[GBA] Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow - "Phantom Palace (Inner Quarters)" (Replacement) by Atcero

Started by Zeta, November 06, 2022, 06:59:24 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Castlevania
Game: Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Phantom Palace (Inner Quarters)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Atcero


Replacement Information:

Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

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Atcero

Apparently, the actual name is "Phantom Palace" which I did not know until confirming the name. tmyk
For clarity however in the sheet, i have done "Phantom Palace (Inner Quarters)" but this can be changed of course, I just thought for clarity since most places online do call it Inner Quarters itd be best to have the area name.

Some other notes, I was not sure on how to notate measures 10, 11, 13, 14 with the colliding layers so wasnt sure if what I had is fine or if there is a proper way to do it.
I moved a lot of the notes in the 8th arpeggios up or down in the b(ish) section of the song.
Not sure on that DC cause its a little weird with placement with that high Fn
Not sure if I should space out measures more or less cause I dont like having that system being alone on the last page.

Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Bloop

Quote from: Atcero on November 06, 2022, 07:03:16 PMApparently, the actual name is "Phantom Palace" which I did not know until confirming the name. tmyk
For clarity however in the sheet, i have done "Phantom Palace (Inner Quarters)" but this can be changed of course, I just thought for clarity since most places online do call it Inner Quarters itd be best to have the area name.
There's an English Sound Mode tracklist as well on vgmdb which has the title Inner Quarters instead, so I suppose both could be equally correct. Since you used Demon Castle Study instead of Study for your previous replacement, I think it's best to use Phantom Palace as the main title either way, but I'm personally alright with including the other name if it's more known like that and since it's very different. Lmk if you prefer keeping the alternate title between brackets or site-consistency without ^^

Quote from: Atcero on November 06, 2022, 07:03:16 PMSome other notes, I was not sure on how to notate measures 10, 11, 13, 14 with the colliding layers so wasnt sure if what I had is fine or if there is a proper way to do it.
I moved a lot of the notes in the 8th arpeggios up or down in the b(ish) section of the song.
Not sure on that DC cause its a little weird with placement with that high Fn
These are all fine ^^ The D.C. could even go slightly up since it feels a bit close to the staff.
About the 8th note arpeggios, you could even decide to make them all smaller noteheads to make them look optional: they're tricky to play, but far from impossible. A less experienced pianist might appreciate just playing the other parts.

Quote from: Atcero on November 06, 2022, 07:03:16 PMNot sure if I should space out measures more or less cause I dont like having that system being alone on the last page.
Spacing them less or trying to put more measures in a system will probably look very cramped, so it's maybe best to just fully use the 3 pages and do a 4-4-3 staff distribution, as well as maybe 3-3-3 measures in the last 3 staves (instead of 4-3-2).

Actual feedback:
-The performance note is currently out of the margins, it's probably best to put them between the title and tempo mark
-Will the tempo mark Yokoso make sense to someone who's played the game? Me no speak japanese :p
-m1-8 and 17-24: The middle note of the R.H. chords on beat 1 are part of the 8th note arpeggio line, so it's probably best to include them in that layer too (also making them optional in case you make the 8ths smaller)
-m8 and 24: It might look better to change the Bb's into A#'s here, as they seem to lead back to Bn in the next bar. It's kinda the same in m4, but this chord is more recognizable as a C7 (or C9) chord with the Bb.
-m9: Even though the R.H. 8th's get in the way, it's probably better to write the B in beat 1 in the second layer as a half note, so it's clearer this note is part of the melody.
-m11: The voice leading would suggest the Db's here are correct, but since the chord here is A major, it's better to write these Db's as C#'s and add a courtesy natural a few C's in the next bar (the first one in the L.H., possible also the first one in the R.H.)
-m14: Is there a reason you decided to lower the B in beat 4.5, but not others that are equally far away from the melody in this section (like m10 and 11)? I assumed you wanted to use a pedal to hold some of these notes, but if you definitely don't want a pedal, there will be some other places where the R.H. 8ths need some octave jumping
-m25: The modulation to Gm should already start in this measure, instead of m29. Make sure the D#'s in m28 will be written as Eb's too.
-m28: The L.H. here should be the same as m26
-Maybe you could add cautionary accidentals in a couple of Eb's in m28 and 32?
-m29: Is there a particular reason the G in beat 2 is a dotted quarter instead of a half note?
-m35-36: The G in the 8th note layer on beat 1 should be an F
-m37-41: This last section should either be written in F#m (3 sharps), or use sharps and naturals as if it was in F#m. Depending on the two I'll give additional feedback on the correct enharmonic spelling :p The chords are F#m, D, D#ΓΈ (d#, f#, a, c#) and C#7 (two bars)
-m40: I'm letting most of the 10th intervals slide in this piece, but this Db to Fn (which will be C# to E#) in beat 2 in the L.H. is probably either hard to play for the big handed or absolutely impossible for the medium to small handed, so this will either be a rolled dyad, or the lower Db (C#) will have to move up an octave
-m41: The whole note F (which will be E#) should be an octave up. It might be better though to move the 8th note layer down an octave and continue the 8va line for this bar too

Atcero

Got that all updated, thank you!

QuoteI think it's best to use Phantom Palace as the main title either way, but I'm personally alright with including the other name if it's more known like that and since it's very different. Lmk if you prefer keeping the alternate title between brackets or site-consistency without ^^
Honestly I am fine either way. I think as long as we have both names in any format it works.

Quote-Will the tempo mark Yokoso make sense to someone who's played the game? Me no speak japanese :p
For peeps who've played it, when you walk into this area you are greeted by a maid who says this and immediately tries to fight you :jaja:
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Bloop

Quote from: Atcero on December 28, 2022, 09:46:32 AMHonestly I am fine either way. I think as long as we have both names in any format it works.
Then I'll go for your current one ^^

Quote from: Atcero on December 28, 2022, 09:46:32 AMFor peeps who've played it, when you walk into this area you are greeted by a maid who says this and immediately tries to fight you :jaja:
Ah I see, that makes sense. It doesn't really tell the player much about how to play the piece in itself, though I'm personally not that bothered by joke tempo marks :p

-m17-24: In all of these measures, the top not of the chord in beat 1 should be in the lower layer, since it's part of the string line. I think most of the middle notes should be E as well, but if you wanna keep the chords as is for triad-continuity, that works too.
-m28: Maybe you can add a courtesy flat on the L.H. Eb here too?
-m36: There should be a double barline before the key change at the end of this bar.
-m37: The F# on beat 1 in the R.H. should be moved to the left, so it's on the same vertical position as the other notes.

Also, there was this suggestion for the system and measure distribution:
Quote from: Bloop on December 27, 2022, 06:31:36 AMSpacing them less or trying to put more measures in a system will probably look very cramped, so it's maybe best to just fully use the 3 pages and do a 4-4-3 staff distribution, as well as maybe 3-3-3 measures in the last 3 staves (instead of 4-3-2).

Atcero

Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Bloop

Nice! You could lower the systems on page 2 a bit, since there's a lot of white space below and not that much above, but either way I'll approve!
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Libera

The notes look good to me, all of my points are just about presentation and other miscellaneous aspects.

-You could fit this all on one page if you want.  It would get rid all of the empty space in the sheet, of which there is quite a lot at the moment.
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-You should put the performance note at the bottom of the sheet rather than above the tempo marking.  You can put an asterisk in the first bar pointing to it if you want.  The note should also probably read 'lightly' rather than light (adverb vs. noun).
-I couldn't find a reference for this quickly, but I think the D.C. should be placed above the 8va.
-I don't really think we should have a tempo direction in Japanese.  Also, even if you know what it means it doesn't tell you anything about how to play the piece.
-I'd highly recommend using three bars per system in the last three systems rather than 4-3-2.  It looks a lot more balanced, even if the key change does move off of the system break.
-The 'arrangement' by and 'composition by' are a little tight together.
-The second layer rests in bar 28 could be put at the usual height.
-There is a double p dynamic in bar 17 for some reason.
-Erroneous double flat in bar 35.

You can also see some of these changes in the picture above.  Let me know if you have any questions about anything.

Atcero

Updated with what we talked about in the discord and the pages, thank you!

I would again like to keep the tempo marking as its rare to have a more joke marking for CV, and I anticipate (as with most of the Igavania sheets) that only fans of the game will really be playing them.
Quote from: Dudeman"When Atcero and Dudeman are busy whooping Maelstrom's ass, Alfonzo mans the Spirit Train."

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Zeta