ThatHiddenCharacter's Aquatic Update Project Sheets

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Plus, there's also the context of the chord it's leading into. It makes more sense for C# to lead to A than Db to lead to A.

I'm just gonna quote this since I think I accidentally made this edit after you posted.

[Kricketune54]

Sorry for the wait here - but I see your point. Only stuff I have left to say is just some spacing looks a little off, perhaps widen pg 2 system distance a little from the top title.

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I was a little hung up on LH m7-8 because I like having more chord notes represented from the original if possible, but I don't think there's an effective way to do it here.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Just a quick update on my absence. I basically have had to (and still am) setting my computer back up from scratch because it had a faulty hard drive that finally died. All of my important files and such are on external drives, but it takes forever to reinstall every program. I can't say how soon I can get to this or if I even can reinstall Finale, so if leaving this here is too much of a hassle, feel free to delete this submission. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, I would've said something sooner if the stress hadn't made me forget about this.

[Radiak488417]

Sorry for the wait! Great pick, one of my favorites from Color Splash.

-m4/52 LH: I'm hearing the two bass notes an octave lower than you have them.
-m5-m12 LH: I really like the idea of including the chords on the offbeats, but it seems like a shame to only do it for the first few measures. How would you feel about raising the bass an octave in m7-8 etc. and adding some more offbeat chords there? To me it sounds a bit empty without them. Here's what that could look like:

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I inverted the chords in m7/8/11 so that they would be easier to reach, and put the beat 1 bass note up an octave in m12. Also heard the m5-6/m9-10 chords a bit differently so I changed those as well. Let me know what you think of all this!
-m15 RH: The Bb on beat 2.33 sounds like it should be down an octave.
-m16 RH: Hearing an additional F on beat 1.33, you could also leave out the low Bb to avoid the repeated note. Beat 2.33 sounds like Ab-C-Eb bottom to top.
-m18 RH layer 2: Hearing the beat 2 chord as G-Bb-C-E bottom to top, feel free to leave out the low G since the melody has it already and it's a bit of a stretch.
-m19 RH layer 2: Hearing an Ab-Bb-Eb triad on beat 1, the Ab is probably fine to leave out though. The Ab on beat 2 sounds like a Bb to me instead.
-m20 RH: Not hearing the Ab on beat 1, but I do hear an Eb and F, and an additional Bb on beat 2. You could put the lower harmonies into layer 2 here for consistency as well.
-m21 RH: This should all be up an octave, including beat 1 of m22.
-m27 RH: I hear Cs under both chords.
-m28 RH beat 1: Hearing this as A-C-F bottom to top.
-m31-32 RH: There's a descending line that goes A, G, F starting on beat 2 of m31 that you could include; in m32 you could move it into the LH since it gets pretty low.
-m33-40 RH: Hearing some additional harmonies here:

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I'm going to echo Kricketune's request that you use flats for m36, reading an E# in the key of F is unnecessarily confusing. The move from Cb to A in the bass is indeed weird, but so is Eb to C#, which is what you currently have in m35-36. This is just kinda what happens when you do enough downwards whole tone movement; you'll eventually need to cross over from flats to sharps/naturals to maintain readability, which unfortunately means using a diminished third somewhere. The trick is where to put that diminished third. When in doubt, use the option that creates the fewest accidentals; Db major has one less accidental in this key than C# major so it's preferable to read here.
-m37 LH: Not sure how necessary the gliss is to include, but up to you.
-m40 LH: I don't think a discrete 16th note really captures the bass slide here, a grace note would make more sense to me.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Sorry for the wait! Great pick, one of my favorites from Color Splash.

I really do appreciate the feedback, and I will save it for whenever I can get back to doing arranging, but I'm afraid you may have missed my previous message before your post. I can't reinstall Finale, and I'd rather not go back to using Notepad, so I'm waiting until the switch over to Musescore to start arranging again. I know that's awhile off, though, so please feel free to delete this submission in the meantime. I don't want to waste anyone's time expecting something to get done when I no longer have the tools to do it. I am really sorry for the inconvenience.

[Latios212]

I'll stash this away for later then. Looking forward to bringing this back once our support for MuseScore sheets is ready!