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[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Mushihimesama
Console: Arcade
Title: Requiem of the Sky
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Libera

[Libera]

[Kricketune54]

This track is cool, Metroid Prime-esque in some ways, though I see this is a "manic shooter", as Wikipedia calls it. Seems like a tough boss fight


Formatting
- You could widen the first system a bit so the cresc. isn't so close in m3
   - the cresc. could also be lined up to center a bit more with the piano this way as well, but both somewhat insignificant things
- m4, m11 and m24 RH upper layer quarter rests could go a little lower.
   - I see that they could be this way to have a consistent height with m26 and thus all upper layer rests, but m26's RH upper layer rests could also go a little lower as well.
- m5 another small visual thing the rit. and the dim. are ever so slightly out of alignment from eachother. Either move the rit. to the right some or the dim. to the left.
- are the double lines in m8 and m18 there to illustrate key changes?
- m25 the dim. could go a bit to the left under the note head to be more consistently aligned with other expressive text in this arrangement (ex. m13-14).

Notes
- m4 LH I think there's an Ab as opposed to a G. Also in this measure, I hear the lower RH layer make a movement on beat 3, where the C and Eb go up to D and F on beat 3, meaning these notes are half notes. I guess you could make a third layer in the RH?
- m5 RH the F sounds like it is only held first two beats so it could go in the 2nd layer, but it's probably fine to keep as is tbh
- m8 LH I hear a G in this cluster
- m12 LH I do not hear an Eb, I think there's a G instead, like in m13
- m14 RH lower layer beat 4 I hear a D instead of Eb
- m15-16 LH there is an Ab next to the upper Bb in this chord. There's also a C technically above the LH higher Bb as well but I don't think it works out on piano given current/proposed notes, and it doesn't sound great up an octave in the RH. Currently these chords are a little brighter in texture than they could be by adding the Ab.

- m18 I hear the F# above the RH D as opposed to below, but I suppose this is a good arrangement decision considering the ascending portion of the RH
- m18-19 The held notes technically terminate at beat 4 as a dotted half note rather than continue through as whole note, so you could reflect that difference between these measures and subsequent ones
- m19 LH There's an A above the D here
- m20 LH I hear an E above the A as well
- m21 LH there's a G up an octave from what's present as well creating a little dissonance with the F#
- m22 LH there's another B that would be next to the A, but I think this is one worth omitting unless you move the low A currently in the RH to the left.
- m24 RH the F# doesn't seem to fit in this E minor chord. I think I hear a D in this though so could replace the F# with it
- m25 LH I hear an A that's held until the triplets in m26. Maybe put m25's B in layer 2, or just have the A in m25 and restrike in m26, but as a part of layer 1.
- m29 I hear a second G that is up next to the RH A. Perhaps put the currently present G down in the LH.

[Libera]

Formatting
- You could widen the first system a bit so the cresc. isn't so close in m3
   - the cresc. could also be lined up to center a bit more with the piano this way as well, but both somewhat insignificant things

I fiddled with the hairpin in the beginning a little.  I don't want to widen the staves for that; it's unnecessary.  This also wasn't really that much of a deal anyway and looked fine. 

- m4, m11 and m24 RH upper layer quarter rests could go a little lower.
   - I see that they could be this way to have a consistent height with m26 and thus all upper layer rests, but m26's RH upper layer rests could also go a little lower as well.

I didn't change the rests because I want to keep them consistent (you couldn't really lower most of them by that much anyway, and my general feeling is that unless you can place it in the usual position there's not much to gain from moving it that much and you might as well keep it out of the way and consistent).

- are the double lines in m8 and m18 there to illustrate key changes?

Not really.  The piece is clearly split into three sections in terms of melody/texture/harmony and I chose to split those sections up with double barlines.

- m5 another small visual thing the rit. and the dim. are ever so slightly out of alignment from eachother. Either move the rit. to the right some or the dim. to the left.
- m25 the dim. could go a bit to the left under the note head to be more consistently aligned with other expressive text in this arrangement (ex. m13-14).

Sure I can adjust those, but it really doesn't matter that much.

Notes
- m4 LH I think there's an Ab as opposed to a G. Also in this measure, I hear the lower RH layer make a movement on beat 3, where the C and Eb go up to D and F on beat 3, meaning these notes are half notes. I guess you could make a third layer in the RH? I don't think a third layer is necessary here.  Not sure about the D, but I can add in an F on beat 3 under the RH.  I can add in an Ab as well, but I'm pretty sure there's a G in there as well.
- m5 RH the F sounds like it is only held first two beats so it could go in the 2nd layer, but it's probably fine to keep as is tbh I'm not being very careful with note lengths in this arrangement because I think you get a bigger sound by just pedalling everything together which reflects the original better.
- m8 LH I hear a G in this cluster Sure.
- m12 LH I do not hear an Eb, I think there's a G instead, like in m13 I can add the G in as well, but I'm confident on the Eb.  Remember, not everything has to be in the correct octave, it's just about spreading it across the hands effectively.
- m14 RH lower layer beat 4 I hear a D instead of Eb Not convinced on this.
- m15-16 LH there is an Ab next to the upper Bb in this chord. There's also a C technically above the LH higher Bb as well but I don't think it works out on piano given current/proposed notes, and it doesn't sound great up an octave in the RH. Currently these chords are a little brighter in texture than they could be by adding the Ab.Ok yeah I've rewritten this now, thanks.  My bad.

After seeing those last two bars I went back and rewrote everything after 18, so some subset of your comments no longer apply.  I'll go through them all anyway, though.

- m18 I hear the F# above the RH D as opposed to below, but I suppose this is a good arrangement decision considering the ascending portion of the RH I think originally I inverted this down to keep it from being too far above the melody notes, but I think it makes more sense to present this in the correct voicing, and is also more consistent with bar 22.
- m18-19 The held notes technically terminate at beat 4 as a dotted half note rather than continue through as whole note, so you could reflect that difference between these measures and subsequent ones See above about note lengths.
- m19 LH There's an A above the D here Fixed in my edits.
- m20 LH I hear an E above the A as well I don't think that's necessary and would make that bar unbalanced compared to those around it.
- m21 LH there's a G up an octave from what's present as well creating a little dissonance with the F# That's a really risky thing to do when the melody immediately descends by a minor 2nd.  It can really sound confusing to listen to that way and since we have the F# anyway, I don't think it's worth it.
- m22 LH there's another B that would be next to the A, but I think this is one worth omitting unless you move the low A currently in the RH to the left. Fixed in my edits.
- m24 RH the F# doesn't seem to fit in this E minor chord. I think I hear a D in this though so could replace the F# with it Fixed in my edits.  Although, you could use 'x note doesn't fit in y triad' to justify excluding all extensions, so I was a bit confused by what you wrote.  I mean, does the D 'fit' in an Em chord?  It fits in Em7...
- m25 LH I hear an A that's held until the triplets in m26. Maybe put m25's B in layer 2, or just have the A in m25 and restrike in m26, but as a part of layer 1. I think this is fine as is.
- m29 I hear a second G that is up next to the RH A. Perhaps put the currently present G down in the LH. I don't think we need to double the G hear and I like this open voicing quite a lot.

Phew, that sheet is denser than I remember.  I should have looked through that again before submitting it, my apologies.  Thanks for checking!

[Bloop]

-m1-3: If you want, you could move the melody down an octave like in the original. It's in the same register as the other voices, but not too difficult to bring out.
-m11: You could move the L.H. C to the R.H., so the L.H. doesn't have to stretch as much (you could even move the same C in m10 too, for some consistency)
-m21: I feel like the melody should be a quarter triplet for consistency, but it does seem to be closer to the tresillo you have now. You have my permission to write it as a quarter triplet if you feel the same way, haha.
-m28: I think the G might be the harmony line in beat 1 instead of the F, but it's hard to hear the difference. It'd make sense to have the melody harmonized in fifths

I don't think I have anything else to add, nice work! It's hard to hear specific notes in chords this dense, but I think it all sounds good.

[Libera]

-m1-3: If you want, you could move the melody down an octave like in the original. It's in the same register as the other voices, but not too difficult to bring out.

In bars 1-2 that's alright but bar 3 is a bit gruesome with the C in the middle there.  I could move some of the other voicings around to accommodate but I think I prefer just having the melody raised an octave.

-m11: You could move the L.H. C to the R.H., so the L.H. doesn't have to stretch as much (you could even move the same C in m10 too, for some consistency)
-m28: I think the G might be the harmony line in beat 1 instead of the F, but it's hard to hear the difference. It'd make sense to have the melody harmonized in fifths

Sure for both of these.  I agree it makes more sense to have the melody in fifths in 28.

-m21: I feel like the melody should be a quarter triplet for consistency, but it does seem to be closer to the tresillo you have now. You have my permission to write it as a quarter triplet if you feel the same way, haha.

Yeah for some reason I do feel like that one in particular is timed a little differently and I wanted to emphasise that I suppose (although they're all a little loose).  The inconsistency doesn't really bother me because it stands out to me in the original.

Anyway, files updated.  Thanks for checking!

[Bloop]

Alrighty, I'll approve!

[Latios212]

Looks great! Just a few comments on the voicings and we're good to go.

-m1-3: If you want, you could move the melody down an octave like in the original. It's in the same register as the other voices, but not too difficult to bring out.

In bars 1-2 that's alright but bar 3 is a bit gruesome with the C in the middle there.  I could move some of the other voicings around to accommodate but I think I prefer just having the melody raised an octave.

For what it's worth, I also think it'd be nicer lowered. It's pretty sparse so it's easy to focus on enunciating the melody with the RH while playing the chords softly with the LH, and I think the dissonance of the C there is a good thing, since the original has that clash readily apparent to the ear. Still, your choice!

- Personally, I think the Ab in m. 4 would be easier to play with the right hand as stretching to hit G-Ab with 2-1 in the LH is a bit of an awkward stretch.
- I think I hear the Bb in m. 10 either rearticulated or struck in another voice on beat 3. It might also help pad the sound of the exposed octave a bit.
- How about moving the F's in m. 15-16 down an octave to the LH (or just adding F's there) to help it sound a bit more bottom-heavy? Right now those measures sound a bit light coming after a few measures with more harmony in the left hand. You might also want to consider power chords in m. 23+ as the music climaxes.

[Libera]

For what it's worth, I also think it'd be nicer lowered. It's pretty sparse so it's easy to focus on enunciating the melody with the RH while playing the chords softly with the LH, and I think the dissonance of the C there is a good thing, since the original has that clash readily apparent to the ear. Still, your choice!

I had another play around with it on my piano and actually I think I've changed my mind.  For some reason I was struggling to get it to sound good before but it's not actually that hard.  Thank you both for the suggestion!

- Personally, I think the Ab in m. 4 would be easier to play with the right hand as stretching to hit G-Ab with 2-1 in the LH is a bit of an awkward stretch.
- I think I hear the Bb in m. 10 either rearticulated or struck in another voice on beat 3. It might also help pad the sound of the exposed octave a bit.
- How about moving the F's in m. 15-16 down an octave to the LH (or just adding F's there) to help it sound a bit more bottom-heavy? Right now those measures sound a bit light coming after a few measures with more harmony in the left hand. You might also want to consider power chords in m. 23+ as the music climaxes.

Yeah all this is good as well and I've made the corresponding edits.  Thanks again!

Files updated!

[Latios212]

No problem changes look good, accepting!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot