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Author Topic: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends  (Read 11251 times)

SuperFireKirby

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The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« on: September 26, 2011, 02:12:08 AM »

My revision of the Bible. Now, before we get into Jesus and Friends, we need some backround info. So we must travel back in time to the MUCH LESS IMPORTANT part of the Bible known as the Old Testament.

Genisis Pt.1:

     Now in the beginning it was dark. Then God was like,"Now where did I leave my car keys again?" So he flipped on the light switch and found a ball of dirt. So he was all like,"This is pretty sweet." So he went and washed it off but kept some water on it with his awesome God powers. Then he got out his arts & crafts kit and decorated it with little foam trees and glitter. Then he made a guy out of popsicle sticks and then decided the little stickman needed a bro so he snapped him in half and made a second guy. Then God thought, WAIT I SHOULD MAKE HIM A CHICK. So he snapped off the second little stickman's little stickman. Then he found his car keys and went to the bar to pick up chicks with his newly appointed wingman, Michael. God scored 3 hot Pharma-chicks that night. It was LEGEN - wait for it - DARY.

     Now the little stick bro and little stick chick were left alone and all naked. And then a snake came out a bush and told stick chick "Girl, this bro you're hangin out with is a total tool. Did you see him playing that acoustic guitar? If you eat the ham of knowledge from the hambush over you'll turn into a BAZZING! PERFECT TEN, make that 2 perfect tens IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN and you'll be able to get any guy you want!"

     Now stick chick thought about this, but then was all  "lolkay". So she ate the ham and then gave some to stick bro. Then they gots smarter and become smart enough to figure out the snake was a total dick. God came back over after a VERY active night, if you know what I mean. Then he saw the stick people had EATEN HIS HAM. AND GOD SAYETH TO THE STICK PEOPLES "I'M PISSED." So he whispered into their ears, "Pssssssssss, you guys are naked."

     So the stick peoples were all "OHSHIT," and covered themselves with some leaves. Now because God knew The Bro Code back and forth he could not find Stick Bro at fault because of Bro Code Article #2: "A Bro is allowed to do something stupid as long as his fellow bros are doing it." So he only decided to punish Stick Chick and made her less smart, less physically fit, less good at being awesome, as well as many other things. He also made it so wimins had to poop out babies.

Pt.2 coming up soon
« Last Edit: January 04, 2013, 08:47:40 AM by SuperFireKirby »
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Mashi

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2011, 02:18:46 AM »

This is going to be my audit of Christian theology.
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MaestroUGC

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2011, 02:29:14 AM »

I...I'm not sure how I feel about this.
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SuperFireKirby

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2011, 02:36:40 AM »

Then I'll tell you how you feel. You feel it's awesome.
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Winter

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2011, 02:37:19 AM »

This could really cause some commotion on the forums.
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EFitTrainr

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2011, 02:40:08 AM »

Especcially with christian users liek piano_pika.
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MaestroUGC

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2011, 02:47:20 AM »

Then I'll tell you how you feel. You feel it's awesome.
No, not awesome...more like wrong. Just wrong. I appreciate the humor in this, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to protest this.
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DrP

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2011, 02:49:10 AM »

It IS wrong... but it IS humorous

humor > any wrongness it might have

And I am still following the HE>i path, soo.... Jesus still rocks.

I still accept the "Super Best Friends" on South Park and that Easter Special episode, too... all I can do is laugh... hahahahhahahahahahahaha
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MaestroUGC

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2011, 02:58:08 AM »

If it was written in a way that took itself more seriously, then I'd be okay with it. It seems to me like it's just setting out to mock the Bible, rather than celebrate it.
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Dude

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2011, 03:20:14 AM »

What's this then? Is it celebrating the bible or making fun of it? I'll let you decide.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
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Jub3r7

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2011, 03:21:44 AM »

If Jesus is as cool as the Bible says he is, he'll find this funny as well.

SO maaaybe I think it's funny too.
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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2011, 03:24:14 AM »

SFK: I was thinking, maybe you should just keep it to yourself for now and develop your book, then sell it when Christianity dies later.
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MaestroUGC

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2011, 03:27:10 AM »

If you write a book then I'll buy it.
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SlowPokemon

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2011, 03:27:58 AM »

I think the humor is fantastically written and such, but in such a way that I don't know whether to laugh or feel offended. I mean, it's like mocking 9/11. Sometimes funny...never really right. Although I did once read this hilarious book that satirized the bible, having shows on TV like Teenage Jesus (with great scenes like his friends encouraging him to turn the punch at a school dance to wine, or him yelling at Joseph "You're not even my real father!").

Overall, I think I'm going to go on the route that this is more funny than it is offensive; still, I think you could satirize something a bit less controversial, or else be very careful what you poke fun at.
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SlowPokemon

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Re: The Adventures of Jesus And Friends
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2011, 03:30:40 AM »

Sorry for double post.

Especcially with christian users liek piano_pika.

Did you really just say that.
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