to differentiate it from the Eb the bar before, as well as making it look a little bit more like the R.H., as these are all pretty much the same chords.

Fixed up these chords and notes

-m45: I hear an En in the chord on beat 1. Also, maybe you could add parentheses to either the R.H. or L.H. Bn on beat 3, as this is the same note being played by both hands. Double also, I think the Eb in the second layer on beat 4 should be an En.

Maybe this was wrong on the .musx because it was an En on mine, but I have added the parentheses

-m46-48: In the L.H., I'd either go with all G#'s as Ab's or all Ab's as G#'s, it looks a bit weird to interchange them like this.

I also changed the D# to Eb here, not sure how to make m47 less bunched in the LH

-m46: I hear an Ab below the chord on beat 4.

Fixed

-m48: I'd rewrite the Bb in beat 4 as an A#, as these three layer 1 notes are really cluttered and nearly unreadable. There is a different way to writing altered unisons, but I currently don't know how to do that exactly in finale.

Yeah I like that better, I think was worried too much about what the chord should look like and thought Bb was correct

I'll probably take another closer look at these last few bars another time, but I think you have most of the stuff down correctly.

Okay!  I made some small changes so hopefully not too much else.

[Bloop]

Updated m2-3 to represent these changes, hid the half rest on beat 3-4 in the top layer of m.2.  I did put the pedal mark at the end of m4 but to confirm is that where you wanted it to go?  Also, should the second (red layer) layer of m2 in the RH beat 3 be flipped up?

Oh oops, I meant the end of m3 for the pedal mark, sorry! The stem of m2 beat 3 is fine as is, because it's the bottom layer there.

Fixed, should the G on beat 4 move up an octave?  Just wanted to check if those should be the same G on both beats

The G's is fine there as is, I'm guessing you had it there so it has a little bit of extra punch because of the bass drum/timpani

Ah so this was actually written as a D#.  I have made it an Eb (the G was already present)

Ohh maybe I misread it at first, I probably read it as F#-B-D instead of D#-G-B. I think Eb still fits better tho, so it's alright now!

Listening again I think I was hearing the decay after the G.  Do you think it's necessary to show the bell sound?  I guess I'm not too attached to having it in as it was a bit of a late addition; not a huge fan of the D (did not add but removed the C layer)

I think it's alright to leave it out too, I feel like the bell has more of an percussive effect that could be taken over by the sudden octave G you already have.

I have fixed this and made two separate, should the slurs be under or over?  It defaults to under

Under is fine, if all stems are facing the same way, slurs usually go on the notehead side. It could still go over to leave space for other things (like dynamic markings), but that's not the case here.

Added the E, and I added con pedale as a text object.  What way do I indicate the con pedale should not continue beyond m45?

You can use 'senza pedale' (without pedal). Also, the con pedale could go a little closer to the staff, it feels a bit far away.

Maybe this was wrong on the .musx because it was an En on mine, but I have added the parentheses

I actually meant the parentheses on the Bn on beat 3, not the Bb on beat 4.25. This Bb does get played in the R.H. too on beat 4, but that will get held by the pedal, so I don't think those parentheses are necessary.

I also changed the D# to Eb here, not sure how to make m47 less bunched in the LH

You can use the Measure Tool, then click the top box on the right of m47, and drag it a bit to the right. This increases the space that m47 takes up in the system.
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Here are my last comments:
-m45: You could possible at a courtesy natural at the top An in beat 4.5, as this bar is filled with Ab's.
-m47: I think I hear a C too on beat 3, above the A, but it's a bit subtle: if you include it, it might be too present, so I can understand if you'd rather leave it out.
-m49: I'm not sure if you changed G#'s here to Ab's too, but I actually think those would work better as G#, because we're coming from an An now. Maybe you could add courtesy accidentals to the An's on beat 1 too actually.
-m50: I don't hear a separate attack on beat 4 by the choir or the high F#, so I think you could just write beat 3 as a half note F-Gb-Bn. I think I'd actually leave out the high F#, because lowering it by an octave changes how it's perceived. It could sound like the choir part is moving up a 5th from the Bn. If you really wanna keep it in though, I'd write it as a Gb because you have a Gb an octave lower too. The chord itself is a bit stretchy but still playable for my hands.
-m46-48: I'm actually doubting if it'd be better to change the An's in these 3 measures to Bbb and the Bn in m47 as Cb. I usually prefer keeping away from double flats unless absolutely necessary, because they're generally less readable than naturals. However, I currently feel some of the context of the intervals gets lost, like the 1-2-1-3 figure in m47 beat 2. I'll let you decide what you prefer though! (it also fixes the bunchiness of m47 :p)

[Kricketune54]

You can use 'senza pedale' (without pedal). Also, the con pedale could go a little closer to the staff, it feels a bit far away.

I have added senza pedale to m46, and also moved the con pedale closer to m43.

I actually meant the parentheses on the Bn on beat 3, not the Bb on beat 4.25. This Bb does get played in the R.H. too on beat 4, but that will get held by the pedal, so I don't think those parentheses are necessary.

Okay I have put it on Bn beat 3

-m45: You could possible at a courtesy natural at the top An in beat 4.5, as this bar is filled with Ab's.

Added

 

-m47: I think I hear a C too on beat 3, above the A, but it's a bit subtle: if you include it, it might be too present, so I can understand if you'd rather leave it out.

Yeah I can hear that now that you mention, though I had to pitch down lol. I think I would like to leave it out for being too present and I think having it repeat like that doesn't fit imo

-m49: I'm not sure if you changed G#'s here to Ab's too, but I actually think those would work better as G#, because we're coming from an An now. Maybe you could add courtesy accidentals to the An's on beat 1 too actually.

I did I have reverted these to G# though

-m50: I don't hear a separate attack on beat 4 by the choir or the high F#, so I think you could just write beat 3 as a half note F-Gb-Bn. I think I'd actually leave out the high F#, because lowering it by an octave changes how it's perceived. It could sound like the choir part is moving up a 5th from the Bn. If you really wanna keep it in though, I'd write it as a Gb because you have a Gb an octave lower too. The chord itself is a bit stretchy but still playable for my hands.

With this- the F# on beat 4 was intended to replicate the high squeak by the strings (though that actually starts on beat 3; it doesn't really build up in volume till beat 4, and I didn't think it was possible to play on beat 3).  I do hear a clear Fn annunciated on beat 4 of m50 though... I've kinda taken a both worlds approach with your feedback: Gb and Bn are half notes in top layer, and there is an Fn on beat 3 and on beat 4 in the bottom layer.  The Fn is much less pronounced in beat 3 though in the original from what I can tell

-m46-48: I'm actually doubting if it'd be better to change the An's in these 3 measures to Bbb and the Bn in m47 as Cb. I usually prefer keeping away from double flats unless absolutely necessary, because they're generally less readable than naturals. However, I currently feel some of the context of the intervals gets lost, like the 1-2-1-3 figure in m47 beat 2. I'll let you decide what you prefer though! (it also fixes the bunchiness of m47 :p)

I'm not sure I fully understand this feedback- is it intended for the left hand specifically or both left and right?  It sounded like this was for the LH but wanted to be sure; I only changed the LH here in the updated files. With this change, I really didn't move around m45-47 with the measure tool because it ultimately wasn't as bunched as before

[Bloop]

I'm not sure I fully understand this feedback- is it intended for the left hand specifically or both left and right?  It sounded like this was for the LH but wanted to be sure; I only changed the LH here in the updated files.

Yeah I meant specifically the L.H., what you have is what I meant! The last thing I can say is that the first L.H. An's in m49 could use a cautionary accidental to cancel the Ab before, but aside from that, it looks good!

[Kricketune54]

Added the accidentals to m49 LH

[Bloop]

Nice! I'm not sure if this was like this before, but the last last thing I'll say is that the sharp in m2, R.H., beat 3 is colliding with the note before it. You can fix it by manually moving the placement of beat 3 a bit to the right with the Measure Tool. I'll approve now anyway, feel free to edit it in along with other feedback ^^

[Kricketune54]

Okay!  I have fixed that collision

[Static]

Sorry for the wait on this one

• Maybe use the pedal for all of m1-3. Everything kinda blends together in the original, but in your piece it sounds a lot more separated. You can lift the pedal shortly to convey the releases in the top voice.
• m2 LH beat 3: I think this would sound a lot more imposing if you dropped the Ab an octave (don't add the lower one, just move the current one down). There's plenty of time for the LH to reach it still.
• m5 and similar beat 4.5: The timpani note sounds like a D instead of Eb.
• m7/11/15/19/23/27 LH beat 2.5: The G should be E (natural).
• m7 and similar: The low G here should just be a normal octave G technically (since you basically raised the entire bassline up an octave for most of the sheet). I think it sounds fine as you have it though anyway, but I figured I'd mention it.
  
• m28-31: I hear the bassline a bit differently, as well as some of the chords (m29/31 beat 3 should have a C#). Also, some accidentals I think should be adjusted. In general, try to avoid using diminished or diminished 3rds unless you have to (this applies to m43-50 as well). It's usually less confusing to read this way, and with a piece like this that meanders around so many different tonalities, it's probably better to be more straightforward with your intervals even if they may not technically be the "correct" one sometimes. This is how I would write m28-31 (also move that mezzopiano down a bit):
  
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
  Going off the above point about m7/etc... Watch the octave placements in the bass; listening to the track raised an octave can help reveal the correct octaves and intervals.
• m32: Having the first chord so high up sounds a bit off to me, since it's more in the low-mid register in the original. Why not have the LH play some of the lower notes, while the RH plays some mid-upper notes? That way, both hands would still be reasonably close to the tremolo and chord on beat 2.
• m32 LH: The timpani roll is on Ab here instead of G.
• m44 LH: Since the pedal is held here, you don't need to split all the voices up into their own layers. Just two will suffice (put the D on beat 2 in Layer 1, everything else in Layer 2 as quarter notes).

I think that's everything I have to say here... Good work, this one's a tough one to get down, but I think you got the atmosphere just right.

[Kricketune54]

• Maybe use the pedal for all of m1-3. Everything kinda blends together in the original, but in your piece it sounds a lot more separated. You can lift the pedal shortly to convey the releases in the top voice.

Yeah I like this suggestion.  I felt that way about the intro didn't quite hit that same feeling

• m2 LH beat 3: I think this would sound a lot more imposing if you dropped the Ab an octave (don't add the lower one, just move the current one down). There's plenty of time for the LH to reach it still.

Did this
[/quote] 

• m5 and similar beat 4.5: The timpani note sounds like a D instead of Eb.

[/quote]  Okay this is all taken care of now.  I was able to hear it in the original after seeing this; going from an En to an Eb to a Dn lol... I've had a lot of trouble with timpani pitches when they're hard to pick out like this though.  I think I sometimes miss the actual pitch instead of reverb.

 

• m7/11/15/19/23/27 LH beat 2.5: The G should be E (natural).

Fixed

• m7 and similar: The low G here should just be a normal octave G technically (since you basically raised the entire bassline up an octave for most of the sheet). I think it sounds fine as you have it though anyway, but I figured I'd mention it.

Changed my speaker setup and I guess I thought initially that note must've been an octave lower than the others.  I have put it up an octave so it is inline with the other notes.

[/li][li]m28-31: I hear the bassline a bit differently, as well as some of the chords (m29/31 beat 3 should have a C#). Also, some accidentals I think should be adjusted. In general, try to avoid using diminished or diminished 3rds unless you have to (this applies to m43-50 as well). It's usually less confusing to read this way, and with a piece like this that meanders around so many different tonalities, it's probably better to be more straightforward with your intervals even if they may not technically be the "correct" one sometimes. This is how I would write m28-31 (also move that mezzopiano down a bit):

Spoiler

[close]

Going off the above point about m7/etc... Watch the octave placements in the bass; listening to the track raised an octave can help reveal the correct octaves and intervals.[/li][/list]

I understand on these points.  Probably not going to do something like this one for a while as far as the diminished and stuff goes but I appreciate the information as well as the screenshot.  This now updated section should match up with the screenshot with the mp moved down.  As for octaves definitely looking back was not consistent with pulling things up or keeping at original pitch.

• m32: Having the first chord so high up sounds a bit off to me, since it's more in the low-mid register in the original. Why not have the LH play some of the lower notes, while the RH plays some mid-upper notes? That way, both hands would still be reasonably close to the tremolo and chord on beat 2.

I guess I underestimated the player's dexterity lol.  Updated

• m32 LH: The timpani roll is on Ab here instead of G.

Definitely doesn't sound quite on my ears but I hear the Ab now and have updated

• m44 LH: Since the pedal is held here, you don't need to split all the voices up into their own layers. Just two will suffice (put the D on beat 2 in Layer 1, everything else in Layer 2 as quarter notes).

Okay updated 44.  Files updated

[Static]

Looks good

[Zeta]

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