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Nine Lives' Space Travel Project Sheets

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NineLives:
I wasn't sure if either of these were simple enough to warrant a possible third arrangement, but I thought I'd mention the interest in case they were. Here are the two sheets I've chosen:

Main Submissions:
[NES] DuckTales
"The Moon" (Replacement) | MUSX | Source

[PS2] Silent Hill 2
"UFO Ending" | MUSX | Source

Extra Submission:
[SNES] Star Fox
"Macbeth" | MUSX | Source

Unfortunately, there isn't an audio-only source for the Silent Hill 2 piece that I could find, but I think the one listed is of good enough quality.

Static:
UFO Ending

* m1-2, 4-5 RH: Missing an Eb voice between the Cs and Gs/Abs.
* m2-3, 5-6 RH: The 32nd notes should be An-Bb instead of G-Ab.
* m7-13 LH: I think it was a good idea to remove some of the extra chord tones from the accompaniment part, since you put it in the LH; this helps avoid a more muddy texture. However, I think it would be better to prioritize the bass and third of each chord - these are the backbone of any chord and tell you its quality. Take a look at this:
m7-13[close]You don't really need to include D (the 5th) at all, especially since it's played a lot in the RH.
* m9-12 RH: This is admittedly a subtle difference, but the melody I think would better be written explicitly as triplets rather than swing. Writing "swing" implies a swing feel, not just in terms of rhythms, but in performance and style, and this piece definitely does not have that. It's more of a march. Alternatively, you could write the whole sheet in 12/8.
* m9 RH beat 4: Gb should be F# (this is in Gm and borrows from the major, creating a sort of GmM7 sound).
* m14-15: I know it's all out of tune, but the Ebs sound a lot more like E naturals to my ear.
* m14-15: This sounds a bit faster to me than q=60. It's not much slower than the previous bars.
* m16 LH: The lowest voice here should be F.
* m17-18 LH: This chord sounds completely different to me, I'm hearing (from bottom to top) Db-Ab-Bb-F. It's a wide stretch for one hand, but it can be rolled easily. I'd also recommend a double barline before m17 to separate this section too, as you do with all the others.
* m25-28 RH: There should be Gs between all the Fs and Abs - it's not just out of tune, there actually is some minor 2nd dissonance going on there.
* m29: This final chord is a Bm9, voiced (bottom to top) B-F#-A-C#-D. It's fine to keep this original voicing since both hands are available to play it here.
* I would recommend changing keys where appropriate (Gm at m7, Fm at m19), since you're treating each segment is its own entity anyway.
* The rest in m6 could be written as a 2/4 bar to mirror m13, but you can leave it if you'd like. The measure numbers in the feedback above assume you didn't add any extra measures.Sorry this probably seems like a lot for such a short piece, there's a lot of subtleties going on here. Let me know if you need clarification on anything

NineLives:
Everything should be updated correctly. If I missed something or something new came up though, let me know.

--- Quote from: Static on May 03, 2022, 04:12:30 AM ---
* m14-15: This sounds a bit faster to me than q=60. It's not much slower than the previous bars.
--- End quote ---
I took another listen and I think the tempo is closer to 80bpm for both the attack and abduction sections.

Static:
Yep, this all looks good! Tempo seems right too. Approved

XiaoMigros:
The Moon

* I don't understand why you start in 5 sharps and then change to 6, isn't this in F#M all the way through? In m24 too I would keep it at 6 sharps.
* I would write all of ms. 1-7 RH under the ottava, it seems a bit inconsistent how you have it currently and some notes are still quite high.
* If I remember correctly the high synth in ms 1, 23 and 32-33 is staccato.
* for ms. 6-22 in the LH, I'd consider using treble clef. It's readable as you have it currently, but this would help reduce the amount of ledger lines (since the bass never goes that low in this section).
* m25 b4 RH: Instead of the triplet you could a trill marking instead (with an accidental above it).
* ms. 24, 26 & 28: You can beam over the rests on beat 4 here. This is optional, but I think it would then be more in line with other sheets on site.
* System spacing: Your measures look good, but I think it would be best to have 4 systems on the first page and 5 on the second. You also have lots of empty space at the bottom of page 2, spreading systems more evenly would get rid of that.
* Also, while the meter changes, the tempo stays the same throughout the entire track. To reflect this you can add this marking in front of the second bpm marking (which you can then put in parentheses).
* The invisible mf in m2 LH can be removed.

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