[DELETED] [PS1] Final Fantasy VII - "The Planet's Crisis" by Whoppybones

Started by Zeta, August 08, 2022, 04:11:04 PM

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Submission Information:

Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Final Fantasy VII
Console: PlayStation
Title: The Planet's Crisis
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Whoppybones


I applaud taking on this track, it must've been quite the challenge! I'll admit though, going through this might take a little while, both because of the length of the original, and because some places definitely need some work. Because of that, I'll leave feedback in batches too. This is feedback for slightly more than the first page, up to m11:

-m1-3: I think it's alright if you just change the half notes to dotted half notes, and maybe even add "con pedale" at the start. I doubt whether Uematsu intended the harp to mute at beat 4, since I think it's just the soundfont of the harp dying out quite quickly. Also, maybe a dynamic marking like p or mp would work better, since this beginning part is very peaceful.
-m4-7: I personally think the 8va isn't that needed, as 3 ledger lines is still very readable.
-m4 and 6: The D and F# in the L.H. on beat 1 need to switch layers: the D is in the harp part (layer 1) and the F# in the string part (layer 2)
-m7: The R.H. is very far from the barline for some reason. Also, the A# in the L.H. should be a Bb (Bbmaj7 chord). Lastly, it looks a bit cleaner to have the clef change between beats instead of inside of beats, so the bass clef should go before the 8th rest (this 8th+16th rest could also be a dotted 8th rest btw, if you want).
-m8-11: These 4 measures are one of the places that will really need some work :p Some detailed feedback regarding these four bars:
  -First off, I think this is better counted in fast quarter notes rather than 8ths. It makes the rhythm a bit easier to read as well. Because of this, it's also better to divide the bars as 1 bar of 4/4, 1 bar of 5/4, 3 bars of 4/4 (2 for the riff in the original m9, 1 for the first half of m10), 1 bar of 5/4, and 2 bars of 4/4. Also, if you see a very lengthy beam like the on in m9, there should be some alarm bells going off that something isn't quite right :p Beams are rarely longer than 7 or 8 notes without some sort of division. I'll use the original measure and beat count for this feedback now though, so make sure to compare with the current pdf or change the beats afterwards.
  -I think it's best to change the key signature to a keyless one (so no sharps or flats). This whole part is mostly based on a diminished 7th chord, so the key signature doesn't add any useful information. It also makes it extra clear this is a whole different section than the one before or after. This will change some of the enharmonic spelling, but maybe you can take a look at that yourself first. I'll give some feedback on it next time if needed ^^
  -In m8 and m10 you have these high flute runs up to augmented fourths. The grace notes in these runs should be 16ths (any set of grace notes that consist of two or more notes should have at least 2 beams). The first one of these runs should fall on beat later (so on beat 3 instead of beat 2.5) For the second one of these runs, on beat 6, there isn't enough time for the R.H. to jump up from the B# or Eb on beat 5.5. You could either leave out the grace notes for this one altogether, or just leave in the Eb or F# as a fast grace note (this one should be an 8th note then, single grace notes are always 8ths). Lastly, the ones in m10 could use octave signs, since these are quite high.
  -In the L.H. of these two measures, the off-beat hits (the treble clef ones) should all have a perfect fifth underneath them. Also, make sure the staccato on the octave in beat 1 is above the note, like later on in the measure.
  -In m11, you can add an octave below the L.H. notes, as these are the same voice as the octaves in the previous measures. Make sure to write this in the bass clef too then. Also, in the R.H. chord on beat 5, the Dn should be an En.

I hope you can get some use out of this feedback!


Challenging, yup! I'm not surprised it'll take a while (amateur arranger and long hard song), but I seem to enjoy arranging ending themes a lot and I know my dad likes this song. I'll do my best to get this updated as fast as I can after receiving feedback, and here's my reply to your first batch, Bloop:

 - m1-3: Done
 - m4-7: Changed
 - m4, m6: That slipped past me. It is now fixed.
 - m7: That was an odd formatting quirk... It has been corrected.
 - m8-11
"First off": It does indeed make sense to count it as fast quarters. There are a few spots throughout this song that I was confused as to if I should adjust as such or not, so I appreciate you keeping an eye out for me. As far as the lengthy beam... That was an error I made when creating the time sig in Musescore. It has been dealt with.
"I think it's best": Okie dok, makes sense to me. Following a google search for what a diminished 7th chord was, I did my best with the enharmonic spellings. Likely still needs work.
"In m8 and m10": Noted, I've adjusted the lengths. The one beat later I think I misheard due to how grace notes play in Musescore, I've righted the wrong. I also fixed the problem of too many notes on the b6 runs. Let me know what you think of how I did it.
"In the L.H.": Don't know how I missed that, so thanks! I've added the notes where they belong. Staccato has also been corrected.
"In m11": Octave added in, and notes heard correctly.

There were also a few miscellaneous edits mostly revolving around some key changes later in the song. None of that has feedback yet though, so I won't bother to go into details.
Thanks again for the feedback! ;D


Great! Just a few tiny things for the first 15 measures:
-m8: The L.H. stems in beat 3-4 should be flipped
-m11: You can write the Eb on beat 3 as a D# too, since it's rising up to an En again.
-m15: It's better to have the new tempo mark start on beat 3 instead of beat 3.5, as that is where the player will be counting the new tempo from.

And some more feedback up to m38:
-m17: All A#'s, E#'s and B#'s should be Bb's, Fn's and Cn's. The chord here is a Bb/D chord (Bb-D-F over a D bass), of which the fifth (the F) is raised for the first half of the bar making it a Bb+ chord (Bb-D-F#). The An on beat 1.5 in the R.H. should be a Bb as well.
-m18: Following from the E#'s being changed to F#'s in m17, it'd be nice to have a courtesy accidental on the R.H. F# here too.
-m22: Maybe you can move the first 3 notes of the bottom layer in the R.H. (G-G-F#) to the L.H.? It's a bit hard for the R.H. to reach these notes and keep holding the top B (which is still required with pedal, since I'm guessing the pedal should be lifted at beat 3 for the new chord)
-m24-25: You can write the lower B in m24 beat 1 in a separate layer as two tied whole notes throughout these measures, the pedal will make sure the note will keep ringing, and if they player holds the B from m24 beat 3.5 it will keep on ringing in m25 too.
-m25: The stems of the upper layer in the L.H. should be flipped.
-m28: I hear 8th notes A-G in the lower layer of the R.H. in beat 1 (instead of a quarter note G)
-m30-33: Maybe you could try writing the high string line and trumpet line (which is an octave below the high string line) as the melody voice in octaves, and fill in the harmonies between instead? It will make this part sound a bit more triumphant because of the extended range.
-m37: Maybe you could add a courtesy accidental to the C# in the L.H.?
-m38: Same as above for the D# in the L.H. Also, maybe you could stop the decrescendo hairpin on beat 1 of this measure instead, and add a little crescendo hairpin on the tremolo on beat 4 to the fortissimo.


I'm deleting this for the moment cuz I've got a different song that I want to get submitted (which will be significantly faster to complete). If you have more feedback, DM it to me on Discord because I plan to resubmit this as soon as I have space for a new submission.