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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Colosseum
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Nascour's Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54

[Kricketune54]

[Bloop]

-I think it sounds a bit better to separate the timpani and low string parts into separate octaves like this:

Currently they're in each other's way, and both of them don't really come out as well as they could. In m4-7 there's an accent on the A in the brass every two beats, which you could add like this:

For m1 you could either have the whole note in the L.H. as a half note, or leave out the timpani for this bar only:

-m1: You could write the Eb as D# too, so it's the same note as in the L.H. Same in m2 and m6: They don't necessarily have to be an Eb since they don't go down chromatically to a D, so you can make them all D#'s for some more consistency.
-m2: I don't hear the R.H. horns re-strike on beat 2, so you could just make the note on beat 1 a half note.
-m8-9: I hear this in the L.H. at the end of m8:

You could leave it to the player's interpretation, but you could add a pedal mark in these two bars too.
-m10: The R.H. jump to this octave on beat 1 is very big and very fast: you could change the last two 16ths in the R.H. in m9 to an 8th, and move the lower A in m10 to the L.H. Using the pedal in m9 helps letting the notes ring on until the start of m10 too.
Lastly, the two quarter rests at the end of m10 should be a half rest.

[Kricketune54]

-I think it sounds a bit better to separate the timpani and low string parts into separate octaves like this:

Agreed, fixed

Currently they're in each other's way, and both of them don't really come out as well as they could. In m4-7 there's an accent on the A in the brass every two beats, which you could add like this:

Very good point I guess m10 RH I was getting that emphasis but missed opportunity to also have it earlier. Fixed

For m1 you could either have the whole note in the L.H. as a half note, or leave out the timpani for this bar only:

Gonna go with the half note option

-m1: You could write the Eb as D# too, so it's the same note as in the L.H. Same in m2 and m6: They don't necessarily have to be an Eb since they don't go down chromatically to a D, so you can make them all D#'s for some more consistency.

Okay! Fixed as D#

-m2: I don't hear the R.H. horns re-strike on beat 2, so you could just make the note on beat 1 a half note.

Oh I've been mishearing that for a while then lol. Fixed

-m8-9: I hear this in the L.H. at the end of m8

Fixed

You could leave it to the player's interpretation, but you could add a pedal mark in these two bars too.

This seems like a good idea, added

-m10: The R.H. jump to this octave on beat 1 is very big and very fast: you could change the last two 16ths in the R.H. in m9 to an 8th, and move the lower A in m10 to the L.H. Using the pedal in m9 helps letting the notes ring on until the start of m10 too.

Great suggestions, fixed to this.

Lastly, the two quarter rests at the end of m10 should be a half rest.

Fixed


Thanks! Updated

[Bloop]

Looking good!
In m1, you can flip the staccatos in the L.H. on beat 3-4.5 since there's no note or rest below them anymore, and there should be a (low) E in beat 4.5 as well. The pedal mark in m8-9 should be split into one pedal mark per bar, so we don't have the Bb major chord ringing on into the E7 :p

[Kricketune54]

Added the bits for measure 1 and the pedal mark. Updated!

[Bloop]

Great, approved!

[Libera]

The notes look fine to me, but I have some concerns from an arrangement perspective.

-I think you've tried to combine too much to make the LH pattern.  It's confusing to read, play, and to listen to.  Honestly, I would just remove the low Es on beats 2.5, 4.5 etc. because I don't think they really add anything other than confusion.
-To me, the bass part of a piece is its bedrock, and so missing it out is always a risky arrangement choice.  Bars 8-9 have a markedly different feel to them than the original because the driving ostinato pattern suddenly disappears.  You could at least still include it in bar 9, after playing the chord on beat 1.
-Separately, have you considered a system distribution of 3-3-3-2 instead?  Or maybe 3-3-2-3, depending on what you do with bar 9.  I think it looks a lot more even, personally.

[Kricketune54]

-I think you've tried to combine too much to make the LH pattern.  It's confusing to read, play, and to listen to.  Honestly, I would just remove the low Es on beats 2.5, 4.5 etc. because I don't think they really add anything other than confusion.

Was wondering if this LH was too ambitious. Tough to play when I tried, and I think the E can be sort of implied by removing, which I have now done.

-To me, the bass part of a piece is its bedrock, and so missing it out is always a risky arrangement choice.  Bars 8-9 have a markedly different feel to them than the original because the driving ostinato pattern suddenly disappears.  You could at least still include it in bar 9, after playing the chord on beat 1.

I get what you're saying and agree the bass part is the bedrock. Felt tho that it took a bit of a backseat for this section, and as you likely noted, the bass notes class with the low brass melody as far as octave pitches for the measures in question. That's my reasoning for not terminating the RH part and just making the current LH the RH.

I've added bassline pitches from beat 2 to 4 for the m9 LH, they'll still sound different from staccato feel of previous sections

-Separately, have you considered a system distribution of 3-3-3-2 instead?  Or maybe 3-3-2-3, depending on what you do with bar 9.  I think it looks a lot more even, personally.

No I hadn't, and I agree it looks more even with four systems. Went with 3-3-3-2. Thanks for the feedback

[Libera]

Changes look great, apart from I don't hear those notes for the bass in bar 9.  It sounds to me like it continues the E-Fn alternating pattern and also has some E - G# stuff happening more irregularly above it...

[Kricketune54]

I disagree, I hear the pattern in question change with the chords, ex. m8 is Bb-Dn and it shifts to Bn-Dn in m9. The E-G# sounds like it is the bass drum (timpani?) part

[Libera]

I think I can hear what you're talking about listening again.  I still hear the other stuff as well but this is fine and works perfectly well.

Will accept!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot