[DELETED] [GBA] Mega Man Zero 4 - "Holy Land" by offbrandwagner

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Submission Information:
Series: Mega Man
Game: Mega Man Zero 4
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Holy Land
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: offbrandwagner

[offbrandwagner]

[XiaoMigros]

Hi! Welcome to NSM (or its submission process at least)

First some things specific to the site:

• Your files should follow these Formatting Guidelines, to keep it consistent with the other sheets on site. You can download a template file from the post I linked to and copy your notes into it.
• By using the You cannot view this attachment. YouTube button you can embed the video into your post.

And some more arrangement-related feedback:

• I don't think it makes sense to have the melody be played in octaves, as the sheet is now missing some harmony/extra layers that could otherwise be played. If you leave just the lower octave you would have more room for the strings. (Also you can include them in m1&m2 regardless).
• You only start changing clefs in the LH after m28, for consistency's sake it should either be done throughout the whole sheet or not at all.
• The triplets in the section of m28-33 would better be written as trills imo
• There is a rogue set of parentheses in m8
• I also feel like most of your courtesy accidentals are redundant, often the performer has just changed system or changed clef meaning the extra accidentals might just add more confusion
• The slur in m34 either needs repositioning or removing (I would argue the latter, again for consistency reasons)
• The ottava placement in m14 needs a check over but if you remove the octaves it won't be needed anyway. It's also advised (though not strictly needed) that grace notes are slurred to the note they lead into.
• Once all that has been done it's probably worth checking through the middle line again and figuring out how to best distribute it between hands.

[offbrandwagner]

Thanks for the reply! I was busy the last few days, so sorry for the late reply.

I've edited my submission. I agree with most of your changes and have edited the score accordingly, the only two points I disagree on are these:
- I agree with your first point, and have removed the top octave from the melody. However for the string chords, I'm not sure how to write them in as they occupy a range that is already covered by the countermelody, and I can't think of a solution that isn't awkward.
- For your point about the clef changes in m28-34: before the ending, there isn't really an opportunity to change the clef in the left hand stave because of the sustained bass notes, however whenever the countermelody goes to a higher register I usually switch it to the right hand stave, both to indicate that it is to be played by the right hand and to avoid the ugliness of excessive ledger lines on the lower stave. For m28-m34, it's not convenient for the higher parts of the countermelody to be played by the right hand, so it remains in the left hand stave. However, if I were not to change the clef in these bars there would be excessive ledger lines, and since the sustained bass note is not an issue here like earlier in the piece, I think the best solution is to change the clef, even if it is slightly inconsistent.

I was also wondering if you noticed any specific aspects of the formatting that was incorrect. I did my best to follow to guide on this website, but if there are any problems please tell me so I can fix them.

[Libera]

I was also wondering if you noticed any specific aspects of the formatting that was incorrect. I did my best to follow to guide on this website, but if there are any problems please tell me so I can fix them.

Look again through the guide and note the sizes of text, whether they should be bold/italicised, where they should be positioned etc.  The 'Pno.' markings also need to be removed.  E.g. it should be 'Composed by' rather than 'by' and that should be in bold face.  Things like mini-titles and page numbers aren't aligned to the margins etc.

[offbrandwagner]

Thanks, I fixed most of the problems with the formatting. The only thing you mentioned that I'm unsure about is the mini-title and page number positioning? They look correct to me but I'm happy to be told otherwise, with specific advise on how to fix it.

[XiaoMigros]

Thanks for the reply! I was busy the last few days, so sorry for the late reply.

No problem! Replying only a day later is actually very fast

As for the formatting stuff:

• The copyright/URL footer text is only needed on page 1, you can remove it on all others
• The left margin is too large, I'd recommend setting it to around 0.6 (0.5 like the right side, but with accounting for the brackets).
• Page numbers and header text look good to me alignment-wise, I would recheck the text size though.
• The composer/arranger text still could use some work, in terms of positioning and formatting. Here's something I came up with that's a little more compact:
  
  Composer/arranger text suggestion

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[offbrandwagner]

Thanks for the advice on making the composer credit more compact, I think it looks a lot better now! I've changed the left margin and double checked the title sizes and it should be all correct now. I also added a few more pedal indications that were missing.

[XiaoMigros]

Looking better You can move the arranger text closer to the composer text, and your margin settings haven't been applied to all pages, but I can see you've got the general idea.

On to the rest of the sheet..

for the string chords, I'm not sure how to write them in as they occupy a range that is already covered by the countermelody, and I can't think of a solution that isn't awkward.

Since the performer will be using the pedal as indicated, they won't need to hold the notes for their full duration, even if you write them as such.

As for the point about the clef changes, I see what you mean so it's best to keep them, though I think their implementation here could use some work. m30 and similar for example are completely readable in the bass clef. In general, up to 4 ledger lines is considered readable, so while you'll need clef changes for the high Cs and Ds, if possible try to preserve contours.

[XiaoMigros]

On second thought, you could probably write the whole LH of m28-34 entirely in treble clef, the performer will get used to reading the low Ds and Ebs pretty quick.

[Dekkadeci]

https://vgmdb.net/album/264 says that "Holy Land" is by Luna Umegaki only. Should shorten those composers' credits by quite a lot.

[offbrandwagner]

I've uploaded the latest version with your suggested changes and have also added the chords part.

Also thank you very much Dekkadeci for finding that! I'm not very familiar with video game music resources so thank you as well for introducing me to that website!

[XiaoMigros]

This is coming along really well! Before I check over the notes in detail, there's some other things worth taking a look at:

• Your dynamic marking should be horizontally centered under the notes. While it's not optimal due to the cross-staff beam there's enough space for it to still make sense doing so.
• The string voices you added should closer reflect the original track. Currently they are restruck too often in places they shouldn't be, and, particularly around m18-19, aren't restruck in places they should be. Can you go over the sheet and make sure this is fixed?
• Is m6 missing a cross-staffed D in the lower RH layer/LH?
• for m11 b1 LH and similar, you should hide one of the accidentals so it doesn't look like a double flat.
• m19 b4: The beam of the cross-staff part should be inbetween both staves, to keep it in line with the rest of the sheet.
• Is there a particular reason you didn't include the strings from m28 onwards? I think if you change the original octaves they are playing in it could still work, but I'm not sure. I think you can include them in m23 too.
• If you want to keep the different layers intact in m28-34, I think they should be written more clearly. You have hidden parts of both, and it looks a little uneven. You can write the durations for longer, like this:
  
  m28 LH

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• The trills you added should be mordents (this one's on me, I tend to refer to both as 'trills')
• The ottava at the end can be moved to the left by 5 arrow keys.

[XiaoMigros]

Notes (sorry if it's a bit too much):

• The strings are only occupied by two channels, i.e. they only ever play dyads, so you can omit any extra notes. Aside from m17-19, their rhythms are fairly simple, being made up only of half or whole notes. Given you are using the pedal it's not worth restriking their notes.
• m2: Missing a leading A2 on beat 4.5
• m3: on beat 4.5 the LH upper voice goes to F4 and C5, the latter of which can be moved to the RH for playability purposes.
• m4: similar to the comment above, including the last 3 16th notes (A3, E4, F4) of the upper LH voice would be playable if you move the last 2 notes to the RH. I think it's safe to leave out the A3 for playability purposes if you want.
• m6 and similar: I know the difference won't be audible because of the pedal but in my opinion the first two notes of the LH should be written as their original duration (two staccato 8ths).
• m7: the upper LH voice plays A4 as well as D3 on beat 1, and b4.75 is F4 not E4
• m8: Missing an A3 on beat 4.25. With cross-staffing you could include the A2 on beat 4.5 as well.
• m9: Missing D4s on beats 1 and 1.5
• m10: Missing D4 on b1, b3.25 is Bb3 not D4 and b3.5 is D4 not F4
• m13: Missing D4 on beat 1
• m14: I think you can include the first and maybe second note of the upper LH voice, and you should show the rests here.
  Missing a G3 on beat 3.5, an optional G3 on beat 4.25 and an F4 on beat 4.75
  In the RH I only hear the E6 grace note, not any of the others.
• m15: Missing D4 and G4, but this will probably be redundant once the strings are changed. Also an optional Bb3 on b4.5 in the bass voice. The grace notes should be moved in front of the barline, the D5 comes in on the beat.
• m16: Missing F4 on beat 1. I think you can include the last 3 notes (A3, C4, F4) here again, though the F4 may be a little difficult.
• m17: Missing (optional) D4 on beat 1. The E3 on b3 is played by this layer too, and the two following notes should be G#3 and B3.
• m18: Below the G4s there are D4s, b4 can be marked as rolled.
• m19: Missing E3 on b1.25, missing C#4 on b2.25, b2.5 is E4, b2.75 is G4, b3 is E4, b3.25 is C#4, b3.5 is A3 (in both layers), b3.75 is E3, b4 is missing an E4, b4.25 is E3, b4.5 is A3, b4.75 is C#4.
• m20: Missing D3 in the bass layer on b1.75. The courtesy accidental can be removed.
• m21: Missing F3 in the bass layer on b1.75. In the upper layer, b3.25 should be A, b3.5 should be D, and b4.75 should be G. Up to you in which octaves you put them to make it playable.
• m22: Missing D3 in the bass layer on b1.75. Missing D4 on beat 3. Missing C4 on beat 4.75.
• m23: Missing B3 in the bass layer on b1.75. b4 and b4.5 can be moved up an octave, and then you could include the notes on b4.5-4.75 (D4 and A3).
• m24: Using the lead in from m23, you can keep the bass layer closer to the original and move the G on b1 up an octave. Missing D3 on b1.75. b1.5 should be A3 instead of F3. b2.25 is F4, which I would move to the RH for playability. b3.25 is E3, b3.5 is G3, b3.75 is C4. Missing E3 on b4.5.
• m25: The C4 on b2.5 is played by the bass layer, not the upper layer. b3.25 should be D (I would use D3 for playability). On b4, the upper layer plays D3 too, as well as a rolled E and G. b4.25 is A3, b4.5 is C4, b4.75 is E4.
• m26: b1.75 has a rolled D4 playing above the Bb3. The F3 currently written at b1.75 actually comes in on b1.5. b3.25 is E3, b3.5 is G3, b3.75 is C4, b4.5 is missing an E. While there are some extra (rolled) notes playing on beats 1 and 3 but I don't think those can be included.
• m27: b1 is missing a rolled D4 and F4, b1.25 is F3, b1.5 is A3, b1.75 is D4. (This voice also plays C3 on beat 3 but I don't think it's worth notating). b3.25 is G3, b3.5 is A3, b3.75 is C4. In the bass layer, I'm not sure if it's been changed for playability but I think it's possible to play G3 on b3.5 and C4 on b4.
• m28: b1.5 is C4, not D4. b4.5 sounds staccato.
• m29: b1.5 is C4, not D4. RH b4.5 doesn't sound staccato to me, LH does.
• m30: b1.75 is F4, b2.25 is G4. You could include the D5 on b2.75, but that might clash with the RH. b4.5 sounds staccato.
  RH: b1 is Eb4, b1.25 is F4, b1.5 is G4, b1.75 is A4, b2 is Bb4, b2.5 is C5, b3 is Bb4, b3.25 is C5, b3.5 is D5, b3.75 is Eb5, b4 is F5, b4.25 is Eb5, b4.5 is D5, b4.75 is C5.
• m31: b1.75 is F4, b2.25 is G4. The notes from b3.5-4 are actually part of the upper voice. b4 should be D4 and G4 instead of Eb4. In the upper voice there is a currently missing Bb3 on b4.5, the note in the lower voice sounds staccato.
  RH: b1 is D5, b1.25 is Eb5, b1.5 is F5, b1.75 is G5, b2 is A5, b2.25 is G5.
• m32: b1.5 is C4. b4.5 sounds staccato.
• m33: b1.5 is C4. RH b4 doesn't sound staccato to me, LH b4.5 does.
• m34: The RH should be one octave lower. The LH is the same as m30, up to you how much of it you think can be included here.
• m35: The ottava in the RH can be removed, so can the upper octave of the LH. The accordion, playing the lower octave in the RH, only joins at beat 3, so the first 4 lower notes in the RH can be removed.

Unless stated otherwise all corrections can be assumed to be for the Upper LH/cross-staffed layer.

Hope this helps!

[offbrandwagner]

I apologise for the long delay in replying. I just finished my final assignments for the first semester of University, but I'm all free now. Also, I haven't uploaded updated files for the midi and mus files because I'm having a strange problem where when finale tries to create those files they end up being unreadable and having zero bytes.

Anyways, thank you heaps for the detailed corrections. I've uploaded a pdf with all these corrections, as well as a string part that (hopefully) better reflects the strings in the original track. There were a few points I disagreed with you on;
- m6: I added a rest, however I don't think the staccato is necessary even in representing the original track, as they don't sound staccato to me. Idk, maybe the second one, but to me they sound like 2 eighth notes followed by a rest.
- m14: I don't hear the F4 on 4.75. Which part are you referring to?
- m16: I don't think the F4 is playable
- m22: I'm not sure what you mean by D4 on beat 3?
- m24: I think moving the G up an octave would be awkward for the rest of the bar
- m26: I'm not sure what you mean by "the F3 currently written at b1.75"
- m27: Although my original transcription of the bass on beat 3 and 4 was wrong, I disagree that the G3 on b3.5 is playable given the G3 in the upper left hand voice on b3.25
- m30: I think the D5 on b2.75 would clash with the RH
- m33: I think it would be better to keep the RH in the octave it is, as lowering it an octave would clash with the right hand notes and make it awkward to play