[GCN] Pokémon Colosseum - "Relic Forest" (Replacement) by Kricketune54

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Colosseum
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Relic Forest
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[attachment deleted by admin]

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Kricketune54]

The sheet on NSM is okay, but there are some inaccuracies, and I generally do not like how the second half is written (having tried playing it a few times).

Second half of song (pick up to m10), a lot of the LH which consists of the harp lower string parts, is written down an octave because the melody line is admittedly not that all that great to accommodate right out of the box for this section. There's also some fifth's and third's to avoid aforementioned melody.

Hopefully it doesn't feel too empty here because I think this part translates quite well to piano with pedal, and I'm hoping this becomes one of the more beginner friendly sheets on the site.

[Latios212]

A few high level comments just skimming:
- Overall the texture/thickness looks good, although the pickup in m. 9 is I think a bit too muddy sounding. The upper Bb in m. 11 beat 1 is also pretty awkward to play with the left hand and is probably not needed.
- I think the hairpin crescendos in the last couple of systems are a bit too long. I feel like there should be a jump in m. 9, perhaps a crescendo in m. 11-12 if you want, and that the dim. can just be in the last one or two measures.

And a few visual things:
- Make sure to spend some time adjusting the roll markings to make sure they have enough room (add space at the beginning of measures where necessary) and are consistently long enough to span the chords.
- I'd suggest just making half notes dotted half notes on beat 5 in the first few measures to avoid having an awkward quarter rest at the end.
- LH of m. 12 doesn't make sense rhythmically, this can just be one layer
- What is the "a tempo" above m. 2 doing?

[Kricketune54]

- Overall the texture/thickness looks good, although the pickup in m. 9 is I think a bit too muddy sounding. The upper Bb in m. 11 beat 1 is also pretty awkward to play with the left hand and is probably not needed.

For m.9 I removed the lower notes in the LH, do you think it would be better to just have the RH for this part though? I took out the upper Bb in m11.

- I think the hairpin crescendos in the last couple of systems are a bit too long. I feel like there should be a jump in m. 9, perhaps a crescendo in m. 11-12 if you want, and that the dim. can just be in the last one or two measures.

I didn't quite understand what you meant by jump in m.9, as in put the mf there? I made the other recommended adjustments though.

- Make sure to spend some time adjusting the roll markings to make sure they have enough room (add space at the beginning of measures where necessary) and are consistently long enough to span the chords.

Took a stab at this, note m6-8 I didn't intend for top note to roll but if it makes sense to have the whole hand roll I'll add that

- I'd suggest just making half notes dotted half notes on beat 5 in the first few measures to avoid having an awkward quarter rest at the end.

Yeah this makes sense

- LH of m. 12 doesn't make sense rhythmically, this can just be one layer

Fixed

- What is the "a tempo" above m. 2 doing?

Ah that was a goof up

Thanks for checking! Files updated

[Latios212]

Ah sorry, I've had quite the eventful last few weeks...

- Overall the texture/thickness looks good, although the pickup in m. 9 is I think a bit too muddy sounding. The upper Bb in m. 11 beat 1 is also pretty awkward to play with the left hand and is probably not needed.

For m.9 I removed the lower notes in the LH, do you think it would be better to just have the RH for this part though? I took out the upper Bb in m11.

I would say yes. Just the RH here sounds good to me

- I think the hairpin crescendos in the last couple of systems are a bit too long. I feel like there should be a jump in m. 9, perhaps a crescendo in m. 11-12 if you want, and that the dim. can just be in the last one or two measures.

I didn't quite understand what you meant by jump in m.9, as in put the mf there? I made the other recommended adjustments though.

I was suggesting changing to mf on measure 9 beat 3 (without a crescendo before it).

Other things:
- For m. 5 (the pickup) flip the octaves upwards. m. 12 beat 3 LH should also be up, don't forget to clear these manual flips if you remove layers
- Fill out the measure (dotted half instead of half) in m. 7 LH
- For m. 13 it would be fine to just write the dyad in the left hand instead
- Not totally sure about this one, may consult someone else... but I think past the intro, this would be better in F major

[Kricketune54]

I would say yes. Just the RH here sounds good to me
I was suggesting changing to mf on measure 9 beat 3 (without a crescendo before it).
- For m. 5 (the pickup) flip the octaves upwards. m. 12 beat 3 LH should also be up, don't forget to clear these manual flips if you remove layers
- Fill out the measure (dotted half instead of half) in m. 7 LH
- For m. 13 it would be fine to just write the dyad in the left hand instead

Fixed these

- Not totally sure about this one, may consult someone else... but I think past the intro, this would be better in F major

Wasn't super sure on this either, so not sure if you either have had a chance to look at this more or consult another, I have left the key alone for these edits. Thanks!

[Latios212]

- For m. 13 it would be fine to just write the dyad in the left hand instead

You can just use one later for this, like the previous couple of measures - it's more confusing as written right now.

Aside from that I'll approve! As discussed above would like another updater to weigh in on a potential key change (and perhaps before we get this accepted we can move some note positions manually in the first few measures to give the wavy lines a bit more breathing room, since the ends of the measures have quite a bit of space to use

[Bloop]

For the key change, I'm quite sure it goes to F major yes, with it hinting more towards D minor in m5-9 (which is just the parallel minor anyway).

Mostly some arrangement stuff, most of the notes look good!
-About the 3+4/4 time signature, I read in Behind Bars it isn't advised to use additive time signatures (unless the time signatures have different denominators). It's a bit more straightforward in this case, but the general idea is to just write 7/4 and (optionally) write "3+4" above the time signature.
-m1 and 2: Any reason you didn't add the wavy lines on beat 2?
-m4: If you want, you could also still write the second layer dyad on beat 4 as G-B: since it's a rolled chord, the player can then roll upwards to the high B, at which point they don't have to hold the lower G anymore (because of the pedal)
-m5 (the pickup bar): I think it might be better to exclude this bar from the measure numbering, since it acts as a pick up bar instead of its own standalone bar. I'll be using the previous measure numbering though, so save this for last.
-m5-7: I think it's still readable to write everything an octave up (so without the 8va). It's still readable I think, and it makes the jump down to the A in m7 a bit less confusing to read. If you really wanna keep the 8va, you could also extend it a bit to include beat 2 and 3 of m7, so the jump is still in there.
-m9: There's a Dm chord on beat 3 here, but maybe you can just add a D in the L.H.?
-m10: The dyads in the L.H. here feel a bit weird, as it makes the C sound like the bass note (so F major in second inversion) instead of the F, and it feels a bit less harp-y. Maybe you could just remove the lower notes in the dyads? I think it comes across similarly.
-m11: I hear a(nother) Bb in the L.H. on beat 1 instead of the A.
-m15-17: I think it's okay to have the L.H. go over the R.H. here, if the melody is played louder than the accompaniment. This way the L.H. feels a bit more harp-y as well:
You cannot view this attachment.
I know you mentioned you wanted this to be a bit more beginner-friendly, I don't think it's that much more difficult to play these cross-hand things compared to the rest of the piece.

[Kricketune54]

For the key change, I'm quite sure it goes to F major yes, with it hinting more towards D minor in m5-9 (which is just the parallel minor anyway).

Does that key change need to be added? I have added the F major though
 

-About the 3+4/4 time signature, I read in Behind Bars it isn't advised to use additive time signatures (unless the time signatures have different denominators). It's a bit more straightforward in this case, but the general idea is to just write 7/4 and (optionally) write "3+4" above the time signature.

Got it, was not aware of that. I have no problem just putting 7/4, the 3+4 is something I guess I was caught up on given how the sheet I'm replacing swapped between those time sigs

-m1 and 2: Any reason you didn't add the wavy lines on beat 2?

Y'know, I'm really not sure lol, added

-m4: If you want, you could also still write the second layer dyad on beat 4 as G-B: since it's a rolled chord, the player can then roll upwards to the high B, at which point they don't have to hold the lower G anymore (because of the pedal)

Good point, that certainly fits better imo

-m5 (the pickup bar): I think it might be better to exclude this bar from the measure numbering, since it acts as a pick up bar instead of its own standalone bar. I'll be using the previous measure numbering though, so save this for last.

-m5-7: I think it's still readable to write everything an octave up (so without the 8va). It's still readable I think, and it makes the jump down to the A in m7 a bit less confusing to read. If you really wanna keep the 8va, you could also extend it a bit to include beat 2 and 3 of m7, so the jump is still in there.

I've just opted to remove the 8va.
       

-m10: The dyads in the L.H. here feel a bit weird, as it makes the C sound like the bass note (so F major in second inversion) instead of the F, and it feels a bit less harp-y. Maybe you could just remove the lower notes in the dyads? I think it comes across similarly.

This was an attempt to make this part sound fuller, I've removed the lower notes now

-m11: I hear a(nother) Bb in the L.H. on beat 1 instead of the A.

I thought there was an An and Bb clashing on top here, I had Bb previously and agreed with Latios it wasn't totally necessary

-m15-17: I think it's okay to have the L.H. go over the R.H. here, if the melody is played louder than the accompaniment. This way the L.H. feels a bit more harp-y as well:
You cannot view this attachment.
I know you mentioned you wanted this to be a bit more beginner-friendly, I don't think it's that much more difficult to play these cross-hand things compared to the rest of the piece.

Yeah I think this cross hand stuff works fine. I didn't go for this at first because I was worried about drowning out the melody line. Files are updated now, thanks for the notes!

[Bloop]

Does that key change need to be added? I have added the F major though

Not necessarily for a change between Dm and F major, since those are both just 1 flat, but I think the key change works better before the double barline before the upbeat of bar 5. For next time btw, key changes usually come with a double barline in general.

Good point, that certainly fits better imo

It's currently still the same as before though :p

I thought there was an An and Bb clashing on top here, I had Bb previously and agreed with Latios it wasn't totally necessary

Hmm, slowed down I can hear a sort of bend from the An to the Bb, but at full speed I can't really hear the An. It does fit though, so if you believe it's there I'm fine with keeping it in ^^

Everything else looks good!

[Kricketune54]

Got some clarification on Discord about m4 feedback, I have removed the An and made it a Bb again in the m11 LH section

[Bloop]

Looks good, I'll accept now!
You cannot view this attachment.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Bloop.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot