[NDS] The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass - "The Great Sea" by Cashwarrior1

Started by Zeta, October 01, 2022, 12:40:04 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: The Legend of Zelda
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: The Great Sea
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Cashwarrior1

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cashwarrior1


Bloop

For some reason I have a vague memory of already seeing this on-site before, but I guess I was mistaken haha

-m2, 4, 6: The horn voice on F sounds like it's a little bit more in the foreground, maybe you could consider removing the top Bb and moving it down an octave (if it's not already there)?
-m4: I don't hear the extra Eb on beat 4.75, just a staccato quarter on beat 4.
-m18 and 22: The rhythm on beat 3 should be a triplet quarter+8th, instead of two straight 8ths.
-m20: I think I hear a Bb instead of an Ab on beat 4.5 in the L.H.?

I think that's all, nice work!

cashwarrior1

Quote from: Bloop on October 07, 2022, 04:44:54 AMFor some reason I have a vague memory of already seeing this on-site before, but I guess I was mistaken haha
That is called a premonition

Quote from: Bloop on October 07, 2022, 04:44:54 AM-m4: I don't hear the extra Eb on beat 4.75, just a staccato quarter on beat 4.
what there's no note there.. i hate that

Updated.

Bloop


XiaoMigros

  • m1: I hear an extra Bb3 in the RH (Horn plays Bb4, strings do smooth voice leading)
  • m2: on b4.5 the horn plays Bb3, albeit quite softly
  • m3: I hear Eb4 instead of G4 here
  • m4: I don't hear the Eb4 on b4, the timpani play Eb3 but I don't think that's relevant for the arrangement
  • m5-7: see m1-3
  • m8: Here I hear a Fb major chord (En should be Fb, Cn should be Cb, yes it sounds weird)
  • m9: RH b4 sounds staccato to me
  • m10: The Eb on b1 is part of the upper layer, not the lower layer
  • m11: see m9
  • m12: see m10
  • m14 b4.5: I hear an Eb4 here
  • m15: Maybe keep the chords sustained for the whole measure here? It kind of loses that continuous feel from earlier rn..
  • m17: What do you think of including the lower harmony here (Db4-F4)? If you add it, you should include it in m18 as well (it plays the second half of the measure in unison with your lower layer)
  • m20: I think there's a C4 hinted at on b1.25. You can also move the Ab in the chord down an octave, as the performer plays ninths earlier in the piece (or if you want you can move it to the LH).
  • m21-24: Basically the same thing as m17-20, transposed by a whole tone.
  • m25-26: see m17-18
  • m28: on b4-4.5 there's some harmony playing, F and Ab4 respectively.
  • m29-32: The first note in each measure sounds staccato to me
  • m35: I don't think there's an F4 on b3
  • m36: I only hear the octave being played in the RH, no additional harmony
I also think your accompaniment would be better of staccato throughout (except for m1-8 and the ending).

cashwarrior1

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m4: I don't hear the Eb4 on b4, the timpani play Eb3 but I don't think that's relevant for the arrangement
The french horn plays the Eb softly

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m10: The Eb on b1 is part of the upper layer, not the lower layer
I notated it that way because it's easier (and looks nicer) to just have that in the second layer. (plus I don't want the player to see too many held notes and then want to use the pedal because of that)

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m14 b4.5: I hear an Eb4 here
I'm not hearing that one

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m15: Maybe keep the chords sustained for the whole measure here? It kind of loses that continuous feel from earlier rn..
This is more just how I perform the piece, but I find it easier to just play those notes again instead of having to worry about sustaining it when everything else is short :p

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m20: I think there's a C4 hinted at on b1.25. You can also move the Ab in the chord down an octave, as the performer plays ninths earlier in the piece (or if you want you can move it to the LH).
I'm not really hearing that note on b1.25, but even then it's also just cleaner to have eighth notes. Also, I left the Ab up the octave for personal preference. I figured since this part of the piece is more light, I'll keep the harmonies closer together. (and also I find having the major 2nd makes that top note stand out more, but that's just how I play it)

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m36: I only hear the octave being played in the RH, no additional harmony
Since this part is more full and grand I wanted to add harmonies so it had the same feeling on piano.

Quote from: XiaoMigros on October 13, 2022, 05:25:54 AM
  • m9: RH b4 sounds staccato to me
  • m29-32: The first note in each measure sounds staccato to me
I also think your accompaniment would be better of staccato throughout (except for m1-8 and the ending).
Since it's a march (and also just by looking at it) the performer will automatically play everything staccato, so I don't need to notate that and make the sheet more cluttered. I only put the staccato on the quarter notes because that's really the only thing that needs that clarification.

Updated.

EDIT: I did go through and add the staccatos, but put a "simile" to hide them. I kinda forgot to realize that when the beginning is legato and it switches to staccato, there needs to be clarification (i was kinda just looking at the piece minus the intro).

XiaoMigros

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 13, 2022, 08:52:33 AMThe french horn plays the Eb softly
To me it still sounds like an overtone of the bass stuff but alright

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 13, 2022, 08:52:33 AMI'm not hearing that one
It's mainly in the left ear, the voice goes from G to C via Eb

Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 13, 2022, 08:52:33 AMSince it's a march (and also just by looking at it) the performer will automatically play everything staccato, so I don't need to notate that and make the sheet more cluttered.
Maybe write that in front of the bpm? It wasn't immediately obvious to me, though that might just be me lol

cashwarrior1

apparently i missed this feedback for uh.. 2 months lol

I still wasn't hearing the Eb in m14 very clearly but I added it anyways.

Updated.

Latios212

Nice sheet here! Sorry for the wait, I meant to review this a long time ago... just a couple things to mention.

- This is up to you, but in measures 11-12 I would suggest keeping the upper left hand notes as Bb instead of Ab. The chord here is Db/E and while the Bb isn't technically a part of that chord, I think reinforcing the bass with fifths brings out the Eb bass a little better to give it a consistent sound with the rest of the bassline here which also uses fifths to reinforce the bottom note. The chord change is pretty apparent in the right hand, so I think keeping the left hand the same there would be good. Play around with it and see what you think sounds best.
- The lower tie between m. 27-28 should point up away from the C on bottom.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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cashwarrior1

I do like the sound of Bb in measure 11-12 more, they should've just done that lol

Updated.

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
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Zeta