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Author Topic: Bookwyrm's Arrangements (A Dubiously Derivant Discography!)  (Read 374 times)

Bookwyrm

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Bookwyrm's Arrangements (A Dubiously Derivant Discography!)
« on: March 01, 2022, 07:11:18 PM »

Well, well, this is exciting, isn't it? I look forward to working with you all! :D
I'll expand upon this as I find things to work on and increase my submissions, but for now, here's my humble selection.

Sheet Music for Review

Quest for Glory 1: "So you want to be a hero?"

Bookworm Adventures

Sheet Music in Progress!
List to come!

Completed Works
Work in progress!
« Last Edit: March 04, 2022, 12:31:19 AM by Bookwyrm »
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Kricketune54

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Re: Bookwyrm's Arrangements (A Dubiously Derivant Discography!)
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2022, 08:19:32 PM »

As mentioned on Discord, here's some feedback for Bookworm Adventures Main Menu Theme

-We usually go by official titles, so the 1 can be dropped from the game title
-Key of C instead of G
-While I know there are dynamic directions later in the piece, it is always preferred to have a dynamic marking for the beginning of the piece, usually centered between the staffs on beat 1.  Forte seems appropriate for this.
-m8 this sounds like it is more of a half note than a whole note
-m9-12 accidentals here aren't quite correct - m9 and 11 are in key of Eb, meaning Eb instead of D#, F instead of E#, and Bb instead of A#.  10 and 12 are in F so switch the E#'s to F here.
-m17-19 Were those lower layers intended to be there?  The rests don't necessarily make sense to have and that layer could be removed
-for the section starting at m17, same feedback about key applies, though in this case we're in Ab.  Swap the sharps for flats
-Now I don't have MuseScore pro, but m17-19 RH part looks like the notes that are played by the triangle are in a separate layer from the melody part.  When there are separate layers like this, the notes on top would stay the same but the stem of the bottom layer would be flipped down.  However, since there isn't a top layer note for beats 3-4 of m17-18, their stem direction can stay as is.
-m17-23 LH doubling the octaves for the harp notes doesn't seem to add much as they're not in the original.  I also find this section is missing some middle pitches, for example beat 2 of m18 has a G under the C, and beat 3 has a C under the E.
-m21-24 I don't really hear that first cresc., but the second one makes sense.  However, for future the goal would be to have a bit more visual alignment between your cresc. so that one isn't higher than the other like it is here.
-m23 that first RH chord should be F-Db-F
-m24 I hear a B in the original, it could go up an octave from its original pitch to be in the RH

Some additional thoughts
-Do you have a source on the composer?  I checked the credits in this vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyUU2i-kLI4 and Reflexive Audio was listed for Music and SFX. 
-What is the LH/accompaniment part emulating exactly in the song?  Just wanted as a point of clarification sounded like it is emulating the drums more in rhythm but matching the pitches of one of the other harmony instruments

   - I don't think this is necessarily a wrong approach for this song, but I would point out that the rhythm  on beat 2.5 sounds more like an eighth note than 2 sixteenths.  On that same thread, the beaming of the notes here is not correct, as the eighth in beat 3 shouldn't be connected to the notes as a part of beat 2.  Check out this article for more of an explainer on note beaming if this is an unfamiliar topic https://www.musicnotes.com/now/musictheory/note-beaming-and-grouping-in-music-theory/

-Is there a reason m17 has no pedal mark?  I would add that for measures with staccatos, having a pedal sustaining through the measure is somewhat pointless for preserving that note length, so my advisory is to remove the pedal markings entirely; I was going to say maybe keep it for 23-24 but to me it doesn't seem necessary and the dynamics change already is accomplishing something.

-Does this song actually have a point at which it ends in a fermata?  The version I listened to continued looping, so the repeat endings don't seem necessary.  Just the repeat sign at the end or a D.S works in this case.

This is a decent first go at this song!  If you plan on submitting, just make sure to follow the formatting and file guidelines   :)
 

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