Libera's Space Travel Project Sheets

[Libera]

You thought that I would miss my own deadline?

Space Battle Ship 130 33KI - Radiant Silvergun

Fortress of Lies - NieR: Automata

SBS is obvious.  Fortress of Lies plays on the orbital space station.


I also have a third extremely easy sheet, but feel free to prioritise other stuff/let me know if you think it's too much.

Orbital Ring - Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Spoiler

plays on the orbital space station.

[close]

[Latios212]

I also have a third extremely easy sheet, but feel free to prioritise other stuff/let me know if you think it's too much.

Orbital Ring - Xenoblade Chronicles 2

This is fine, I've just added it to the folder. It also takes practically as long to check as it takes to play back the original... so I figured while I have it open I may as well approve lol

[Static]

Space Battle Ship 130 33KI

• m2 RH: The 8th note line isn't all articulated in the same way, though if you'd rather leave it that's fine too.
• m4 RH beats 1-2 (counting each dotted quarter as a beat): I think I still hear B naturals here somewhere... maybe even in the rest of m4-6 too. I'm hearing all the notes you wrote down for those chords, but sometimes it sounds like there are some more voices.
• m9 RH: Whole notes should be moved to the left a little bit, like in m8
• m10 beat 1: I hear a C natural here as well. You could maybe put it in the LH above the E. A bit of a stretch, but doable.
  
• m10 beat 2: I hear an Eb here also.
• m11 RH beat 1: I hear this chord a lot differently. The top voice (from the end of m10) leads to G, then I hear A-D-E below that.
• m13 RH beat 1: Maybe add an A at the top here, since that's where the 16th run from m12 lands.
• m14 RH beats 1/3: The Cs and Fs should be an octave up here, like this:
  
• m15 RH beats 3-4 Layer 2: I think the E plays for a half note, I don't hear that voice move to F.
• m16 RH beat 2: The lower voice plays an F under the A rather than a D.
• m17 RH beat 2: Same thing as above, but the lower voice plays an E instead of F or D.
• m22/28 RH beat 4: I think there's an 8th note F in the melody between the A and G
• m38 RH beats 3-4: There's an additional Eb in the last two quarter notes here, under the F and G, respectively.
• m39 RH beat 2: That 8th note Cb sounds more like C natural to me.

Really cool sheet.

[Libera]

This is fine, I've just added it to the folder. It also takes practically as long to check as it takes to play back the original... so I figured while I have it open I may as well approve lol

Thanks!

• m2 RH: The 8th note line isn't all articulated in the same way, though if you'd rather leave it that's fine too.
• m10 beat 1: I hear a C natural here as well. You could maybe put it in the LH above the E. A bit of a stretch, but doable.
  
• m10 beat 2: I hear an Eb here also.
• m13 RH beat 1: Maybe add an A at the top here, since that's where the 16th run from m12 lands.
• m38 RH beats 3-4: There's an additional Eb in the last two quarter notes here, under the F and G, respectively.

So I think all of these fit into the category of 'I agree, but I'm trying to keep things simple here'.  Not quite to the same level as the left hand in bars 8-9, but I've tried my best (like I do with a lot of my arrangements) to not throw too much stuff in if I think it's unnecessary.  Sometimes it also leads to uneven levels of harmony (like adding in the extra Ebs in bar 38).  Happy to talk about these ones more, though.

• m9 RH: Whole notes should be moved to the left a little bit, like in m8
• m16 RH beat 2: The lower voice plays an F under the A rather than a D.
• m17 RH beat 2: Same thing as above, but the lower voice plays an E instead of F or D.
• m39 RH beat 2: That 8th note Cb sounds more like C natural to me.

These all fit into the category of 'fixed'.  At least I hope so.

The rest I either disagree with (hear differently) or have something more to say.  Comments below in red.

• m4 RH beats 1-2 (counting each dotted quarter as a beat): I think I still hear B naturals here somewhere... maybe even in the rest of m4-6 too. I'm hearing all the notes you wrote down for those chords, but sometimes it sounds like there are some more voices. I think maybe you are hearing the Bns coming from all of the sixteenth note runs that go on on top of what I've written in.  I actually originally wrote in all of those (and still have a draft version written up like this) but it got awfully complicated and not very easy to play so I took them all out in favour of this.
• m11 RH beat 1: I hear this chord a lot differently. The top voice (from the end of m10) leads to G, then I hear A-D-E below that. Yep!  I wasn't writing in that chord though, I wasw just writing in the first chord of the new phrase that then comes in, but transposed up an octave so its easier to play.  I'd be open to changing that though, but just saying that I wasn't trying to write that chord in.
• m14 RH beats 1/3: The Cs and Fs should be an octave up here, like this:I really don't hear this.  The two Cs sound like they're at the same octave, but maybe there is now another C an octave lower?  This still makes more sense to me.
• m15 RH beats 3-4 Layer 2: I think the E plays for a half note, I don't hear that voice move to F. I hear it play F -> D eighths, but I left out the D to make the jump easier.  I added a staccato though.
• m22/28 RH beat 4: I think there's an 8th note F in the melody between the A and G Definitely don't hear this.  This melody gets repeated across the whole soundtrack and it never sounds like that.  I think maybe you're just hearing the strings (written in bar 11 etc.).

Really cool sheet.

Thanks!  And thanks for checking!  Definitely very dense and difficult to pull all of the different instruments apart.[/list]

[Static]

So I think all of these fit into the category of 'I agree, but I'm trying to keep things simple here'.  Not quite to the same level as the left hand in bars 8-9, but I've tried my best (like I do with a lot of my arrangements) to not throw too much stuff in if I think it's unnecessary.  Sometimes it also leads to uneven levels of harmony (like adding in the extra Ebs in bar 38).  Happy to talk about these ones more, though.

Makes sense, and I figured as much. I'm fine leaving all those as they are.

- m11: I see now, though I'd still suggest changing the top F to a G (or adding the G) to show the end of the previous melodic line.
- m14: Hm, yeah I hear it that way now too. Idk why I was hearing it up before.
- m15: I'm still not hearing the F or D there, at least not in the same voice that plays the E. I'll let someone else take another listen to that part.
- m22/28: Ohhh yeah I was hearing the strings there. The strings and horn are double the melody in that measure so I think that tripped me up, but yeah the horn doesn't play that F.

All the other changes look good
 
Also accepting Orbital Ring

[Static]

Fortress of Lies

• m13/15/17/19 RH beat 1: Maybe move the 2nd layer whole notes to the left, so they're not touching the stems (like in Space Battle Ship).
• m14/16/18/20/22/etc. RH: All of these sound like A-D dyads to me. I don't think they change in pitch across any of those measures.
• m13 RH beat 3 Layer 1: The vocal part sounds like it plays A-C rather than E-C here.
• m17 RH beat 3 Layer 1: Lower note should be F instead of E.
• m21/23/25/27/etc. Layer 1: In the keyboard part, the first 16th note in every group of 4 is also a dyad (E-B in m21 for example). I don't think it really gets in the way of any other part.
• m22/24/26/28 LH Layer 1: The high chime part doesn't play here.
• Missing repeat at the end.

[Libera]

- m11: I see now, though I'd still suggest changing the top F to a G (or adding the G) to show the end of the previous melodic line.

Sounds good to me.

Also accepting Orbital Ring

Thanks!


Comments in-line in red again.

Fortress of Lies

• m13/15/17/19 RH beat 1: Maybe move the 2nd layer whole notes to the left, so they're not touching the stems (like in Space Battle Ship). Yep, whoops.  Although 17 doesn't need changing I don't think.
• m14/16/18/20/22/etc. RH: All of these sound like A-D dyads to me. I don't think they change in pitch across any of those measures. I can add those As in.  I still hear the E -> D.
   Maybe not in that exact part, but certainly in the overall harmony.
• m13 RH beat 3 Layer 1: The vocal part sounds like it plays A-C rather than E-C here.  Sure.
• m17 RH beat 3 Layer 1: Lower note should be F instead of E.  On one hand yes.  On the other hand I think that the E does a better job of preserving the overall harmony.  I could write in both, but that's a bit inconsistent.  I'd prefer to leave that one as is.
• m21/23/25/27/etc. Layer 1: In the keyboard part, the first 16th note in every group of 4 is also a dyad (E-B in m21 for example). I don't think it really gets in the way of any other part. Sure.  I tried to write something in.
• m22/24/26/28 LH Layer 1: The high chime part doesn't play here. Nice catch.
• Missing repeat at the end. Yeah that one is just embarrassing...  Fixed.

Thanks for checking!

[Static]

Fortress of Lies

• m17 RH Layer 2: Wouldn't it make more sense for these to go on the left side too? It looks fine either way I guess.
• m23 RH Layer 1: For that additional note I mentioned in the keyboard part; I'm getting B instead of G. The interval isn't consistent between each chord.
• m25 RH Layer 1: Likewise, F-B here instead of E-B.
• m27 RH Layer 1: B-D instead of G-D.

Other stuff looks good

[Libera]

Fortress of Lies

• m17 RH Layer 2: Wouldn't it make more sense for these to go on the left side too? It looks fine either way I guess. The others are only slightly offset to the left, whereas this would require moving the whole first layer visually to the other side of the second layer.  I think it looks better this way.
• m23 RH Layer 1: For that additional note I mentioned in the keyboard part; I'm getting B instead of G. The interval isn't consistent between each chord.  Sure.
• m25 RH Layer 1: Likewise, F-B here instead of E-B.  Hmm I think again for the same reasons as in 17 it makes more sense to have these be Es, in my opinion anyway.  I also actually changed the second layer to be an E.
• m27 RH Layer 1: B-D instead of G-D.  Sure x2.

File updated.

[Static]

Fortress of Lies
All sounds good to me, I approve

Space Battle Ship 130 33KI
Approving this one too

[Bloop]

Space Battle Ship 130 33KI
-m12: Maybe instead of suggesting the 2nd finger at the end of this R.H. run, you could suggest the 3rd? It makes the transition to the G-C-F chord in the next bar a bit easier.
-m14: Maybe you could write the R.H. Bb on beat 9 as a quarter note, since you're pretty consistent with the 3:2 polyrhythm in most of the rest of the sheet.
-m15-30: There are a few places in the R.H. rhythm that are played shorter/staccato, did you leave those out intentionally or not? (like m15 beat 5, m17 beat 10, m18 beat 3)
-m16: You could add in the E underneath the G on beat 4 in the R.H. too
-m34: The R.H. dyad on beat 1 only holds on for a dotted half note.
-m38: I think I hear G's in the L.H. on beats 11 and 12?
-m40-42: The 8th rests in the R.H. should be one tick lower (or higher) than they are now: they should always go in stave spaces, not on stave lines.

[Libera]

-m34: The R.H. dyad on beat 1 only holds on for a dotted half note.
-m40-42: The 8th rests in the R.H. should be one tick lower (or higher) than they are now: they should always go in stave spaces, not on stave lines.

Fixed these.

-m12: Maybe instead of suggesting the 2nd finger at the end of this R.H. run, you could suggest the 3rd? It makes the transition to the G-C-F chord in the next bar a bit easier.

Yeah I agree that works better.  Changed!

-m14: Maybe you could write the R.H. Bb on beat 9 as a quarter note, since you're pretty consistent with the 3:2 polyrhythm in most of the rest of the sheet.

Sure, but I also adjusted the first half of this bar to match.

-m15-30: There are a few places in the R.H. rhythm that are played shorter/staccato, did you leave those out intentionally or not? (like m15 beat 5, m17 beat 10, m18 beat 3)

I've added a few more staccatos, but not to the melody.  I agree there are some differences, but they are not as vast as between the string part and the melody.  Adding them made it feel a lot more disjointed (either by underemphasising the strings or having certain melody notes feel too disconnected).  I could get around this with more notation but I'd really prefer to keep it simple.

-m16: You could add in the E underneath the G on beat 4 in the R.H. too

For consistency I would prefer not to.  This way the dyads work currently also helps to emphasise the phrasing.

-m38: I think I hear G's in the L.H. on beats 11 and 12?

I hear them as Abs, as I have written them.


Thanks for checking!

[Bloop]

Sure, but I also adjusted the first half of this bar to match.

But the first half actually made sense in it's original beaming :p The piece switches back and forth between 3/4- and 6/8-like accents, and I hear this bar as 6/8 + 3/4 like the bar before.

Everything else looks good though ^^

[Libera]

Sure.

[Latios212]

Fortress of Lies

Looks good! Just a few aesthetic comments.
- For the RH chords in m. 5-12, it would be better to have all the ties bend downwards away from the upper notes
- The eighth rests in m. 21/23/25/27 would look nicer at their normal staff positions
- I'd suggest tying over the whole notes in the LH of m. 21-28 to the next measures to better imply each pair of measures stays on the same chord (and should keep the pedal)