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Started by SlowPokemon, November 30, 2010, 04:26:33 AM

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SpartanChief17

Because today is Easter:

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law, were all going on vacation in Israel.  The mother-in-law randomly dies.  The man has to take her to an undertaker.  The undertaker says "You have two options: I can ship her back to be buried in the US for $5,000, or I can have her buried here in Israel for $150.  What do you think?"

The man thinks for a moment, then says "I'd like her shipped back to the US."

The undertaker is surprised, and asks "but why? You could bury her here for only $150!"

The man replies "I know. But many years ago, a man was buried in Israel.  Three days later, he rose from the dead. I'm not taking that chance!"
Spoiler
I am addicted to this song:
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ThatHiddenCharacter

I wonder how many people aren't going to get the joke. It took 10 seconds before it hit me.
Discord server (We have continental breakfast): https://discord.gg/ZuFJBF4

Jointers Discord server (We have continental music):
https://discord.gg/ehHWckpTzn

Ko-fi page (I have continental continents):
https://ko-fi.com/thathiddencharacter

mikey

That's pretty good
Ninjad by thc doing thc things
unmotivated

cashwarrior1

Quote from: SpartanChief17 on April 16, 2017, 06:37:02 PMThe man has to take her to an undertaker.
I thought that read, "The man has to take her underwear." and I was very confused.

E. Gadd Industries

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on April 16, 2017, 06:39:35 PMThat's pretty good
Ninjad by thc doing thc things
#justthcthings
"Everyone is crazy but me"
-The Sign Painter


The entrance to my lab is hidden... somewhere...
Spoiler

[/spoiler
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AmpharosAndy

Do you guys want to see the newest Star Wars spoiler?

Spoiler
Star Wars
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innit

LeviR.star

A woman walks into a veterinarian's office with a limp duck. She says to him, "Doctor, my duck hasn't moved in days. Could you figure out what's wrong with him?" The vet pulls out his stethoscope and holds it to the duck's heart, and says to the woman, "I am afraid your duck is dead, ma'am."

"How can you be so sure?!" she protested, welling up with tears. "Can you at least check to see that he's not comatose??" Hesitant at first, the vet agrees.

First, he comes into the room with a Yellow Labrador Retriever. The dog jumps up onto the counter, sniffs various parts of the duck, and whines. The vet pats the dog on the head and heads out the door with him.

He then comes into the room with a Tabby. The cat jumps up onto the counter, rubs her cheek on the duck's feathers, and meows. The vet pats the cat on the head and heads on the door with her.

Finally, the vet returns, tells the woman her duck is dead, and hands her a bill. The total: $150.00. Flabbergasted, the woman cries out, "150 dollars? Just to tell me that my duck is dead?"

The vet replies, "Well, if you just took my word for it the first time, the total would have been 20 dollars. But after the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, the total is now 150 dollars."
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Dude


Pianist Da Sootopolis

@Levi your joke is more of an honest reflection on the US healthcare system tbh
what is shitpost

blueflower999

Quote from: LeviR.star on October 20, 2017, 08:03:18 AMA woman walks into a veterinarian's office with a limp duck.
I misread this sentence
Bulbear! Blueflower999

E. Gadd Industries

Same XD why would a woman walk into a vegetarian's office with a limp duck?
"Everyone is crazy but me"
-The Sign Painter


The entrance to my lab is hidden... somewhere...
Spoiler

[/spoiler
[close]

mastersuperfan

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Dude

Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on October 20, 2017, 03:37:39 PMSame XD why would a woman walk into a vegetarian's office with a limp duck?
pure boy

Splatoon Inkling

2 guys are going to the bar the 1st guys bumps his head on it and the other guy ducks! ;D

Splatoon Inkling

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?







Where's my tractor?   ;D