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[Wii] Mario Kart Wii - "Staff Credits A" by Whoppybones

Started by Zeta, December 28, 2021, 10:11:22 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Mario Kart
Game: Mario Kart Wii
Console: Wii
Title: Staff Credits A
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Whoppybones

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Whoppybones


I have a few notes on this one:
- I know there's a violin E starting in the first measure, but it was impossible to keep and still have the rest be playable, so I removed it.
- In m4, there's a slide type note (in the left hand) that I didn't know how to notate, which is why it's notated the way it is. If there's a better way to do it, please tell me so I can fix it.
- m30 and beyond feel kind of empty to me, partially because I can't hear the bassline super well, and partially because I chose to remove most of the harmony chords to keep it easily readable. If you can help with the bassline, that would be great, and if you think I should add the harmony chords in, let me know.

I love this game, so I look forwards to having this sheet finished and on site for all to enjoy! :D

LeviR.star

Ooh, I've always wondered when we'd get this one. Thanks for taking it on, Whoppy!
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Zeila

This is a good start! I mostly just went over the left hand part

Quote from: Whoppybones on December 28, 2021, 10:15:21 AM- In m4, there's a slide type note (in the left hand) that I didn't know how to notate, which is why it's notated the way it is. If there's a better way to do it, please tell me so I can fix it.
I think it's fine if you want to omit the slide, but maybe you could start lower in pitch and then go up instead of what you have now

Quote from: Whoppybones on December 28, 2021, 10:15:21 AM- m30 and beyond feel kind of empty to me, partially because I can't hear the bassline super well, and partially because I chose to remove most of the harmony chords to keep it easily readable. If you can help with the bassline, that would be great, and if you think I should add the harmony chords in, let me know.
I think it sounds something like this, and I recommend potentially changing things up to include more percussive hits. I also think it would be nice to include some of the harmony chords in the right hand. On suggestion is that you could accent the melody through adding some harmony notes on some of the chord hits (e.g. beat 1/1.75/etc.)
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In the future, assuming you haven't already tried this, I recommend using Audacity or AudioStretch to manipulate songs by raising it up an octave or filtering bass/treble lines just to make it easier to hear basslines

- You could attach text to specific measures by editing the frame attributes and picking the desired measure/staff. That makes it easier to apply formatting changes like different measure distributions or adjusting staff/system spacings
- Speaking of spacing, I think the last two systems on page 1 look a little too close to each other, so you could bump down the last system by a tad. I also think the inner staff spacing of the last system of page 2 is a little too much, and ideally the ends of crescendo hairpins wouldn't touch barlines
- I think it would be nice if you included some more staccato's and grace notes to give it a bit more personality. I pointed out a few spots below, but you should go over the whole song again
- m2/4 I think the B's sound more like A's, just like in m6
- m8 LH beat 4 sounds like E instead of Eb (to clarify, I do hear beat 4.5 as Eb, the full beat just sounds like E->Eb rather than Eb->Eb). I also think the first eighth note sounds staccato
- m10 LH bass note sounds more like C# than Cn
- m12 LH beat 2.75 missing E, beat 4 sounds staccato, and beat 4.5 sounds like a low A note rather than a C#
- m18 LH beat 2.75 I think this F sounds like it should be an octave lower; unsure about this, but I think there is also a low E on beat 3.75
- m19 LH beat 2.75 I also think the A here should be an octave lower
- m20 LH beat 3.75 I think there might be a B here; also beat 4.5 sounds like an E instead of Dn

Whoppybones

The slide has been modified slightly to what I had before changing my mind pre-submission. The problem with the slide is that it goes up and then down, so I wasn't entirely sure the best way to notate it.

Thanks for the help with the left hand, Zeila! There was one part (m32) which I changed slightly from what you had, but I think I did the rest the same. While I'm not certain it sounds completely accurate, at the very least it sounds good, so I'll leave it (especially since I'm bad at hearing it anyways). Yes, I have Audacity, but ngl I have no clue how to use it, so that'll be something I look into for future problems.

As for your notes on the notes I had wrong in various measures, I agreed with most of them. Here's the ones I didn't change:
 - m12 I didn't hear the A, but I did change it to a B
 - m18 I didn't hear the E
 - m20 I had no clue what you were talking about, to be completely honest. If you mean 4.5, which is an F natural (clef change is the beat after), I left it as is, cuz I didn't know what you were hearing there.

Anywho, thanks a lot for the feedback! My piece now feels much more complete (less empty), but is likely still not site-ready. I look forward to more help from you and others in the near future. :D

Bloop

So jazzy, nice work in general figuring all the notes out!

-I would make some suggestions about the placement of the 8va markings for the bass part, but tbh it might just be better remove the 8va markings and have the bass play an octave higher (that is, as it's written now). The lowest octave of the piano sounds very muddy, which makes the notes almost indistinguishable from each other sometimes.
-m1-7: I think you can write the R.H. rhythms a little more like this:
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They're subtle changes, but it comes down to:
-No staccato's on the 16th notes, as you can't really play them legato as repeating notes (though if you really want, you can keep them still)
-Changing the rhythm of the beat 3 to 16th rest - 16th note - 8th rest. It's a little bit easier to read than 16th rest - staccato 8th note - 16th rest.
-m2 and 4: I hear an A here instead of a B in the R.H. chords.
-m11: I think it's a bit clearer to write the R.H. rhythm on beats 3-4 like this:
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-m13: I hear the R.H. note on beat 1.25 shorter (so 16th note + 8th rest, instead of dotted 8th note)
-m14: I also hear the R.H. note on beat 4.75 short (so untied)
-m15: I hear the R.H. beats 3 and 3.5 as staccato, a B instead of the first Cn on beat 4, and the note on beat 4.75 untied.

-m21-29: oh my.. i'll be honest, this doesn't look good. Most notes seem to be correct, but the enharmonic spelling isn't right in most cases and there's some weird stuff with how the layers look (like the start of m23 R.H., the stem directions in m24 L.H., and the rhythmic placing in m25 L.H., and whatever happened at the start of m26 R.H.). There's also some note lengths, rhythmic notations and specific notes that should be fixed. I'll admit it's easy to notate all of this though, because there's a lot of intricate rhythms and harmonic progressions going on. I've made all changes I'd suggest for this section in this file, so you can copy them over. Here's a screenshot with all the changes made:
Spoiler
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I won't make a list of everything I have changed, but if there's something you don't agree with or have some questions about anything, feel free to ask!

Alright, onto the rest of the sheet:
-m30: R.H. beat 4.5 should have a staccato.
-m33: The B on beat 3.5 should be written as a staccato 8th note.
-m35: I believe the A in the R.H. on beat 4 should have a length of an 8th.
-m38-43: I'd write the R.H. chord notes on beats 2.5 and 4 as staccato 8th notes. Also, I'm hearing some extra notes in the middle of these chords: A in m38, B in m39, Cn in m41, and B in m42-43.
-m40: The R.H. chord on beat 1.75 isn't really playable (because of the tenth between C#-E). You could either remove the top E, or add brackets as an option for the large handed ones. I'd do the same with the one on beat 2.5: even though it's a bit more playable, it could sound a bit weird to have the top note of the previous one removed, but not this one.
Other things in this measure: you can delete the bottom rest in the R.H. on beat 3. In the L.H., you can put the note on beat 4.75 in the same layer as the first few notes, as I don't think it matters that much to have the A ring one for this 16th note longer.
-m41: I hear a G# at the end of the bar in the L.H. instead of a C# (luckily, because the A-C# tenth in the next bar is also hard to play).


Whoppybones

Thanks for the feedback, Bloop! Here's my notes on it:
- I removed the 8vbs, but I did include a note on where it should be 8vb for those who want to play it more accurate to the original.
- I rewrote the rhythms. That makes complete sense to me, but I decided to leave the staccatos.
- m2/4 fixed.
- m11 RH edited as suggested
- m13-15 edited as suggested
- m21-29 copied over. I don't know a thing about enharmonic spellings, I just knew what the notes were. Times to use sharps vs flats? No idea. ;D
- Notes "-m30" to "m40": I changed them as suggested. I decided to move the unplayable E down an octave and leave the other one there.
- m41 I hear the G# and I added it in, but I still hear the C# ringing on for several measures, so I left it in. I feel like this likely won't be a problem though, as most people will just choose to eliminate a note or have the capability to play all of them, right?

Thanks again! I'm so excited to see this being shaped into a site-worthy piece!  :D

Bloop

Quote from: Whoppybones on February 05, 2022, 10:10:21 PM- I removed the 8vbs, but I did include a note on where it should be 8vb for those who want to play it more accurate to the original.
Ah yeah that sounds good ^^ Maybe you could use 'transcription' instead of 'rendition', but it doesn't matter too much. The text box is also slightly too far left outside the margins.

Quote from: Whoppybones on February 05, 2022, 10:10:21 PM- I rewrote the rhythms. That makes complete sense to me, but I decided to leave the staccatos.
In m1-3 the note on beat 3.25 should still be a 16th note instead of an 8th, but the other bars look good!

Quote from: Whoppybones on February 05, 2022, 10:10:21 PM- m11 RH edited as suggested
This still looks the same in the files.

Quote from: Whoppybones on February 05, 2022, 10:10:21 PM- m21-29 copied over. I don't know a thing about enharmonic spellings, I just knew what the notes were. Times to use sharps vs flats? No idea. ;D
If you haven't read it yet, there's a help guide here on which accidentals to use. Most of these comes from point 4 "Scales aren't everything". It mostly comes down to recognizing what chords you're playing. Here's a little explanation on how I tackled m21-22 for example:
Enharmonic spelling of m21-22
Originally you had F#, A#, C# and Fn in this m21. Playing this on a piano, you can recognize this as a F#maj7 (which should be F#, A#, C# and E#: E# is the major 7th from F#) or Gbmaj7 (Gb, Bb, Db, F). At this point, both would've worked, so we need a bit more context to decide which of these two maj7 chords works best.
In m22, you had the notes F#, An, Cn and Fn, as well as an Eb later on. Ignoring the F# for a moment, we have a pretty clear F major chord in this bar (F, A, C), with the Eb later on transforming it into F7 (F-A-C-Eb). The F# in this case would then function as a jazzy b9. The 9th of a chord is one note above the octave ("8th"). In the case of an F chord, the 9th is G. b9 means we're flattening the 9th by a half step, which would then be Gb. It's important to realize that we cannot change the note name G to F in this case: any sort of 9th from F should always be a G.
Now that we know we're dealing with an F chord in m22, it makes sense for m21 to be a Gb chord going down to F rather than an F# chord altering itself to F.
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Quote from: Whoppybones on February 05, 2022, 10:10:21 PM- m41 I hear the G# and I added it in, but I still hear the C# ringing on for several measures, so I left it in. I feel like this likely won't be a problem though, as most people will just choose to eliminate a note or have the capability to play all of them, right?
The melody you've arranged in m40 is from the bass solo, which goes to G# instead of C# on beat 4.75 in that bar (I also hear an E instead of D on beat 4.25 btw, I didn't notice that at first). The C# is from a electric piano chord that starts in m41. You can include it if you want, but then I'd advise adding it with brackets too, to show it's optional.

A few more things about m40 and 41:
-The two quarter notes in the L.H. in m40 on beats 2 and 3 can be joined together as a half note.
-I don't think you need to have the L.H. in m41 in two separate layers, having everything in one layer works fine too.
so m40-43 should be like this
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Whoppybones

All should be done. Also note that I changed "Performer's Note" to say "Performance Note" since in most cases, I won't be the performer. ;D

Bloop

Good point! There's just a few very small things I noticed, but consider it approved either way!

-m35: The R.H. 16th note A on beat 4 and the L.H. 16th note F# on beat 3.5 should both probably be staccato 8th notes.
-m40: The 16th rest in the R.H. on beat 1.5 should be either at the same height as the one on beat 1.5 of m41, or just two ticks higher (so the circles are in the first and second staff space from above, not the second and third). Its tail is currently touching the note below.

Static

  • The performance direction at the top isn't necessary. As an arrangement, there are bound to be some changes from the original anyway, and I think everything sounds better where it's already written.
  • m4 LH beat 4: The first two bass notes should be B#-C# (the C# is technically like an octave higher than the B# but just keep it lower for playability).
  • m8 LH beat 4.5: The Eb here is also staccato in the original track.
  • m29 LH beat 4.5: The first bass note should be Cn instead of Bn.
  • m22-28 still looks rather messy... But there are a few options here to reduce clutter. If a layer is mostly rests (m22, 25), you can hide them and flip the other layer (you might have to adjust some articulations manually after that). If two layers share a rest (like beat 4 of m22), they can be combined into one.
    • m22 LH beat 3.5: An should be Ab
    • m23 LH beat 1: Ab should be Bb
    • m24 LH beat 1: The dotted half note Cb in Layer 2 should be Ab.
    • m25 beat 1 Layer 2: These accidentals should be moved closer to the note with the Accidental Mover Tool, under Special Tools.
    • m25 LH beat 4; that rest can come down since there's enough room there
    • Taken altogether, here's a picture of what this could look like:
      m22-27
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  • m28 beat 2: I hear this chord more like this:
  • m30-37 RH: I agree with you that this section sounds a bit empty, and that's because you didn't include any of the harmonies, only melody and bass. You can add some of the chord tones to accented melody notes (not in the sense of the accent articulation, but just in terms of phrasing).
    • Here's m30 as an example:

      In this measure, the chord is A/D (A major chord with D in the bass). So, I picked notes that are part of that chord, are comfortable to play (avoid repeated notes, especially 16ths), and fit with the melodic phrasing. I'd recommend trying out this section on piano to see what feels right to you. If you need help on identifying the right chords, let me know.
  • m30 LH beat 2.75: I hear this note as D instead of E.
  • m35 LH beat 3.5 and 35 RH beat 4: Since these 16th notes are on an 8th-note beat, they would be more cleanly notated as just staccato 8th notes.
  • m40 LH beat 1: There isn't a C# here; the bass does not rearticulate it.
  • m41 LH beat 3: 16th rest should be moved down to the middle of the staff.
  • m42: If you want the C# played, then I would recommend omitting the first RH chord and putting the C# in the RH, like so:
    m41-44

    (I moved m41 to this system just for demonstration purposes)
    - Note that the LH melody in m41 contains some additional harmony notes you were missing - the final note is a G#-C# dyad.
    - Use the Note Mover Tool (in the Advanced Tools Palette).
    - Adjust the RH ties in m42-43 with the Tie Tool, under Special Tools.
    - The dotted rest in the RH can be split into 8th+16th if you prefer, but I think dotted 8th rests look cleaner.
    [close]

Whoppybones

All should be done with a couple exceptions:
 - I left the performance note in. True, people expect it to be different, but I personally think it sounds better to have it played at the proper octave and the performance note doesn't really hurt to have, does it?
 - m42 I left the first RH chord in, because it's technically playable. I suppose I can remove it if it really makes a big difference, but I'd rather have it in for those who 1) can play it because they have a big span, 2) can play it because they're really good at shifting, and 3) can't play the full thing but would rather omit the top note than not have it at all.

Also note that I have no clue how to tell chords, but I did my best. All the harmonies I got sounded good to me, but I'm not certain that they're really accurate to the actual song.

Let me know if we missed anything not mentioned here, and hopefully this sheet will get on site soon! :D

Static

Lookin good, just a few formatting issues to go over, and some of those chords in m30 as well:
  • m22 RH beat 4: Since both Layers share the same 8th rest, you can hide one of them, and move the remaining one to the middle of the staff.
  • m25 LH beat 1: The A natural sign is touching the note below it, you can fix that with the Accidental Mover Tool under Special Tools.
  • m28 RH beat 1: The arpeggio marking is almost touching the barline before it, you can adjust that by right clicking > Edit Measure Attributes > set Extra Space at Beginning to ~0.05.
  • m28 LH beat 1: The flat sign should go before the note. Use the Accidental Mover Tool and/or Note Mover tool to adjust the spacing here.
  • m40 RH beat 2.25 Layer 2: This note should be an 8th note instead of two tied 16ths.
  • m40 RH beat 3.25 Layer 2: While this is technically correct, everywhere else is beamed/divided across individual beats, so I'd recommend writing this A as a dotted 8th tied to a quarter, instead of a 16th tied to dotted 8th.
  • m40 LH beat 4: These two notes should be beamed across.
  • The extra chord tones you picked in m30-37 work great! Everything fits and sounds well, and feels natural to play, good work.
That's all I got!

Whoppybones


Static

All looks good, but the accidentals in m25 LH are still all crowded together. I'd space those apart more (like in m25 RH).