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Jokes

Started by SlowPokemon, November 30, 2010, 04:26:33 AM

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FireArrow

Quote from: Jub3r7 on July 31, 2018, 06:56:15 PMThe furry community is also a good place to find subs

I feel youre obligated to attend funeral since you're responsible for my death.
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Splatoon Inkling

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?







Because he didn't have the guts to do it!

BlackDragonSlayer

And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

Splatoon Inkling

Groan.... actually I am a star wars fan.

mikey

That Reddit immediately devolved into people quoting gamegrumps which doesn't do much for my general opinion of the star wars fanbase
unmotivated

BlackDragonSlayer

are you just saying you don't like the fanbase

or are you implying you're too good for star wars
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

SlowPokemon

Two things can be true
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

mikey

#487
I'm saying I don't like gamegrumps

Edit: I'd be remiss to ignore slows one-liner
Plus 1 to slow
unmotivated

Splatoon Inkling

#488
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were Prime mates.





Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?

Bobbythekid21

A pastor was walking around a neighborhood knocking on peoples doors and handing out church cards.
He can to this one house and knocked. No one answered...
He knocked again. No one answered...
The pastor took out a church card and wrote:
Quote from: CardRevelation 3:20
Which, in the Bible, reads:
Quote from: BibleBehold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
So he slipped it in the crack between the door and the doorframe and left.

The next Sunday the pastor was counting the offerings and saw the same card he had put in that mans door.
This was written on the back:
Quote from: CardGenesis 3:10
Which, in the Bible, reads:
Quote from: MeI dare you to go look up Genesis 3:10 yourself.
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

BlackDragonSlayer

I chuckled a bit.
And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

Fakemon Dex
NSM Sprite Thread
Compositions
Story Thread
The Dread Somber

Bobbythekid21

My boss told this in church Sunday. He also told us to look up the punchline ourselves. It was funny watching people try to keep quiet and not laugh out loud as they looked it up during church.
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Splatoon Inkling

#492
That's actually pretty funny! Wait, you have a boss?

Bobbythekid21

Quote from: Splatoon Inkling on February 26, 2019, 04:30:31 PMThat's actually pretty funny! Wait, you have a boss?
Yes, he's an entrepreneur/mechanic.
333,331 is a prime number.
Spoiler
Quote from: Bobbythekid21 on February 24, 2019, 01:03:24 PM
Well, I'll just stick around for now and be helpful.
I'm gonna hold myself to it by constantly reminding myself of it.
[close]

Splatoon Inkling

#494
Tonight's sermon - "What is hell?"; Come early and listen to our choir practice.