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Author Topic: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets  (Read 1430 times)

XiaoMigros

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XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« on: April 29, 2022, 11:45:23 AM »

Here's 2 sheets I thought would be fitting for the project:

Sheet 1
Super Mario Galaxy
The Galaxy Reactor

Considering the game and track name it should be pretty self-explanatory why this would work. The track plays at the height of the game, where Mario journeys to the center of the universe to save people and stuff.
The sheet itself is relatively straightforward, I don't think it will need all too much work.

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Sheet 2
Kirby and the Forgotten Land
From Those who Departed for Space

While I haven't made it this far in the game yet, I was told it would be fitting, and i mean the title literally has space travel in it.
This sheet isn't perfect yet, I'd probably still be looking for general pointers/tips before tackling the nit-picky things (as there's not really a point to doing that yet).

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While I think I'd be able to bring these sheets up to an acceptance level fairly fast, I don't think it's fair yet for me to submit a 3rd one too. But if there is, I can just throw in literally anything from Super Mario Galaxy lol

 Sheet 3 (if time)
Super Mario Galaxy 2
The Starship Sails

If there's time I think this sheet is also fitting for the project.
Some things that might need checking over on it:
  • Articulation in the LH
  • Arranging choices in ms. 22-30
  • Stem directions in m39
  • Added notes in m8 b4 and m18 b4.5


Sorry I haven't been responding to feedback as fast as usual, finals have been killing me but I should have time tomorrow.
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« Last Edit: May 08, 2022, 05:58:19 PM by XiaoMigros »
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cashwarrior1

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2022, 09:03:58 PM »

More galaxy sheets? 👀

Two small things

  • Measure 26 beat 5, the Cb should be a C natural in those last two chords
  • Measure 28 crescendo is going into the barline, that could come back a little.
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XiaoMigros

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2022, 09:15:07 PM »

Not like me to turn down an opportunity like this :P

Your suggestions have been reviewed and made!

Static

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2022, 02:46:16 AM »

From Those who Departed for Space
  • m1 RH beat 1: I'm not hearing the G here, I think it may be just an overtone or something.
  • m2 LH beat 3.5: Fermata should be flipped up (you only need to flip it down if there's multiple layers). Technically, there should be a fermata in the RH also, but I think in this case it's clearer to keep it as is.
  • m5 LH beat 4.5: I'm not hearing the low E here, just the top one in the melody.
  • m6 LH beat 2.5: Should be A instead of E (above the staff).
  • m7-10: There are several missing harmonies, particularly in the RH part. I'm assuming you omitted them for a lighter texture, but there are a few spots that stood out to me that wouldn't sound too thick/muddy if you added them back in:
    • m7 LH beat 2.5: There's a D above the C here.
    • m10 RH beat 2.5: There's an E and F# under the A.
  • m11 LH beat 1: The G sounds an octave lower to me
  • m13-14 LH: If you wanted to, you could change the lower octave doubling in the melody to include some of the harmonic motion there, like this:
    m13-14 LH
    [close]
    Sounds a bit more full, but if you'd rather leave it that's OK too
  • m14-15: Tempo markings usually look better when they're aligned vertically, at least when there's room to. I'd leave m10-11 the same for example.
  • m16 LH beats 1-2: Move that slur up a bit so it's not so close to the A.
  • Several of your arpeggio markings could be moved closer to the notes (like in m18-19, 23, 50) and other spots where they appear at the start of a bar could probably use some extra space (like m27). You can add additional space before the first beat by right clicking > Edit Measure Attributes > Extra Space at Beginning > set to 0.05-0.07ish
  • m26 LH beat 2.5: The lowest voice in this chord is G instead of F.
  • m29: I don't think the cross-staff notation is necessary here, since beats 3-4 would likely just be played by the RH anyway. Just use 2 layers in the RH, and put rests in the LH (or change the E on beat 2 to a dotted half). The overlapping stems look a bit weird.
  • m35 LH beats 1-2: I'm not hearing those extra notes in the bassoon voice, it just sounds like a C half note to me. I don't really hear 16ths anywhere except for the clarinet melody.
  • m38 LH beats 3.5-4: There are some bass notes in the piano that might make a good lead-in to m39.
  • m42 RH beats 1-3: I'm hearing something more like this:
  • m52 LH: The LH note should also have a fermata over it; I'd recommend writing it as a quarter tied to an 8th, so the fermatas line up. The LH note isn't held over beats 3.5-4 so it works out (the pedal is lifted before the pickup on beat 3.5, not at the end of the measure).
    The fermata in the RH also doesn't look aligned correctly, but that's probably just some export issue.
Nice job, this is a very tough piece to condense into a solo piano sheet.

Bloop

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2022, 07:53:29 PM »

The Galaxy Reactor
-In m7 you added a cautionary accidental without brackets, but in m11 you added one with brackets. Choose one, and choose wisely ;)
-I'm not sure if the 8vb is really necessary, at least not throughout the whole sheet. The whole of page 2 and m33-40 at the very least don't need a 8vb at all, and the low notes of all places are easily recognized as octaves below the top note.
-m20: I hear the bass drop to the Bb an octave below here.
-m21-28: I think you can get away with grouping the first six 8ths in these bars in two groups of 3+3, or one group of 6.
-m29-32: You can group the L.H. 8ths here in groups of 6 too
-m31: The second layer note in beat 1 isn't hold-able for longer than a quarter note, it's probably best to move this up a few inversions.
-m33-35: The trumpet plays solo here, so maybe you could leave out the extra harmonies in these 3 bars, so the contrast with m36 is more noticeable.
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XiaoMigros

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2022, 07:53:50 AM »

-m31: The second layer note in beat 1 isn't hold-able for longer than a quarter note, it's probably best to move this up a few inversions.
I'm not intending for the note to be held longer than that, I have it that length to show the continuation of different voices (and the same spot in m29 can only really be held for 2 beats as well). I know you have a tendency to not like this that much though lol

As for the grouping, I seem to remember reading up / asking someone about how to do it here, and I'm not sure how I would feel about long beams of 8ths. Do you think it's something that should be changed or is it acceptable as is?

The rest of the changes have been made :)

XiaoMigros

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2022, 08:39:03 AM »

m1 RH beat 1: I'm not hearing the G here, I think it may be just an overtone or something.
Yep you're right, a lot of this track is extremely echoey.

m2 LH beat 3.5: Fermata should be flipped up (you only need to flip it down if there's multiple layers).
It's flipped up in my file, so that's weird.

m7-10: There are several missing harmonies, particularly in the RH part.
Yeah my intent was to keep this first section a little more simple and not overwhelm the performer with all the harmonies being played in the background. As they seem more distinct than the other parts, I've added in what you suggested.

m11 LH beat 1: The G sounds an octave lower to me
I moved this up for playability reasons, however given the current pedal marking I have there I'll consider moving it down again later (once the pedal gets sorted).

  • m13-14 LH: If you wanted to, you could change the lower octave doubling in the melody to include some of the harmonic motion there.
Fitting, I like it, done. Briefly considered keeping in the bassoon line, but the resulting octaves were much harder to play and didn't seem worth it.

m14-15: Tempo markings usually look better when they're aligned vertically, at least when there's room to. I'd leave m10-11 the same for example.
Fixed, also changed the font sizes there to match each other.

Several of your arpeggio markings could be moved closer to the notes (like in m18-19, 23, 50) and other spots where they appear at the start of a bar could probably use some extra space (like m27). You can add additional space before the first beat by right clicking > Edit Measure Attributes > Extra Space at Beginning > set to 0.05-0.07ish
Ah, so that's how to do that..

  • m35 LH beats 1-2: I'm not hearing those extra notes in the bassoon voice, it just sounds like a C half note to me. I don't really hear 16ths anywhere except for the clarinet melody.
  • m38 LH beats 3.5-4: There are some bass notes in the piano that might make a good lead-in to m39.
They are extremely faint, so I hope I got them right.

The fermata in the RH also doesn't look aligned correctly, but that's probably just some export issue.
I deleted and re-added it, hopefully that should fix everything.

Thanks for the feedback!

Bloop

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2022, 06:58:12 PM »

I'm not intending for the note to be held longer than that, I have it that length to show the continuation of different voices (and the same spot in m29 can only really be held for 2 beats as well). I know you have a tendency to not like this that much though lol
Yeah the reason I comment on those things is that the player might be inclined to use the pedal to hold the notes, while you may not want them to do so. I can live with it being like this too though, if you prefer it ^^

As for the grouping, I seem to remember reading up / asking someone about how to do it here, and I'm not sure how I would feel about long beams of 8ths. Do you think it's something that should be changed or is it acceptable as is?
Hmm, you could try to see if you like having the beams not cross the 8th rest (so the bar's divided in 2+2+2+2+2+2), but otherwise I can live with this too ^^

About the rest, I only heard the bass go an octave lower in m20, m19 should be an octave higher. Also, I noticed the last four 8ths in the R.H. of m26 aren't beamed together like the other bars (I'm guessing you didn't want the 3+3 either for the first six 8th notes in the 5/4 section?)
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Static

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2022, 09:03:09 PM »

From Those who Departed for Outer Space
- m38 LH beat 4: I think it's just a quarter note G here, no D on beat 4.5
- m52 RH: The slur is touching the tie and fermata on my end, although again that might be a Finale thing. I'm using 2014 so some things look different, but if it looks OK on your end then it'll be fine.

Everything else looks great!

XiaoMigros

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2022, 10:38:41 PM »

Concerning the slur, I guess we'll see if it's correct once I export a pdf. m38 has been fixed.

One thing I did still want to address is the pedal markings, because I'm not completely sure whether I've added them in the right places, or whether it's worth hiding them all and writing pedal ad lib. If it's fine how they are, I'll go over their positioning.

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2022, 04:13:19 AM »

m38 has been fixed.
Sorry if I was unclear, I meant this:


I'll approve but make sure you get that

XiaoMigros

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2022, 09:29:28 AM »

I can live with it being like this too though, if you prefer it ^^
Great! I'll leave it as is then.

For the beaming in the 6/4 section, I opted for 2 groups of 6 eighths each.

The rest of your suggestions have been fixed as well :)

XiaoMigros

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2022, 09:36:38 AM »

Sorry if I was unclear, I meant this:
Ah, that makes more sense. Fixed!

Bloop

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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2022, 11:18:27 AM »

Awesome, I'll approve the Galaxy Reactor!
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Re: XiaoMigros' Space Travel Project Sheets
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2022, 07:22:52 PM »

The Galaxy Reactor
  • m3-4 LH: I think the quarter notes are actually two 8th notes here, like in m5+. Maybe not on m3 beat 1, but after that.
  • m23 LH beat 3: I'm assuming you intended this to be Db, and tied to the previous note
  • m28 RH beats 4-5: These chords should be the same (interval-wise) as the rest; Eb-Gn-Cn and Db-Fn-Bb.
  • m36 RH beat 1.5: It's kind of hard to tell, but I think the lower trumpet voices are moving parallel with the lead; Gb and Bb under the Db.
  • m38 RH beat 4: Lower voice should be F instead of Db.
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