News:

Need help with Finale? Have a question about arranging? NSM Resources is the place to go!

Main Menu

[PC] Deltarune - "Scarlet Forest" by Bloop

Started by Zeta, April 29, 2022, 07:04:56 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Undertale
Game: Deltarune
Console: PC
Title: Scarlet Forest
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop

[attachment deleted by admin]

Bloop


BlueKirby

You cannot view this attachment.
You cannot view this attachment.

there's no tempo marking on the pdf nor mus



You cannot view this attachment.

i also feel some of the jumps are (like here in m.41-42) are way too big to be playable.


hopefully i did feedback good this is my first time
pfp is by me

My MuseScore

play len'en and kid icarus uprising

Bloop

Quote from: BlueKirby on April 29, 2022, 09:31:57 AMthere's no tempo marking on the pdf nor mus
Oh yeah, thanks for noticing, I think I tend to forget about the tempo until listen to a part of the sheet and think "huh this is too fast/slow". Apparently this was just exactly q=120 ;p

Quote from: BlueKirby on April 29, 2022, 09:31:57 AMi also feel some of the jumps are (like here in m.41-42) are way too big to be playable.
I'll admit they're not easy, but they're doable with some practice. Jumps like these aren't that uncommon for similar accompaniments.

Quote from: BlueKirby on April 29, 2022, 09:31:57 AMhopefully i did feedback good this is my first time
you did good ^^ Maybe when posting larger pics, you could put them in a spoiler tag, so it doesn't take as much vertical space, or consider if the pics are necessary for the comment you're making. Mostly just to keep the feedback a bit more compact :p

XiaoMigros

  • I hear this for m20 RH
  • m25 and similar: Thoughts on including the lower layer for the first few beats?
  • I'm also not sure about adding slurs to the flute part, it's distinctly staccato in the original. I can see why either would work though, just something to think about :)
  • In general I think some of your rests in the upper layer can be moved down a bit, some examples are m25, m33 and m48
  • ..and some of the rests in the lower layer can be moved up a bit, such as in m27
  • The first system on pages 2 and 3 is too close to the header for my liking.
i also dont like double dotted notes that much but i see why they work here so whatever

Bloop

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 30, 2022, 01:59:44 AM
  • I hear this for m20 RH
Ah you're right, I didn't notice that before. It's the same in m36, but I deleted the C# on beat 2.5, since it would be crossing the upper melody and cause three B-C# dyads to play consecutively, which won't sound great :p

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 30, 2022, 01:59:44 AM
  • m25 and similar: Thoughts on including the lower layer for the first few beats?
Ehh, it feels kinda out of place to add it in for such a short part (it will be gone by beat 3.5 already for playability), but good suggestion ^^

Quote from: XiaoMigros on April 30, 2022, 01:59:44 AM
  • I'm also not sure about adding slurs to the flute part, it's distinctly staccato in the original. I can see why either would work though, just something to think about :)
There's a strings part that plays the same melody as the flutes as well but legato. I think I see the flutes more as an accentuation of that part, which is why I treat it as the main melody.

Fixed the other things though ^^

Static

Nice sheet, I just have a few details to mention
  • m12/20/etc. RH beat 4.5: The main melody should be two 16th notes here, C#-B.
  • m44 RH: I don't think it would be that much more difficult to move this part up an octave, and it would help to differentiate it from the previous figure in m43. Although I guess that would be inconsistent with m47-48 which sounds better imo where you already have it... Maybe just keep it the same then.
  • m50 should use F naturals instead of E#s; it's a DmM7 chord.
  • m53/54 RH beats 1-2: The melody is staccato here; I'm assuming you wrote it legato to account for the lower layers but I think the melody should get a higher priority here. The lower notes could in m53 could be moved to a separate layer, and a slur could be put over the lower layer in m54.
  • You're missing dynamics throughout the piece, and I think they could be used to great effect here, particularly on the last page.

Bloop

Quote from: Static on May 02, 2022, 05:32:39 PM
  • m44 RH: I don't think it would be that much more difficult to move this part up an octave, and it would help to differentiate it from the previous figure in m43. Although I guess that would be inconsistent with m47-48 which sounds better imo where you already have it... Maybe just keep it the same then.
I actually moved both m44 and m47-48 up an octave, I think m47-48 sounds nice like this too ^^

Quote from: Static on May 02, 2022, 05:32:39 PM
  • m53/54 RH beats 1-2: The melody is staccato here; I'm assuming you wrote it legato to account for the lower layers but I think the melody should get a higher priority here. The lower notes could in m53 could be moved to a separate layer, and a slur could be put over the lower layer in m54.
Tbh I'm not entirely sure why I kept it legato there. In m53 the lower notes are part of the piano melody though, so I kept those in (I think I hear the same notes in beat 1.5 and 2.5 too so I added those in as well). Fixed tho!

Fixed all other things as well!

Static

I also hear m28 and 36 RH beat 4.5 as two 16ths, like m12 and 20. Maybe also move those mordents up in m49-50 too, they're pretty close to the slurs.

Otherwise, everything looks good so I'll approve

Libera

Should there not be As in the final two chords in the left hand of the final bar? (like in the first two chords).  It's kind of hard to tell with how detuned the piano sound is.

Otherwise it looks good.  I agree with Static about 28/36 but I think I prefer this simplification.

Radiak488417

-m48 RH beat 4: I hear an A here.

m51 RH beat 1 & 3 and m52 beat 1: It might just be differences in the attack of the instruments, but these chords sound rolled to me.

-m52 RH beat 2.5-4.5: I think including the lower piano voice here might make a bit more sense than including the string line, it sounds a bit odd to me having the piano voice present in the previous 3 measures and then switching to the strings suddenly here.

-m53 RH beat 2: I think the A's are actually B's here.

Bloop

Quote from: Libera on June 13, 2022, 01:25:39 PMOtherwise it looks good.  I agree with Static about 28/36 but I think I prefer this simplification.
I actually did add them in, playing the C# with the 2nd finger and the B with the thumb works better than I expected.

Quote from: Libera on June 13, 2022, 01:25:39 PMShould there not be As in the final two chords in the left hand of the final bar? (like in the first two chords).  It's kind of hard to tell with how detuned the piano sound is.
Oh yeah, I think they're there too, added them in ^^

Quote from: Radiak488417 on June 13, 2022, 05:11:43 PM-m48 RH beat 4: I hear an A here.
Are you sure? I don't hear it myself and it wouldn't fit the E major chord at all.

Quote from: Radiak488417 on June 13, 2022, 05:11:43 PMm51 RH beat 1 & 3 and m52 beat 1: It might just be differences in the attack of the instruments, but these chords sound rolled to me.
I think I hear the piano rolling the chords, but I like the sound too so I added them in ^^

Quote from: Radiak488417 on June 13, 2022, 05:11:43 PM-m52 RH beat 2.5-4.5: I think including the lower piano voice here might make a bit more sense than including the string line, it sounds a bit odd to me having the piano voice present in the previous 3 measures and then switching to the strings suddenly here.
I'm having a hard time hearing a lower piano voice actually, unless it's C#-F# on beat 3 and 4? Anyway, I think the G#-F# from the strings is a bit more pronounced overall, and sounds a bit more interesting overall. I see I didn't include it in m53 even though there's place there, so I by adding it there you could see it less of a sudden switch and more as a new voice for m52-55.

Quote from: Radiak488417 on June 13, 2022, 05:11:43 PM-m53 RH beat 2: I think the A's are actually B's here.
Yeah it's a bit hard to hear, but I think you're right (would make sense with the same pattern being in m47)

Updated the files!

Libera

Quote from: Bloop on June 14, 2022, 03:13:25 AMAre you sure? I don't hear it myself and it wouldn't fit the E major chord at all.

I don't hear this either.

I shall accept.

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot