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Author Topic: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet  (Read 2354 times)

Code_Name_Geek

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Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« on: October 05, 2022, 04:53:17 PM »

We did a collaboration for this project, hope that's okay! I'll probably be the one responding the most since I'm the formatting/Finale guy.

A note on series: Rune Factory began as a spin-off of Harvest Moon (the first three games were released with the subtitle, "A Fantasy Harvest Moon"). Since then, it's grown into more of its own series, though still sharing a lot of elements with Harvest Moon. Essentially, Rune Factory is to Harvest Moon what Persona is to Megami Tensei. I'll leave it up to the updater's discretion whether it should be grouped in with Harvest Moon on the series page or go in the Other category.

Here it is!

XiaoMigros

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2022, 11:45:11 AM »

I can't speak for the updaters on this, but a collaboration should be fine! Especially since you don't exceed the number of allowed sheets in any scenario.
  • The footer seems a bit oversized
  • m11-12: This sounds like a copy/paste error, I hear this figure starting on D5 and D3.
  • m15-25: The notes here sound good, but I think the presentation could use some work. For m15-18, the D-G figure in the RH would look better cross-staffed coming from the LH. Additionally, keeping some of these notes in the LH would allow the notes RH upper layer to be sustained longer (in the track they are held until the next note). m19 and m23 are identical yet written under both voltas.
  • m27-44: The melody could use some more articulation
  • m46-56: Adding a D.S. al Coda marking here could save writing out the same section twice.
  • m58-end RH: for the harmonising voice between the main melody it would make more sense to either use a separate layer when needed or to write the whole hand in one layer, instead of the mix that it is currently.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2022, 09:47:08 PM »

  • The footer seems a bit oversized
  • m11-12: This sounds like a copy/paste error, I hear this figure starting on D5 and D3.
Fixed.

  • m15-25: The notes here sound good, but I think the presentation could use some work. For m15-18, the D-G figure in the RH would look better cross-staffed coming from the LH. Additionally, keeping some of these notes in the LH would allow the notes RH upper layer to be sustained longer (in the track they are held until the next note). m19 and m23 are identical yet written under both voltas.
Added the cross-staff notation as well as writing the upper layer to be sustained longer. Also moved the first ending to start on m20 instead of 19.

  • m27-44: The melody could use some more articulation
Talked this over with Samusthedude and we added a couple of articulations, but we think that the rest of the trumpet melody is tongued notes that are held the full value so it doesn't need much in the way of articulations.

  • m46-56: Adding a D.S. al Coda marking here could save writing out the same section twice.
  • m58-end RH: for the harmonising voice between the main melody it would make more sense to either use a separate layer when needed or to write the whole hand in one layer, instead of the mix that it is currently.
Yeah that all makes sense. Since there was only one measure with two layers I just made it all one layer.

Thanks for taking a look!

Libera

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2022, 09:00:06 PM »

Yep, a collaboration is totally fine for this!

Onto feedback:

-The copyright/url is the wrong size.
-I'd have another look at the left hand notes in 5-7.  I don't know if there's some sort of key-sig or clef error there, but the notes are not very accurate at all.  In general I think it should be outlining a C#dim7 chord, whereas we have G#s, Ds, Fs etc.
-I feel like the rit actually starts on the third beat of bar 13 rather than at the start of bar 14.
-You're missing some harmony notes in the RH of bars 15+, that pretty much just sits below the melody in 6ths.
-The way bars 15-18 is written out is pretty confusing, and it's not very clear where the various voices actually are.  The middle voice is awkwardly acting as if it is in both the top and bottom voices at the same time and at a glance it looks like there are beats missing, or too many beats in the bar etc.  I would try to be really clear about what is happening to avoid this sort of confusion.  Here's one possibility that condenses layers while still be readable:
Spoiler
[close]
but you could also do something like properly treat the middle voice as a second layer in the right hand (although the stemming might get a little inefficient space-wise).
-Why does the left hand change from octaves in bar 19?  I don't really hear any particular change like that in the original.
-In bar 20, the mordent only applies to the second layer but that isn't apparent in the sheet.  One solution would be to just write it out explicitly with grace notes, kind of like in bar 22.  Maybe there is some other solution.
-I feel like bar 25 should look the same as bar 45, or maybe you could have an extra low D in bar 45 on beat 1 to differentiate them.  At any rate, it still seems like there's a distinct hit on beat 1 in bar 25.
-Generally in bars 26-45/46-64 I think the bass needs to be bigger (and lower) to really get across this bombastic sort of style.  I'd suggest making the bass into octaves, and having the LH move off of the chords when it moves outside of beat 1 (since I think a movement in the bass is more important than a restatement of a chord already played).  Maybe something like this?
Spoiler
[close]
-I feel like the bass goes back up to a Bb in bar 33/53.  It also moves down to a F on beat 3 in the same bar.
-Similarly in bar 40/60, the bass plays an F on beat 3.

I hope that helps!

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2022, 05:29:38 AM »

Yep, a collaboration is totally fine for this!
Awesome, thanks!!

-The copyright/url is the wrong size.
Oops, there was a weird issue where random characters were showing up in the copyright so I had to delete and re-enter it and must have gotten the size wrong. Fixed.

-I'd have another look at the left hand notes in 5-7.  I don't know if there's some sort of key-sig or clef error there, but the notes are not very accurate at all.  In general I think it should be outlining a C#dim7 chord, whereas we have G#s, Ds, Fs etc.
This part has both of us pretty stumped, but we went over it again it and definitely noticed some different notes so hopefully it's closer at least?

-I feel like the rit actually starts on the third beat of bar 13 rather than at the start of bar 14.
Yeah you're right, done.

-You're missing some harmony notes in the RH of bars 15+, that pretty much just sits below the melody in 6ths.
-The way bars 15-18 is written out is pretty confusing, and it's not very clear where the various voices actually are.  The middle voice is awkwardly acting as if it is in both the top and bottom voices at the same time and at a glance it looks like there are beats missing, or too many beats in the bar etc.  I would try to be really clear about what is happening to avoid this sort of confusion.  Here's one possibility that condenses layers while still be readable:
Spoiler
[close]
but you could also do something like properly treat the middle voice as a second layer in the right hand (although the stemming might get a little inefficient space-wise).
-Those harmony notes are hard to pick out, but I think we got them?
-Yeah, I see what you mean about the missing beats. Decided to follow your suggestion and move that whole part to the left hand.

-Why does the left hand change from octaves in bar 19?  I don't really hear any particular change like that in the original.
The reason for that change is that the top octave in the first 4 bars is the harpsichord part, which moves up to the right hand in the second 4 bars. We don't think the bass is actually in octaves in this section, but we're open to changing it if preferred.

-In bar 20, the mordent only applies to the second layer but that isn't apparent in the sheet.  One solution would be to just write it out explicitly with grace notes, kind of like in bar 22.  Maybe there is some other solution.
Before adding the second note in the first layer it was clear by the positioning, but now I agree that it's too ambiguous. Fixed, including in the second ending for consistency.

-I feel like bar 25 should look the same as bar 45, or maybe you could have an extra low D in bar 45 on beat 1 to differentiate them.  At any rate, it still seems like there's a distinct hit on beat 1 in bar 25.
Sound good, fixed.

-Generally in bars 26-45/46-64 I think the bass needs to be bigger (and lower) to really get across this bombastic sort of style.  I'd suggest making the bass into octaves, and having the LH move off of the chords when it moves outside of beat 1 (since I think a movement in the bass is more important than a restatement of a chord already played).  Maybe something like this?
Spoiler
[close]
-I feel like the bass goes back up to a Bb in bar 33/53.  It also moves down to a F on beat 3 in the same bar.
-Similarly in bar 40/60, the bass plays an F on beat 3.
-Great suggestion, it sounds a lot more grandiose this way.
-Oh yeah, the bass does go back to a Bb there. The accordion stays on the F, however, which is what we heard, so did a 5th for this bar instead of an octave.
-Right again, and in listening to this measure again we're pretty sure the bass also plays an A on beat 1 instead of an F (but the accordion still plays an F) so I also changed that.

I hope that helps!
That does, thanks from both of us!!

Libera

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2022, 01:29:35 PM »

Generally the changes look great!  A couple of things:

-Those harmony notes are hard to pick out, but I think we got them?

I think they really are just sixths, so the Bb in bar 17 should be an An.

This part has both of us pretty stumped, but we went over it again it and definitely noticed some different notes so hopefully it's closer at least?

Yeah this part is pretty hard to hear.  I'm not 100% on this, but this is roughly the moving harmony that I can hear:
Spoiler
[close]
Obviously don't write that in as it would be pretty awkward to play.  One thing you could do is combine the top part of that with the low bass for something like this:
Spoiler
[close]
Be aware that the engraving in that picture is pretty fiddly, with a lot of edits.  That's not the only way to write it out, but it's a suggestion.

The only other suggestion I have is that maybe 26 etc. could do with a different direction?  It's not really very malevolent anymore.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2022, 04:58:27 AM »

I think they really are just sixths, so the Bb in bar 17 should be an An.
Fixed.

Yeah this part is pretty hard to hear.  I'm not 100% on this, but this is roughly the moving harmony that I can hear:
Spoiler
[close]
Obviously don't write that in as it would be pretty awkward to play.  One thing you could do is combine the top part of that with the low bass for something like this:
Spoiler
[close]
Be aware that the engraving in that picture is pretty fiddly, with a lot of edits.  That's not the only way to write it out, but it's a suggestion.
Ok, I see what's going on in that section now. We're fine with that suggestion so going with that.

The only other suggestion I have is that maybe 26 etc. could do with a different direction?  It's not really very malevolent anymore.
Yeah we discussed it and think malevolent mostly suits the intro, so it's been changed to "playful" at measure 15.

Also, the first page was looking pretty cramped so I moved one system to the next page.

Thanks again for the help!

Libera

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2022, 08:15:06 PM »

You might want to offset the eighth note on beat 3 of bar 7 to make that a little clear, like in my picture.

Also, it'd be a pain but it might be worth fixing the repeats so that the midi plays back correctly.

Yeah we discussed it and think malevolent mostly suits the intro, so it's been changed to "playful" at measure 15.

I guess I was more thinking 26, but this works as well.

Anyway, that's all small so I'll leave an approval to keep things moving.  Nice work.

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2022, 11:46:13 PM »

Looks pretty good, just a few things I have to say:
  • Maybe put staccatos in the melody on beat 2.5 of m26/28/34/36.
  • Have you considering moving the bottom system of page 1 to the top of page 2 for easier readability with the repeats? You have extra space on page 3 to move things over.

Code_Name_Geek

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2022, 05:36:13 AM »

You might want to offset the eighth note on beat 3 of bar 7 to make that a little clear, like in my picture.
Got it.

Also, it'd be a pain but it might be worth fixing the repeats so that the midi plays back correctly.
I couldn't figure out how to do that at first, but I think I got it.

  • Maybe put staccatos in the melody on beat 2.5 of m26/28/34/36.
Great suggestion, added.

  • Have you considering moving the bottom system of page 1 to the top of page 2 for easier readability with the repeats? You have extra space on page 3 to move things over.
Also done, I think the 3 systems looks a little odd but it's better playability-wise so sure.

Thanks!

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Re: Code_Name_Geek & Samusthedude's Halloween Sheet
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2022, 04:45:41 PM »

Everything looks good, accepted
 

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