[PC] Minecraft - "Comforting Memories" by PlayfulPiano

[PlayfulPiano]

Yes this looks a little more like what I was thinking.  I think we can get better though.

-I still think 21-29 can be bigger.  You can put these full alternating C / G7sus4 chords into the right hand, not just single notes.  At the moment it seems kind of arbitrary what else is going into the RH asides the ostinato.
-The crescendo in bar 29 doesn't make any sense.  I would just restrike the chord fully on bar 29 and stop the crescendo there.
-I don't hear the A in the chord in bar 39, although I do hear a C.
-Similarly to 21+, 40-45 can be fuller.  You can add an E in bar 40, an A in bar 42 etc.
-In bar 46-47 this is again the alternating C to G7sus4, as opposed to what you have written in.  At least that's what I hear anyway.
-In bar 52-53 I don't hear the echo at all.  It just sounds like normal piano again.

I fixed up the crescendo, the A/C, added more to 40-45, and I fixed 52-53's end point.

In relation to the C/G7sus4, I'm not 100% sure what should be written for these measures. Could you possibly write out what it's meant to look like in finale?

Otherwise, updated.

[Libera]

Sorry for the wait.  What I mean about 21+ is something like this:

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with the dynamic changed to forte and much much bigger chords.  The piece has a huge sound here and this sort of voicing helps enormously to achieve that on piano.  Obviously this idea then continues in the obvious manner.

In relation to that, the final chord in 29 should again be a G7sus4 i.e. it is missing an F at the top.  Similarly bar 43/44/45 is missing an F.

As I said last time, again we have this C -> G7sus4 sound in 46-47, but it probably shouldn't be voiced quite as brutally as in 21+.  I don't hear the B-D in bar 46 or the B in 47, at least not anywhere as loudly as the chords I mentioned.

I would just make that lower C in bar 40 be in the second layer also, as it's currently causing some collision issues being in layer 1 and I don't think it really makes any difference musically.

You should show the final dynamic at the end.  I also think there could be more dynamics in general on page 3 e.g. at 40/46.

Similarly to in bar 28/29 the crescendo in 20 should probably end at the end of 19.


I think this is fairly close it just needs more consistency in the voicings and dynamics really, as well as some accuracy adjustments.

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[PlayfulPiano]

Bump for arranger.

Hey thank you for bumping this, I just finished with my coop work about a week ago (political election stuff) so I finally have some time to work on this.

Honestly since it's been a few months overall, I took another listen through and did some of the edits you mentioned + a few things I caught on my own, not to mention trying to better incorporate the strings without making the sound as forced (i.e. not having it always play during one of the strings-only sections and rather making it tied into that).

Also quick note but I caught a G7 in m47 (which I've notated as a G6 cue note w/L.H. and a text 8va as to not conflict with the rest of the measure's playback) as well.

As of now the submission is updated.

[Libera]

Honestly since it's been a few months overall, I took another listen through and did some of the edits you mentioned

-You need to take care with the positioning of both layers.  Look again at my picture for 21+ and compare it to yours. 
-Why does the D disappear in bar 26?  Same with the E in bar 27.
-Anywhere you have this beaming of whole note tied to half (like in bar 6/7/14/20/31/32/39 etc.) it should be beamed as dotted half tied to half.
-The dotted half tied to dotted half in bar 38 should be a dotted whole note.
-The pianissimo should be centred below the final note in bar 53, not just after it.

+ a few things I caught on my own, not to mention trying to better incorporate the strings without making the sound as forced (i.e. not having it always play during one of the strings-only sections and rather making it tied into that).

I think some of the edits you have made to the strings have worked cross-purposes to what I was trying to help with earlier and we've now gone back to the problems that were present when I first looked at the sheet.  On paper, 35-39 looks like a slow build up of harmony, whereas in reality it sounds like a B, then two bars later a D, then a bar later a G and a C.  The sound does not sustain anywhere near as much as you might hope on piano, so to get this build-up of harmony to come across you need to restrike the previous notes.  I would recommend restriking the previous notes every time a new note comes into the right hand each bar.


Again, this just needs more consistency in the presentation.  Make sure augmentation dots aren't colliding with notes, centre the dynamics more carefully, etc.

[PlayfulPiano]

-You need to take care with the positioning of both layers.  Look again at my picture for 21+ and compare it to yours. 
-Why does the D disappear in bar 26?  Same with the E in bar 27.
-Anywhere you have this beaming of whole note tied to half (like in bar 6/7/14/20/31/32/39 etc.) it should be beamed as dotted half tied to half.
-The dotted half tied to dotted half in bar 38 should be a dotted whole note.
-The pianissimo should be centred below the final note in bar 53, not just after it.

I think some of the edits you have made to the strings have worked cross-purposes to what I was trying to help with earlier and we've now gone back to the problems that were present when I first looked at the sheet.  On paper, 35-39 looks like a slow build up of harmony, whereas in reality it sounds like a B, then two bars later a D, then a bar later a G and a C.  The sound does not sustain anywhere near as much as you might hope on piano, so to get this build-up of harmony to come across you need to restrike the previous notes.  I would recommend restriking the previous notes every time a new note comes into the right hand each bar.


Again, this just needs more consistency in the presentation.  Make sure augmentation dots aren't colliding with notes, centre the dynamics more carefully, etc.

I think I got all of this.

Updated.

[Libera]

That looks better, but we still need more consistency.

-Why is bar 23 voiced differently to bar 21 etc?
-Layer 2 in bar 27 should be flipped down in the first half of the bar.  Similarly for bar 25.
-Look at the first beat of bars 22, 24 and 26.  They all denote exactly the same notes but all of them look different.  Pick one and stick with it.  I think 24 is how it should look, maybe with the second layer a tiny bit tighter in.  Here's a picture of 25-27 of what I think it should all look like:

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-The RH chord in bar 29 is now misaligned.  Re-enter it.
-The opening dynamic could still be centred a little more neatly.
-Why is bar 43 in separate layers?  Just put it all in one layer so that it aligns more neatly, since I don't think there is any need to distinguish the voices there.
-Can we have the system distribution on pages 2 and 3 be consistent?  At the moment, the systems on page 3 are set much further up the page.


I don't want you to rush the edits.  Make them, and then carefully check that everything is aligned correctly.  Look at the RH vs the LH, look at how the different layers are interacting together.  Getting this right requires a certain amount of care and attention to detail.

[PlayfulPiano]

That looks better, but we still need more consistency.

-Why is bar 23 voiced differently to bar 21 etc?
-Layer 2 in bar 27 should be flipped down in the first half of the bar.  Similarly for bar 25.
-Look at the first beat of bars 22, 24 and 26.  They all denote exactly the same notes but all of them look different.  Pick one and stick with it.  I think 24 is how it should look, maybe with the second layer a tiny bit tighter in.  Here's a picture of 25-27 of what I think it should all look like:

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-The RH chord in bar 29 is now misaligned.  Re-enter it.
-The opening dynamic could still be centred a little more neatly.
-Why is bar 43 in separate layers?  Just put it all in one layer so that it aligns more neatly, since I don't think there is any need to distinguish the voices there.
-Can we have the system distribution on pages 2 and 3 be consistent?  At the moment, the systems on page 3 are set much further up the page.


I don't want you to rush the edits.  Make them, and then carefully check that everything is aligned correctly.  Look at the RH vs the LH, look at how the different layers are interacting together.  Getting this right requires a certain amount of care and attention to detail.

-They aren't? The repeated motif of C - G - B - G is always designated as the 2nd layer throughout m21-m28.
-Thanks for catching that.
-Honestly not sure why that is happening, it's doing whatever finale defaults it to. It's why I didn't catch it initially. Fixed now.
-Same thing happened here, couldn't reenter it to fix it either. Had to use mover tool and do it manually.
-Fixed.
-Mainly to distinguish the melody with the strings (and also it was written with the melody first and the strings as a edit way later).
-Unsure how that happened either, I was using the NSM formatting template as an import so it should've had fixed system margins. I went over and removed all manual adjustments for systems (which seems to have fixed the discrepancy) and fixed any offsets that was caused by that.

Everything is updated and hopefully this covers all the issues left over.

[Libera]

-They aren't? The repeated motif of C - G - B - G is always designated as the 2nd layer throughout m21-m28.

No, I mean the voicing of the chord.  In bar 21 it's voiced C E G C, then in 23 E G C E, then in 25 G C E G.  There's no change in the voicing in the original that I can hear, and it's weird with the position of the chord jumping around compared to the chord in 22/24/26.  Just stick with C E G C like in 21, unless there's something that I'm missing.

-Mainly to distinguish the melody with the strings (and also it was written with the melody first and the strings as a edit way later).

I see you've manually positioned this chord rather than just write it all in one layer, but you've moved it slightly too far to the left.  Just write it in one layer and it'll be perfect.

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Otherwise the edits look good.  Maybe the middle ties could be cleaned up in bar 39 though; just move the second highest up a little.

[PlayfulPiano]

No, I mean the voicing of the chord.  In bar 21 it's voiced C E G C, then in 23 E G C E, then in 25 G C E G.  There's no change in the voicing in the original that I can hear, and it's weird with the position of the chord jumping around compared to the chord in 22/24/26.  Just stick with C E G C like in 21, unless there's something that I'm missing.

Oh, that. Yeah I hear a low E2 being emphasized on bar 23 specifically, which is why it's notated as such. Which also lines up with how m21 has a C2 and m22 has a D2.

I see you've manually positioned this chord rather than just write it all in one layer, but you've moved it slightly too far to the left.  Just write it in one layer and it'll be perfect.

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Otherwise the edits look good.  Maybe the middle ties could be cleaned up in bar 39 though; just move the second highest up a little.

Done with both. Updated.

[Libera]

Oh, that. Yeah I hear a low E2 being emphasized on bar 23 specifically, which is why it's notated as such. Which also lines up with how m21 has a C2 and m22 has a D2.

It's not what I would do, but I think this sheet has had enough back and forth as it is.  If that's how you hear it, sure.

I will accept.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot