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Author Topic: Relationships  (Read 203709 times)

Nebbles

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #45 on: February 10, 2012, 03:01:40 AM »

Wow. That post deserves an award.
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Nakah

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #46 on: February 10, 2012, 03:06:53 AM »

Re-post for new page:

Sorry, but it sounds like you don't know what love is, and I think I might have an idea why that might be. Once upon a time there was a girl on my baseball team when we were in 2nd grade. I instantly fell for her ways, looks, mannerisms; everything. Yet, we went to different schools so once baseball season ended, so did contact.

Then came middle school, when both schools merged when entering 6th grade. Upon the summer of 7th grade year, I was on a camping trip with family and friends, and this girl happened to be going with one of the families that were camping with us(as in we all would rent out the same few campsites next to each other). So typical middle school magic went down and we started dating. Then, about a week later, typical Middle-School Girl Syndrome(oh yes) kicked in, and she broke it off for the next guy-thing in line. You can only imagine my frustration at her dim-wittedness, and lack of consideration, "but oh, she's young, so maybe youth is the reason to excuse her" I thought. So let's get to high school.

The rest of this story is a little complicated, but essentially, we had on and off 'things' throughout the next few years, but the end result was always the same: she'd one day suddenly be interested in another guy(typically older) and would act as if there had never been anything between us.

SO senior year comes around, and she's already dating one guy who's she had been with for over a year, but in the beginning of the year we start to become really close. Closer than ever, and we sort of develop this deep bond/connection thing. I couldn't ever have been more sure of the feeling of "love" until now. There was absolutely no way that things could go downhill from here, I thought, based off of words and special moments that we had shared. I'm sure you can tell where this is going, and long story short, the whole thing crashed and burned; her lying and sneaking around caused her relationship to crash(even though she was aware of it, and somewhat planned for it to turn out that way(hence the reason for me in the first place), and she at the same time spun more lies and manipulation towards me to help her get through the breakup phase. Once she was out of that phase and realized she was now single and "free," she absolved from the situation entirely, leaving an ice cold shoulder for me, acting as though she never talked to me and nothing had ever happened to begin with. That's when I learned she had channeled her flirtyness and secrecy to a new guy. And the cycle continued(for him, anyways).

In the end, some girls are just SNAKES. If she has no consideration for your feelings now, don't stick around for her, because chances are she will always leave you out in the dust for whatever captures her greater interest at the time. Even if you don't think you could live without her and are sure that you can accept her for her flaws and shortcoming no matter what etc, if she doesn't treat you well in the end, then is that something you really want? You should focus on a girl that you can build a respectable trust with, with some sort of reliability. At least that's what I realized I wanted after that whole situation, and it caused me to re-evaluate myself and my entire perception of love, and I came to great epiphanies about my self towards the end of the year, but at the price of great pain.

So don't go all out for just one girl because you think it's real love. Find someone who will always meet you half way in the end. There's greater strength in trust than passion.
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #47 on: February 10, 2012, 03:09:38 AM »

Sorry, but it sounds like you don't know what love is, and I think I might have an idea why that might be. Once upon a time there was a girl on my baseball team when we were in 2nd grade. I instantly fell for her ways, looks, mannerisms; everything. Yet, we went to different schools so once baseball season ended, so did contact.

Then came middle school, when both schools merged when entering 6th grade. Upon the summer of 7th grade year, I was on a camping trip with family and friends, and this girl happened to be going with one of the families that were camping with us(as in we all would rent out the same few campsites next to each other). So typical middle school magic went down and we started dating. Then, about a week later, typical Middle-School Girl Syndrome(oh yes) kicked in, and she broke it off for the next guy-thing in line. You can only imagine my frustration at her dim-wittedness, and lack of consideration, "but oh, she's young, so maybe youth is the reason to excuse her" I thought. So let's get to high school.

The rest of this story is a little complicated, but essentially, we had on and off 'things' throughout the next few years, but the end result was always the same: she'd one day suddenly be interested in another guy(typically older) and would act as if there had never been anything between us.

SO senior year comes around, and she's already dating one guy who's she had been with for over a year, but in the beginning of the year we start to become really close. Closer than ever, and we sort of develop this deep bond/connection thing. I couldn't ever have been more sure of the feeling of "love" until now. There was absolutely no way that things could go downhill from here, I thought, based off of words and special moments that we had shared. I'm sure you can tell where this is going, and long story short, the whole thing crashed and burned; her lying and sneaking around caused her relationship to crash(even though she was aware of it, and somewhat planned for it to turn out that way(hence the reason for me in the first place), and she at the same time spun more lies and manipulation towards me to help her get through the breakup phase. Once she was out of that phase and realized she was now single and "free," she absolved from the situation entirely, leaving an ice cold shoulder for me, acting as though she never talked to me and nothing had ever happened to begin with. That's when I learned she had channeled her flirtyness and secrecy to a new guy. And the cycle continued(for him, anyways).

In the end, some girls are just SNAKES. If she has no consideration for your feelings now, don't stick around for her, because chances are she will always leave you out in the dust for whatever captures her greater interest at the time. Even if you don't think you could live without her and are sure that you can accept her for her flaws and shortcoming no matter what etc, if she doesn't treat you well in the end, then is that something you really want? You should focus on a girl that you can build a respectable trust with, with some sort of reliability. At least that's what I realized I wanted after that whole situation, and it caused me to re-evaluate myself and my entire perception of love, and I came to great epiphanies about my self towards the end of the year, but at the price of great pain.

So don't go all out for just one girl because you think it's real love. Find someone who will always meet you half way in the end. There's greater strength in trust than passion.

I don't think it deserves an award :x mostly because I mean something completely different and don't really know how to explain it. I'm not still in love with her. But when I was? I definitely was. I...don't know. I'm not phrasing this right. I'm giving up. Let's move on.

Also...uhh why did you post it again? Mod, Y U NO FOLLOW SPAM RULES D:
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Nakah

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #48 on: February 10, 2012, 03:14:15 AM »

It's not spam, I had sound reason to post it again. On other forums that I frequent, it's customary to repost something if it was  of some sort of significance and fell to the bottom of the previous page. That way the content of the post wouldn't be skipped over by someone that was too lazy to look back a page.

The post was meant to address how you said she treated you, and how you felt. So I was just going off of what I saw. There's much more to my situation just as well, but that's the best I could do making it relevant to your situation.

You re-posting my quote directly under my quote is more qualified to be spam, however.
And saying "I'm not in love with her anymore, but when I was..." Makes it sound even less like love than I originally thought. If the feelings are deep enough, they stay there even if you end up hating the person in the end. Part of you still feels those deep feelings. Thus, the Blues genre was born!

But I mean you're talking about your own situation so it's a different circumstance with different conditions, etc.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2012, 03:20:21 AM by Nakah »
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #49 on: February 10, 2012, 03:33:12 AM »

Meh I had the quote in my post before you posted it again. :P I got the "a new reply has been posted!" and I saw it was the same thing.

Also you make some pretty good points, I guess.
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Jub3r7

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #50 on: February 10, 2012, 03:44:37 AM »

Falling /out/ of love is difficult.
After we broke up, I made myself stop liking the way she acted, and now I'm making excuses so I don't have to see her eyes...

She complains that she doesn't like them.
Brown seems boring to her I guess?, and also she got them from her mom, who she doesn't really like.

Her dark, hazel eyes that seem to shine in the light; I...

blaaaah. Go away. I usually walk by her Spanish class to get to AP Stat, started taking a different path cuz "It's shorter."
The path is slightly shorter, but that wasn't really the main reason.  :(
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Nakah

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #51 on: February 10, 2012, 03:46:12 AM »

Also you make some pretty good points, I guess.

Nah say what you really think. Re-reading my own posts; I'm always full of self-ridicule. I encourage the notion of speaking harsh truths, rather than retaining thoughts and feelings because you don't want to come off as mean.

Falling /out/ of love is difficult.
After we broke up, I made myself stop liking the way she acted, and now I'm making excuses so I don't have to see her eyes...

She complains that she doesn't like them.
Brown seems boring to her I guess?, and also she got them from her mom, who she doesn't really like.

Her dark, hazel eyes that seem to shine in the light; I...

blaaaah. Go away. I usually walk by her Spanish class to get to AP Stat, started taking a different path cuz "It's shorter."
The path is slightly shorter, but that wasn't really the main reason.  :(

Repression is an unhealthy thing. Repressing feelings as a sort of defense mechanism is what that sounds like. Accepting that you're really all out attracted to her is the first step to true self-healing. It's easier to carry good feelings for someone you can't have, rather than hatred. It's also easier to move on if those feelings are positive.


ITT Nakah's psychotherapy sessions.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2012, 03:53:20 AM by Nakah »
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #52 on: February 10, 2012, 03:54:23 AM »

Nah say what you really think. Re-reading my own posts; I'm always full of self-ridicule. I encourage the notion of speaking harsh truths, rather than retaining thoughts and feelings because you don't want to come off as mean.

Repression is an unhealthy thing. Repressing feelings as a sort of defense mechanism is what that sounds like. Accepting that you're really all out attracted to her is the first step to true self-healing. It's easier to carry good feelings for someone you can't have, rather than hatred. It's also easier to move on if those feelings are positive.

Nonono, I'm not holding anything back. I really am kinda mulling over everything you said. Plus I don't want a fight or anything. I'm not totally sure I know what I'm talking about. O_o
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Nakah

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #53 on: February 10, 2012, 03:59:36 AM »

Yeah, but neither am I. I have no desire for any fight or debate either, but I would rather see a "No dumbdumb, you're wrong and this is why." Rather than "I somewhat agree, but whatever." sort of thing. That's all. It makes discussion more interesting(and better) when emotions are riled up a bit, given that boundaries and people in the discussion are respected.
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Jub3r7

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #54 on: February 11, 2012, 08:19:11 PM »

I don't really try to repress my feelings, I just try to change them.

If you give me time, I can feel however I want about something.
However, things that I've felt for a longer time (the ridiculous amount of time that I was dating her), the harder it is to change.

The only downside about being able to decide how I feel about something is that if I don't force an emotional response, there often isn't one...
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GreekGeek

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #55 on: February 12, 2012, 01:16:33 AM »

Nawh, it's so cute to hear ya guys talk so sensitively.

Personally, I hate love and I hope to never fall in love again.
My last crush was a total disaster.

Disaster capital letters disaster.

ETFROXX

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #56 on: February 12, 2012, 06:59:54 AM »

<etf rants about perspective on love>

I, personally, believe that when you love someone they make you want more for yourself, for them, and for everyone. They make life brighter, not just by being around. They make you want to be a better person, change for the better, or just make you feel amazing about who you are. Because they love who you are. It's not just about falling for their traits, physical attributes, etc. It's also about the effect they have on your life.

Personally, I'd find it hard to love someone that treated me like dirt and made no aspect of my life better, whatsoever. Part of why I love my boyfriend so much is because he makes me want to be a better person which, without really knowing it, is what I've wanted all along.

</etf rants about perspective on love>
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spitllama

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #57 on: February 12, 2012, 07:03:43 AM »

I'd agree with that. Good sum up.
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GreekGeek

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #58 on: February 12, 2012, 01:48:37 PM »

Agree, although it's easy to talk like that when there is somebody who loves you for who you are.

SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #59 on: February 12, 2012, 03:58:12 PM »

Agree, although it's easy to talk like that when there is somebody who loves you for who you are.

Yeah.

Also ETF I never said Margaret treated me like dirt? Why would I still be best friends with her if she treated me like dirt?
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