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Jokes

Started by SlowPokemon, November 30, 2010, 04:26:33 AM

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JDMEK5

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26


InsigTurtle

How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three: one to change the lightbulb, and two to make a more efficient design.


How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to change it, and the other to criticize every action the other one does.

Pit0010

What do you call a piano that fell down a mine?

A minor.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on January 15, 2015, 07:20:41 PM
AUSSI
"Sorry to keep you waiting!'
~Pit, Kid Icarus Uprising ♥

Me youtube channel!: http://www.youtube.com/user/Pit0030

JDMEK5

Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?
Spoiler
They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.
[close]
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Jub3r7

Sorry for bump, but

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punchline.
It's dangerous to go alone, take me with you! [JUB has joined the party.]

mikey

unmotivated

MaestroUGC

That's what we call an "anti-joke".
Try to do everything; you're bound to succeed with at least one.

K-NiGhT

Here's a good joke

My life
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on April 28, 2015, 06:48:06 PM
what are you doing stop making nsm a better place by spreading happiness

MaestroUGC

A-ha!

The jokes is that your "life" isn't mine.
Try to do everything; you're bound to succeed with at least one.

BlackDragonSlayer

Two men stand in long line for bread. One man die from hunger and cold. Man behind him take his place.

Is funny because no potato.
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

Jub3r7

No potato is not funny. Potato is life. When we are going to harvest, in your mind and in your heart, you feel you are going to export the potatoes and you are not going to see them anymore.
That hurts.
It's dangerous to go alone, take me with you! [JUB has joined the party.]

braix

Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

SuperFireKirby

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

NONE.

Quote from: Mashi on March 26, 2013, 05:54:37 PMAfter viewing both FMA:Brotherhood and Naruto Shippuden, it would be frivolous to even consider watching an anime as unbearably mediocre as Melancholy. NARUTOxHINATA 4 LYFE!!!

mikey

Quote from: SuperFireKirby on December 10, 2014, 10:52:00 PMHow many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

ONE ROTTEN ONE.
fixed
unmotivated