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LeviR.star's Halloween Sheet - [3DS] Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn - "Devilish Mode"
LeviR.star:
390th
[3DS] Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn - "Devilish Mode"
"Devilish Mode" is how I have it titled currently, but I could easily be talked into renaming it to "Devil's Theme".
Libera:
This is too much. You can have the one 3-page sheet or the two short ones, not both. The 3-page sheet is a perfectly good length for a single submission, whereas the other two sheets are short, and so we would allow both of them.
I hope that clears it up for you.
LeviR.star:
--- Quote from: Libera on September 29, 2022, 08:41:28 PM ---This is too much. You can have the one 3-page sheet or the two short ones, not both. The 3-page sheet is a perfectly good length for a single submission, whereas the other two sheets are short, and so we would allow both of them.
I hope that clears it up for you.
--- End quote ---
Understood. I'll delete the two shorter ones.
cacabish:
I really, really like this piece. It's got this carnival-istic (is that a word?) vibe to it and I love the playfulness of it. Much spook. ;D
Some light feedback from me: :D
* m.1-2 (and other analogous places) - I'm not really hearing the fp to mf crescendos you put in there. It all kinda sounds the same dynamic to me. Or if there is a build-up, it's very subtle, certainly not what I would describe as crescendo-ing from p to mf. Still, I do like this kinda dramatic buildup from a playing perspective, though, I'm just not sure if it's fully appropriate/accurate.
* m.3-4 (and other analogous places) RH - It sounds like the Bb ties into the proceeding A, so, I would maybe add tenuto on the Bb or add a slur from the Bb to the A. I think that would give it this very satisfying hold-and-release with the staccato.
* m.14 (and other analogous places) RH - I don't think that the G# and A (beat 2) are necessarily both staccato. To me, it sounds like the G# slurs into the A and the A is staccato, though it could also be that both of them are legato leading to the B, not quite sure. Also, it sounds like the beat 1 A has a lift to it, so maybe make it an eighth note or something?
* m.15-16 (and other analogous places) RH - I would maybe replace the beat 1 D#-G dyad with a Eb-G dyad to keep the major 3rd intervals parallel across the ups-and-down. That said, what you have is quite legible, so I don't know if this necessitates changing.
* m.18 (and other analogous places) RH - It sounds to me that beats 1 and 1.5 are slurred (as you have it), beats 2 and 2.5 are slurred similarly (with staccato only on beat 2.5), and beat 3 is not staccato at all.That's it from me for now. Very nice work on this one! :)
LeviR.star:
--- Quote from: cacabish on October 02, 2022, 09:13:59 PM ---
* m.1-2 (and other analogous places) - I'm not really hearing the fp to mf crescendos you put in there. It all kinda sounds the same dynamic to me. Or if there is a build-up, it's very subtle, certainly not what I would describe as crescendo-ing from p to mf. Still, I do like this kinda dramatic buildup from a playing perspective, though, I'm just not sure if it's fully appropriate/accurate.
* m.3-4 (and other analogous places) RH - It sounds like the Bb ties into the proceeding A, so, I would maybe add tenuto on the Bb or add a slur from the Bb to the A. I think that would give it this very satisfying hold-and-release with the staccato.
* m.14 (and other analogous places) RH - I don't think that the G# and A (beat 2) are necessarily both staccato. To me, it sounds like the G# slurs into the A and the A is staccato, though it could also be that both of them are legato leading to the B, not quite sure. Also, it sounds like the beat 1 A has a lift to it, so maybe make it an eighth note or something?
* m.15-16 (and other analogous places) RH - I would maybe replace the beat 1 D#-G dyad with a Eb-G dyad to keep the major 3rd intervals parallel across the ups-and-down. That said, what you have is quite legible, so I don't know if this necessitates changing.
* m.18 (and other analogous places) RH - It sounds to me that beats 1 and 1.5 are slurred (as you have it), beats 2 and 2.5 are slurred similarly (with staccato only on beat 2.5), and beat 3 is not staccato at all.
--- End quote ---
- Personally, I don't agree; there's definitely a dynamic build-up in the music (mainly the percussion), and while it may not be audible in the piano part like you're implying, I felt reducing the piece down to a piano solo necessitated it, so that the music can still be just as expressive
- when you used the word "ties" I was confused, but now I see where you're coming from. I'll add some slurs!
- you're right, that first eighth note is definitely tied into the next. Though, I don't agree with the quarter note having a release, so I'll keep that the same
- you know, I was unsure of that spot myself. But now that I've got your opinion, I'm comfortable with creating an extra accidental (the E-natural) in the measure, as a result of the E-flat
- you're right, and I think the fifth note of those two bars is sustained through the rest of the measure, too. Made those edits
Thanks for the feedback, cacabish! It's much appreciated.
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