Rubikium's Halloween Sheet - [SW] KatFL - "Invasion at the House of Horrors"

Started by Rubikium, September 29, 2022, 05:06:42 PM

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Kricketune54


Static

Very nice to see more Forgotten Land
  • Marcato markings always go above the staff, or if there's multiple layers, on the stem side.
  • m6 LH beat 3.5: There's an additional note here in the bass.
  • m7/51 RH: Maybe spelling this as B major instead of Cb major would look nicer, although it's not much of a difference either way.
  • m9 LH beats 1-2: Maybe a courtesy natural here?
  • m9 beats 3-4: This lick I think would be more effective an octave down as in the original; the RH would still have time to jump back up to m10. You can use the note mover tool, split stem tool, or just add a 2nd layer. 2nd layer would probably be the easiest.
  • m10-29 RH: Most of the melody doesn't sound legato to me. If anything, it sounds like there's a rest between notes on beat 1/3 and the notes after. For simplicity I would probably just remove the slurs rather than change the rhythms.
  • m12 LH beat 4.25: There's a D here (same rhythm as m10 beat 4).
  • m16 RH: Chords are correct but the voicings sound more like this to me:
  • m36 LH: I hear the rhythm a bit differently here. Also, I think it's fine to include the repeated 16ths here since the RH doesn't have much going on and it's not too hard to play at this tempo. Leave them out if you prefer, though.
  • m39/43 LH beat 1: This rhythm should be 16th-8th-16th instead of 8th-16th-16th.
  • m40 LH beat 3.5: This should just be an 8th note, there's no 16th note on beat 3.75.
  • m41 RH: This measure sounds quite a bit different to me. I'm not entirely sure on what's going on there but I'm hearing something more like this:
  • m46 LH beat 3.5: Missing 16th note here.
  • m50 LH should look just like m46 LH, once you've made the change to m46.
  • m51 RH beats 3-4: The articulation is varied here, it's not just legato. Also, you can hide the rest in layer 2 and flip layer 1 down if you want.
  • m52 RH: The upper voice continues here, but I suppose it isn't as important as the previous couple bars.

Rubikium


Static

All the changes look good to me, so I'll approve. One last small thing from me though: you can move the quarter rest in m50 RH to the middle, since both layers share the rest.

I'd like some other opinions on m41. I hear what's in the sheet, but there are some things in my screenshot above I'm still hearing as well.

Bloop

This is a very decent looking sheet! Just a few comments:

-m32-33: You could write this part in naturals and sharps too, so it reads a bit more nicely and leads better into the Dm in m34:
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-m46-53: Was there a specific reason you left out the bottom note of the orchestra hits here, compared to m2-9? I think they sound the same
-m51: Usually when alternating between staccato and legato, the slur ends on staccato notes and starts again at legato notes. So in this case, the slur from the electric guitar voice should end at beat 3, with a new shorter slur from beat 3.5 to beat 4.

Quote from: Static on October 16, 2022, 09:38:51 AMI'd like some other opinions on m41. I hear what's in the sheet, but there are some things in my screenshot above I'm still hearing as well.
damn that's a hard to hear measure lol, I hear something like this
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I'm pretty sure about the F on beat 2 and the high C on beat 4, but not 100% about the D-G below in beat 4.

Rubikium

Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2022, 03:22:56 AM-m46-53: Was there a specific reason you left out the bottom note of the orchestra hits here, compared to m2-9? I think they sound the same
I forgot the reason, but I guess it might be to match the number of notes in chords in m50-51. I've added back those bottom notes now

Quote from: Bloop on October 18, 2022, 03:22:56 AMdamn that's a hard to hear measure lol, I hear something like this
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I'm pretty sure about the F on beat 2 and the high C on beat 4, but not 100% about the D-G below in beat 4.
That sounds good to me too

Everything else should be fixed!

Bloop